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Which of My Sex Essays Do You Like Best?

So I’m thinking of putting together a collection of my non-fiction writing about sex. And I wanted to ask my regular readers (and indeed my irregular ones): Which of my essays, reviews, journalism, rantings, and other non-fiction writing about sex do you like best?

Actually, I’ll modify that question, and clarify it. Which of my non-fiction writing about sex (if any) do you think are most important? Which (if any) do you find most memorable? Which are the ones that you remember without having to dip into my archives? Which are the ones that, if you do scan my archives, immediately leap out at you as “Oh, yeah, I remember that one!”

They can be ones that you loved, ones that made you angry, ones that changed your sex life, ones that changed how you view other people’s sex lives, ones you just thought were hilarious. Whatever definition you have of “most important,” “most memorable,” or “best” — I want to know what they are. If you feel like telling me why you’re listing the item or items you’re listing, that’s cool, but it’s not necessary.

I don’t absolutely promise to include your picks. I don’t even necessarily promise to write this book — right now, I’m just pondering it. But if I do write this book, I don’t just want to rely on my own perspective. There may be pieces that I was somewhat “Meh” about but that lots of other people love. If that’s true, I’d like to know. So let me know. Thanks!

Comments

  1. Blue says

    Being a Feminist and Writing Dirty, kinky Porn It sounds so cliche to say it changed my life, but it really did help me come to terms with my own sexuality.

    I identify as a feminist, and I write dirty, kinky porn, and it was making me feel like a bad person. Your articles (that one and others) definitely helped. I wrote an
    article about your article
    (mostly I just quoted a big chunk of it…). My site is mildy NSFW, though it links to content extremely not-so.

  2. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    The one that concludes with “don’t attack kinky porn simply because it’s kinky” or thereabouts.

  3. says

    Maybe you mean only blog posts and other things that haven’t already appeared in book form, but I really liked the introduction to Paying for It. It’s pretty specific to that book, but maybe an appropriate explanatory note would fix that.

  4. Daniel Schealler says

    Unicorn and the rainbow. Totally.

    Wasn’t actually a turn on or anything. It was just totally and delightfully surreal. Loved it. :)

  5. Daniel Schealler says

    Oh, wait. Sorry. I read that wrong. You specified non-fiction. For some reason my brain filtered out the ‘non’ on my first read-through. :P

  6. Stacy says

    The one about when you hired the submissive. I’m the mostly-vanilla type, and I learned a lot and had some preconceptions challenged!

  7. says

    “Are We Having Sex Now or What?” (It totally deserves its spot on the “If you’re just going to read five things…” list in the sidebar.)

    “All Boy-Boy Action” (as a fan of slash fan fic myself)

    “On Watching” (I don’t watch the show you were writing about but really related to the part about caring about characters.)

    “Compassion for the Religious” (for being compassionate and giving me hope)

    Agree with researchtobedone about “Lesbian Sex with Men”. (totally made me smile and gave me hope that people will be kind when a partner feels embarrassed about something during sex)

    And obviously, the various pieces about the importance of addressing sexual harassment, etc.

  8. Heather B says

    Are We Having Sex Now?

    After You, My Dear Alphonse

    The one about simultaneity vs. taking turns

    And Broccoli or Tofu?

  9. triple3a says

    1. Why Porn Matters
    2. Lesbian Sex With Men
    3. Puritan Pundits Should Chill Out — Here Are 5 Reasons I’m Happy I’ve Had Lots of Casual Sex
    4. Porn, Relationships, & What It’s Responsible To Ask For
    5. Why Sex Is Not Spiritual
    6. Porn Or Erotica?
    7. Porn, Social Criticism, and the Marginalization of Kink
    8. On Writing Kinky Porn In Rape Culture
    9. What Women Want, and the Myth of the Psychic Lesbians
    10. Running Along The Cliff: The Plateau Phase

    I don’t want to say these are my all-time faves, but they were the first sex essays of yours that introduced me to the Wonderful World of Greta Christina.  Many thanks!

  10. charliekilian says

    Two of your essays really made a huge difference in how I think about (and have) sex.

    The first was Are We Having Sex Now Or What? That one led me to be much more honest and clear with myself that anything I did that was sex things counted as sex.

    The second was Lesbian Sex With Men. I had almost reached these conclusions just from the first essay. In fact, I had reached those conclusions — just in a muddled way that I wouldn’t have been able to explain very well. After reading Lesbian Sex With Men, everything was much sharper in my mind. I understood exactly what I was doing and why.

    These two essays have had a profound impact on how I approach my sex life. I have better sex for having read them. They helped me shed a penis-centric view of what sex was all about, which means that when I do have sex, my partner and I both have more fun.

    Aside: Someday my kids are going to google my name and they’re going to come across this and be all like, Whoa, ew, TMI. Hi kids! Go read Greta’s essays. Your life will be better off for it. Start with these:

    http://gretachristina.typepad.com/greta_christinas_weblog/2006/09/are_we_having_s_1.html
    http://gretachristina.typepad.com/greta_christinas_weblog/2008/04/lesbian-sex-w-1.html

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