Excuse me. “erotic whimsys.”
The Blaze, Glenn Beck’s “news” website, ran a piece about Sextravaganza, the atheist sex-themed mini-con I’m doing at the University of Utah tomorrow (Saturday). The Blaze piece is basically just a rehash of a story the Salt Lake City Tribune ran about Sextravaganza, with a scare headline slapped onto it (“What‘s a ’Sextravaganza’ and Why Is the University of Utah Hosting It?”). But there’s a comment that I absolutely had to share with y’all (it’s from cookcountypatriot, you have to scroll down to see it since The Blaze won’t let you link to specific comments):
they will do anything to push thier **** erotic whimsys.
Erotic whimsies.
Really?
Based on the rest of the comment, cookcountypatriot was apparently going for the doom-y hellfire vibe. If so — fail. It just sounds so quaint and Victorian. For me, it conjures up frolicking in a field in lace underwear. Or late-night shenanigans at a country estate, with frisky gentlefolk sneaking in and out of bedrooms, and delightfully comical misunderstandings. And Ingrid said it sounded like something you’d receive an engraved invitation for, with lots of curlicues around the border. “An evening of erotic whimsies.” Perhaps involving tea, and the reading of saucy literature. Chaucer! Rabelais! Balzac!
“They will do anything to push their erotic whimsies.” NOOOOOOOOOO! Not the erotic whimsies! What will those perverted atheists think of next! Rum in the tea? Women showing their ankles? Young ladies walking with their beaux… unchaperoned?
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Gretchen
September 15, 2012 at 12:49 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
The Erotic Whimsies is my Elvis Costello cover band.
julian
September 15, 2012 at 1:00 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Why I never!
College kids are openly talking about sex?!
What has our world come to?
David Parnell
September 15, 2012 at 1:16 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Erotic Whimsies sounds like a really bitchin dance-punk group/variety act
pough
September 15, 2012 at 1:29 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
You can all laugh, but I honestly think there is something merrily sinister about erotic whimsies.
Aspect Sign
September 15, 2012 at 1:56 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It’s like I have always said, the problem with atheist is they are too damn whimsical!
Menyambal --- Sambal's Little Helper
September 15, 2012 at 2:19 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
That is precious. Thank you for sharing with us all.
c rowanhawthorn
September 15, 2012 at 2:36 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Sounds like something involving Jareth, the Goblin King.
AJ Milne
September 15, 2012 at 2:41 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
(Lawls…)
Well, y’know how it is…
You let them get away with them thar erotic whimsies today, and next they’ll be up for licentious revelry, just maybe some off that lascivious ribaldry…
Who knows. Possibly, they may take this all the way to carnal tomfoolery. It’s really best this thing be nipped in the bud.
Josh, Official SpokesGay
September 15, 2012 at 4:00 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It sounds like something one would find at Lady Divine’s Cavalcade of Perversions. And there’s good eatin’ on that.
Tâlib Alttaawiil (طالب التاويل)
September 15, 2012 at 4:39 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
wow.
‘erotic whimsies’ might even be a better name for the event itself…
i hope i can make it to erotic whimsies next year.
Joey Maloney
September 15, 2012 at 5:37 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I would really prefer not to see “erotic” and “Glenn Beck” in the same posting. Or really, the same universe.
Rodney Nelson
September 15, 2012 at 6:07 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Glen Beck is a prude. Who’d a thunk it?
Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort
September 15, 2012 at 7:02 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
You seriously need that as a tag line:
“Sexstravaganza! An Evening of Erotic Whimsies!”
AnyBeth
September 15, 2012 at 7:10 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’m tired, I’m taking things literally (and not at all as intended), and I’m probably geeking. I can’t take the comment seriously, either, but I don’t take it seriously in an entirely different way.
It starts with taking “whimsies” as a concrete noun.
So what do(es) whimsies look like? Is whimsies a plural noun or an uncountable one (like, say, “corn” is). How may whimsies be made erotic? Does it have to do with making them mobile? Do you make whimsies erotic by adding wheels? Or just lube?
– What is the (applicable) coefficient of friction of unladen whimsies?
– Erotic or unerotic whimsies?
Or maybe you make whimsies erotic by turning them on. But how do you turn on whimsies? Hmm…
Rodney Nelson
September 15, 2012 at 7:46 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
But “whimsies” is an abstract noun, so your pedantry is sophistry.
Or am I being too literal?
AnyBeth
September 15, 2012 at 8:19 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Rodney, I did also say, “and not at all as intended”. I know perfectly well I was being silly in my comment. I thought I made that clear.
You wouldn’t know, but finding a way of making something abstract (or even impossible) physical is kind of a thing of mine. I’ve made plushies of a peeve (to be a pet, of course) and of an imaginary friend. I’ve also made “imaginary jewelry” (the concept contrasted with something said on a silly commercial). Oh, but those are abstract or even impossible, so for me to think of them that way is pedantic sophistry? Really?
I’m apt to be silly on occasion. So what?
khms
September 15, 2012 at 8:22 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Reminds me of …
Tsu Dho Nimh
September 15, 2012 at 8:24 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“Erotic Whimsies”? A great name for a shop selling erotic devices. Or a line of sex toys with high prices and fancy packaging.
Quick, trademark it!
No One
September 15, 2012 at 8:37 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Wouls these count? :
http://www.peacebewithu.com/medlium-7-8-pink-black-ladies-cross-impression-flip-flops/
jackal
September 15, 2012 at 9:53 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I think the “****” was meant as a stand in for “homo” (which they think is a dirty word), so the intended phrase would be “homoerotic whimsies.” Not quite as quaintly suggestive, but still a descriptor suitable for the shenanigans contained within a same-sex rom-com based loosely off a Jane Austen novel.
hellboundallee
September 15, 2012 at 10:47 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I suggest you search google images for Victorian Whimsies. Then use your imagination about erotic whimsy.
glodson
September 15, 2012 at 1:51 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I rather like “erotic whimsys.” That should be a thing. I’m not entirely sure what it should be, but we should define “erotic whimsys” as something.
sqlrob
September 15, 2012 at 2:16 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Uh huh. Can you point of someone being tied up and dragged to this(*)
(*) Well, without consent.
JoeBuddha
September 15, 2012 at 2:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Plus points for the Music Man reference…
leftwingfox
September 15, 2012 at 3:36 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Steampunk erotica?
HumanisticJones
September 15, 2012 at 4:38 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Erotic Whimsies you say?
Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)
September 15, 2012 at 7:18 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
More erotic whimsys please.
WMDKitty (Always growing and learning)
September 15, 2012 at 7:20 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Erotic whimsies sound like fun!
jh42
September 15, 2012 at 10:21 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Really enjoyed the talk today, Greta – I think “terrifying” should turn into “terrific” and talk about the “terrific erotic whimsies”.
Seriously, though, fantastic talk.
rebeccahensler
September 15, 2012 at 11:48 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Erotic Whimsies are what take place on the Curious Sofa.
hyrax
September 16, 2012 at 12:03 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Thank you so much for this, Greta. I’m sad to say the haters have been getting me down recently. All the hatred and abuse directed at women in atheism and the baffling pushback against A+ has made it so that reading my atheist blogroll lately has been a tiring and frequently upsetting experience.
I actually clicked over here immediately after reading Stephanie’s post Too Ugly to be Raped. The sudden influx of the absurd “erotic whimsys”, coupled* with your absolutely hilarious imagery made me laugh out loud. I needed that.
Also, I would love to see that show.
*Pun intended?
Midnight Rambler
September 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Whimsicle fucking?
godlesspanther
September 16, 2012 at 11:31 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
My thought was — The Erotic Whimseys! What a great name for a band!
It appears that my thought was not all that original.
lafranceprofonde
September 17, 2012 at 9:17 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Thank you Greta for your and Ingrid’s very amusing ideas of what an Erotic Whimsy might be, but I already knew!!! for I still possess a copy of the 1961 “The Curious Sofa” – a pornographic work by Ogdred Weary, published in New York.
Bronze Dog
September 17, 2012 at 11:08 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
(Puts on a top hat and monocle) Erotic whimsies? How droll! Please inform the ladies I shall be arriving by autogyro.
So, what does a pet peeve look like? I’m kind of imagining a cross between a purple dragon and one of those wrinkly dogs.
nomennescio
September 17, 2012 at 11:52 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Makes me envision a quaint little antique shop ran by a kindly old Englishwoman, who’ll offer you a nice cup of tea and a sit-down to chat about sexy days gone by before you start shopping for whimsies.
Why isn’t this a real thing?!!
AnyBeth
September 17, 2012 at 6:53 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Bronze Dog, the peeve was much simpler. It looked more like a cross between one of those animate M&Ms from the commercials (though this was years before those) and a Weepul. It was round (about a foot diameter and 4 inches at thickest) with feet and large googly-eyes. It was, of course, very furry — you want to pet the peeve. I’d seen some green fur in the remnants section and just had to do something with it. First thing I ever machine-sewed, actually, and not a small feat considering the shape and material. It didn’t look like anything in particular, not then.
The imaginary friend, otoh, does look like one. Definitely looks imaginary, anyhow, providing one knows enough math.
Jafafa Hots
September 17, 2012 at 9:17 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Real sex shops wouldn’t sell erotic whimsies.
Those are what you get at Spencer Gifts.
im
September 18, 2012 at 12:46 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Dot Tumblr Dot Com.
Seriously, that might be a good name for a talk…
Pieter B, FCD
September 18, 2012 at 5:58 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Kudos for the Music Man reference and to Midnight Rambler for the Regretsy reference.
nautilus
September 22, 2012 at 12:39 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
This was one of the funniest threads I’ve read in a long time. Refreshing to take break from all stressful stuff. Motivated me to go bake some gingerbread people with whimsical “private parts”.
Sextravagana! Not Letting Religion Rule Secular Sexual Ethics «
September 20, 2012 at 6:58 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
[...] an event that was expected by religious conservatives to be somewhere between vile orgy and pushing “erotic whimsys,” I fear that permanently offended religious people seeking shocked titillation, Sextravaganza would [...]