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“Erotic whimsies”

Excuse me. “erotic whimsys.”

The Blaze, Glenn Beck’s “news” website, ran a piece about Sextravaganza, the atheist sex-themed mini-con I’m doing at the University of Utah tomorrow (Saturday). The Blaze piece is basically just a rehash of a story the Salt Lake City Tribune ran about Sextravaganza, with a scare headline slapped onto it (“What‘s a ’Sextravaganza’ and Why Is the University of Utah Hosting It?”). But there’s a comment that I absolutely had to share with y’all (it’s from cookcountypatriot, you have to scroll down to see it since The Blaze won’t let you link to specific comments):

they will do anything to push thier **** erotic whimsys.

Erotic whimsies.

Really?

Based on the rest of the comment, cookcountypatriot was apparently going for the doom-y hellfire vibe. If so — fail. It just sounds so quaint and Victorian. For me, it conjures up frolicking in a field in lace underwear. Or late-night shenanigans at a country estate, with frisky gentlefolk sneaking in and out of bedrooms, and delightfully comical misunderstandings. And Ingrid said it sounded like something you’d receive an engraved invitation for, with lots of curlicues around the border. “An evening of erotic whimsies.” Perhaps involving tea, and the reading of saucy literature. Chaucer! Rabelais! Balzac!

“They will do anything to push their erotic whimsies.” NOOOOOOOOOO! Not the erotic whimsies! What will those perverted atheists think of next! Rum in the tea? Women showing their ankles? Young ladies walking with their beaux… unchaperoned?

Comments

  1. says

    Ingrid said it sounded like something you’d receive an engraved invitation for, with lots of curlicues around the border. “An evening of erotic whimsies.” Perhaps involving tea, and the reading of saucy literature. Chaucer! Rabelais! Balzac!

    (Lawls…)

    Well, y’know how it is…

    You let them get away with them thar erotic whimsies today, and next they’ll be up for licentious revelry, just maybe some off that lascivious ribaldry…

    Who knows. Possibly, they may take this all the way to carnal tomfoolery. It’s really best this thing be nipped in the bud.

  2. Josh, Official SpokesGay says

    It sounds like something one would find at Lady Divine’s Cavalcade of Perversions. And there’s good eatin’ on that.

  3. Tâlib Alttaawiil (طالب التاويل) says

    wow.

    ‘erotic whimsies’ might even be a better name for the event itself…

    i hope i can make it to erotic whimsies next year.

  4. Joey Maloney says

    I would really prefer not to see “erotic” and “Glenn Beck” in the same posting. Or really, the same universe.

  5. AnyBeth says

    I’m tired, I’m taking things literally (and not at all as intended), and I’m probably geeking. I can’t take the comment seriously, either, but I don’t take it seriously in an entirely different way.

    It starts with taking “whimsies” as a concrete noun.
    So what do(es) whimsies look like? Is whimsies a plural noun or an uncountable one (like, say, “corn” is). How may whimsies be made erotic? Does it have to do with making them mobile? Do you make whimsies erotic by adding wheels? Or just lube?

    – What is the (applicable) coefficient of friction of unladen whimsies?
    – Erotic or unerotic whimsies?

    Or maybe you make whimsies erotic by turning them on. But how do you turn on whimsies? Hmm…

  6. Rodney Nelson says

    It starts with taking “whimsies” as a concrete noun.

    But “whimsies” is an abstract noun, so your pedantry is sophistry.

    Or am I being too literal?

  7. AnyBeth says

    Rodney, I did also say, “and not at all as intended”. I know perfectly well I was being silly in my comment. I thought I made that clear.

    You wouldn’t know, but finding a way of making something abstract (or even impossible) physical is kind of a thing of mine. I’ve made plushies of a peeve (to be a pet, of course) and of an imaginary friend. I’ve also made “imaginary jewelry” (the concept contrasted with something said on a silly commercial). Oh, but those are abstract or even impossible, so for me to think of them that way is pedantic sophistry? Really?

    I’m apt to be silly on occasion. So what?

  8. khms says

    Reminds me of …

    Sable, 3 mice courant, argent; crest, a domestic cat couched as to spring, proper.

    Motto “As my Whimsy takes me.”

  9. Tsu Dho Nimh says

    “Erotic Whimsies”? A great name for a shop selling erotic devices. Or a line of sex toys with high prices and fancy packaging.

    Quick, trademark it!

  10. jackal says

    I think the “****” was meant as a stand in for “homo” (which they think is a dirty word), so the intended phrase would be “homoerotic whimsies.” Not quite as quaintly suggestive, but still a descriptor suitable for the shenanigans contained within a same-sex rom-com based loosely off a Jane Austen novel.

  11. glodson says

    I rather like “erotic whimsys.” That should be a thing. I’m not entirely sure what it should be, but we should define “erotic whimsys” as something.

  12. sqlrob says

    they will do anything to push thier **** erotic whimsys.

    Uh huh. Can you point of someone being tied up and dragged to this(*)

    (*) Well, without consent.

  13. leftwingfox says

    I’m not entirely sure what it should be, but we should define “erotic whimsys” as something.

    Steampunk erotica?

  14. jh42 says

    Really enjoyed the talk today, Greta – I think “terrifying” should turn into “terrific” and talk about the “terrific erotic whimsies”.

    Seriously, though, fantastic talk. :)

  15. hyrax says

    Thank you so much for this, Greta. I’m sad to say the haters have been getting me down recently. All the hatred and abuse directed at women in atheism and the baffling pushback against A+ has made it so that reading my atheist blogroll lately has been a tiring and frequently upsetting experience.

    I actually clicked over here immediately after reading Stephanie’s post Too Ugly to be Raped. The sudden influx of the absurd “erotic whimsys”, coupled* with your absolutely hilarious imagery made me laugh out loud. I needed that. :-) Also, I would love to see that show.

    *Pun intended?

  16. Midnight Rambler says

    I’m not entirely sure what it should be, but we should define “erotic whimsys” as something.

    Whimsicle fucking?

  17. godlesspanther says

    My thought was — The Erotic Whimseys! What a great name for a band!

    It appears that my thought was not all that original.

  18. lafranceprofonde says

    Thank you Greta for your and Ingrid’s very amusing ideas of what an Erotic Whimsy might be, but I already knew!!! for I still possess a copy of the 1961 “The Curious Sofa” – a pornographic work by Ogdred Weary, published in New York.

  19. says

    (Puts on a top hat and monocle) Erotic whimsies? How droll! Please inform the ladies I shall be arriving by autogyro.

    I’ve made plushies of a peeve (to be a pet, of course) and of an imaginary friend.

    So, what does a pet peeve look like? I’m kind of imagining a cross between a purple dragon and one of those wrinkly dogs.

  20. nomennescio says

    Makes me envision a quaint little antique shop ran by a kindly old Englishwoman, who’ll offer you a nice cup of tea and a sit-down to chat about sexy days gone by before you start shopping for whimsies.

    Why isn’t this a real thing?!!

  21. AnyBeth says

    Bronze Dog, the peeve was much simpler. It looked more like a cross between one of those animate M&Ms from the commercials (though this was years before those) and a Weepul. It was round (about a foot diameter and 4 inches at thickest) with feet and large googly-eyes. It was, of course, very furry — you want to pet the peeve. I’d seen some green fur in the remnants section and just had to do something with it. First thing I ever machine-sewed, actually, and not a small feat considering the shape and material. It didn’t look like anything in particular, not then.

    The imaginary friend, otoh, does look like one. Definitely looks imaginary, anyhow, providing one knows enough math.

  22. nautilus says

    This was one of the funniest threads I’ve read in a long time. Refreshing to take break from all stressful stuff. Motivated me to go bake some gingerbread people with whimsical “private parts”.

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