I need a dumb distraction. Anyone want to play a game?
I keep getting this spam with the subject line, “3 Questions That Will Excite Any Woman!” Of course they don’t tell you what the three questions are — they want you to buy their stupid product, which will supposedly tell you what these magical foolproof woman-exciting questions are. And I’m fairly certain that there do not exist three questions that are guaranteed to excite any and every woman. Sexually or otherwise.
But I keep thinking: Are there three questions that would excite me, under just about any circumstances?
Of course I was tempted to go with, “What is your name?” “What is your quest?” “What is the airspeed of an unladen swallow?” But I decided to be a little more original than that. Here’s my stab at it.
1: “Did you read in the New York Times that they’ve definitively discovered the cause of abiogenesis?”
2: “Hey, isn’t that Jon Hamm over there in the corner making eyes at you?”
3: “Do you know that your hair is on fire?”
What about you? What three questions will get you excited?