UPDATE: My appointment with the orthopedist is on Thursday. I’ll hopefully have a better idea then of how long I’m going to be laid up for.
*****
Hi, all. I’ll start this by saying that I’m fine, or rather, that I will be fine eventually, and hopefully soon. I dislocated my knee yesterday. It’s now been relocated (it was under the sofa), but at the moment I’m on crutches, a splint, and Vicodin. I don’t yet know how long I’m going to be on any of these. I’ll be seeing an orthopedist sometime soon, I’m waiting for them to call and set me up with an appointment. Until that appointment, I have no idea how if I’m going to be laid up for days or weeks.
I can write with crutches and a splint, but I’m not stupid enough to think that I can write on Vicodin. So I may be off the blog for a bit. I’ll post updates when I can. And my apologies if this isn’t very coherent or well-written. See above re: Vicodin.
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sisu
July 16, 2012 at 1:27 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
oh no! I hope you heal quickly. And in the meantime, you could always just post more kitteh pictures.
Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort
July 16, 2012 at 1:28 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ouch. Just stay off the knee and take it easy!
Alyson Miers
July 16, 2012 at 1:34 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
You could write on Vicodin, but not post it; just save it offline. Then, when you’re all healed up, you could look at your Vicodin-enhanced writing and see if there’s something worth using.
Anyway. I hope you feel better soon and that the kitties treat you well while you recover.
Ned Champlain
July 16, 2012 at 1:40 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Heal quickly dear lady.
baal
July 16, 2012 at 1:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I spent a semester on opioids after a surgery. It was a really weird experience reading them later as I couldn’t recall ever writing them. I also tended to trail off and write words next to each other that didn’t belong there.
May the recovery be speedy!
bcoppola
July 16, 2012 at 1:48 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Hope the Vicodin doesn’t have the same, um, gastrointestinal side effects for you as it had on me. Fairly common I understand.
Besides that, what the others said. Take it easy and enjoy the kittehs and the pampering from Ingrid. She is pampering you, right?
Pierce R. Butler
July 16, 2012 at 1:50 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
You forgot to tell us whose ass you were kicking to cause that dislocation.
Get well soon – more kicking will be needed!
Cthandhs
July 16, 2012 at 1:51 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Knees are teh worst. Science, get us robotic replacement joints, please. Hope you feel better soon, I recommend painkillers and kitteh snugs.
Nate Adams
July 16, 2012 at 1:54 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Get better soon! You might try doing some writing on the Vicodin just for giggles. Heck, I once did some of my best work while I was on Vicodin and I’m a computer programmer!
Here’s hoping for a quick recovery!
Casimir
July 16, 2012 at 1:59 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yikes! So sorry to hear that. Hope you get better soon, Greta!
Azuma Hazuki
July 16, 2012 at 2:05 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ouch
Well, be easy on yourself for now and try not to damage the poor knee more. I hope you recover quickly!
Sheila Crosby
July 16, 2012 at 2:09 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ouch! Poor you. Get well soon. (And yes, writing on painkillers is recommended. Posting definitely isn’t.)
Jeff
July 16, 2012 at 2:14 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ow! I definitely agree with the others who say to write (but not post) on Vicodin. The few times I’ve had to be on opiates my writing was horribly incoherent, but there were a number of ideas and turns of phrase that I later lifted for sober writing.
KDoug
July 16, 2012 at 2:21 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Take it easy and get well soon with the aid of science-based medicine!
Improbable Joe
July 16, 2012 at 2:40 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Sorry you’re hurting.
On the funny side, when you said your knee was dislocated and under the sofa, well… I just watched The Thing prequel, and all I could see in my head was your knee pulling itself off of your leg, growing a half-dozen insect legs, and scurrying under the couch. Then I guess trying to tease it out and into a cat carrier to get it and you to a hospital by using beef jerky and peanut butter as bait.
BCat70
July 16, 2012 at 2:51 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Sorry to hear about your knee… on the other hand, personal experience says yayyy Vicodin! Don’t worry about blogging for awhile, just set up some kitteh pics and enjoy the ride.
Robert (SeraphymC)
July 16, 2012 at 3:15 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
You should definitely write something on vicodin, save it, and then share it, if it proves amusing or enlightening (or trash it if not).
Best wishes for a speedy recovery!
F
July 16, 2012 at 3:36 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Oh no you didn’t. Gah! I hope this is not a complex injury (well, relative to knee dislocations) and that you are on the mend soon.
Christopher Stephens
July 16, 2012 at 3:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’d be lying if I said that I won’t miss your writing, but take it easy and take care of yourself! Get better soon!
WilloNyx
July 16, 2012 at 3:56 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Get better soon. We will be here when you are less drugged.
mcbender
July 16, 2012 at 4:08 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Of course you can write on Vicodin! Just get yourself a really fine-tipped pen and touch it to the pill and there you go! …Oh, that’s not what you meant?
Feel better, Greta.
ibelieveindog
July 16, 2012 at 4:39 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I hope you feel better soon!
FluffyTheTerrible
July 16, 2012 at 5:11 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Get well soon, Cristina. We are suffering without are regular dose of witty, thoughtful, incisive and intellectually elegant posts!
Regarding the Vicodin, I am going to join other posters above me, and suggest you do what Hemingway said: “Write drunk, edit sober”. (apparently, the quote is a misattribution, but considering how seldom Hemingway must have been sober, I think it works better).
FluffyTheTerrible
July 16, 2012 at 5:12 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
And I managed to misspell your name… I meant Christina. Sorry and a precious sacrifice to the Typos Monster.
Morgan
July 16, 2012 at 5:29 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Oh my! I hope the painkillers have you feeling okay, that you’ll be feeling okay without them sooner rather than later, and that your leg will be all right before too long. Good luck in the meantime!
Smith Powell
July 16, 2012 at 5:31 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Take care of yourself. Get well quickly with minimal pain, discomfort, and inconvenience.
James Pearson
July 16, 2012 at 6:00 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Get well soon! Your writing will be greatly missed. In the meantime, I will not pray for you.
Jennifer, Uppity Bitch and General Malcontent
July 16, 2012 at 6:22 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
All of the madfaces! Get better soon!
Amanda
July 16, 2012 at 6:53 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Argh, get well soon comrade.
absent sway
July 16, 2012 at 7:33 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Aw, I’m sad to hear that and hope you heal quickly.
SherryH
July 16, 2012 at 8:01 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Oh, ouch! I’m so sorry to hear you injured your knee. Stay off it, heal, take care of yourself (or let Ingrid take care of you), pet kittens.
(I’ll sign onto the idea that you ought to write on Vicodin. Just, maybe read it over while you’re off the Vicodin before actually posting…)
bossanova
July 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
oy/ouch m(
wishing you all the best Greta and pls. take good care of yourself esp. your knee.
// indeedly, kneez are ./. teh … //
seriously, i do wish your knee will be alright again
(mine wont so i empathize)
greetz from europe
lcaution
July 16, 2012 at 9:48 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I just hope you didn’t lose your health insurance when you gave up your day job!
I second sisu: kittehs will keep us happy until you no longer need the vicodin. (I assume that yours are sufficiently well-behaved so as not to use your crutches for scratching posts.)
carlie
July 16, 2012 at 9:59 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Please take off whatever time you need to get better! As soon as I saw “dislocated” my brain did many loud swears in sympathy. Also, my reaction was “PLEASE WRITE ON VICODIN”.
Loki
July 16, 2012 at 10:15 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Please post Hunter S. Thompson style postings. No reason to waste the creativity of the drugs, mannnn.
Otrame
July 16, 2012 at 11:31 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Sorry for your pain. I spent 3 months on Vicodin once. The heavy stuff called Norco. At first it didn’t seem to make much difference in my writing (I was still working at the time) but as time went on it had worse and worse effect on many motor skills and my ability to put together a reasonable sentence. And talk? I don’t think I stopped talking for more than a few seconds the whole time.
So I recommend you have your wife read through stuff.
I hope you can get it fixed and get off the harder stuff ASAP. In fact I hope you have as little pain as can be expected. If they want to “cure with steel” let them. All those sports injuries have resulted in some truly amazing surgical advances for knees.
jack
July 16, 2012 at 11:45 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
So sorry to hear about your injury. Get well soon. Yes, vicodin is wonderful when you really need it. You’re a sharp person and probably don’t need this advice, but I’ll give it anyway, just because I’ve been on the receiving end of another person’s addiction: use it while you’re hurting, but get off it as soon as you reasonably can. Vicodin is a double-edged sword. “Pain pills” are aptly named, not so much for the pain they relieve as for the pain they can cause.
Best wishes for a full and speedy recovery. I loved your book, by the way.
woodsong
July 16, 2012 at 11:47 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Good luck, Greta. May you have a speedy and complete recovery!
Chakolate
July 17, 2012 at 12:24 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I really sympathize. My left kneecap wanders off from time to time, just to remind me that it can inflict pain whenever it wishes. Sigh.
I hope you’re better soon.
Brad
July 17, 2012 at 1:13 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Heal swiftly. Also, please write on vicodin. If what you end up with isn’t postable, you could still use them as fund-raiser bonuses.
Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven
July 17, 2012 at 2:15 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Shit
I’m so sorry. Unfortunately, dislocating a knee lead my mom to really horrifically severe knee troubles.
If you do need surgery, it’s best to do it, it turns out, while you still have some cartilage left. If it starts getting ground away, don’t wait until it’s all gone.
Jackie
July 17, 2012 at 6:11 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ouch! Try and take it easy, and I hope you’re feeling better soon. Don’t worry about the blog until you’re feeling up to posting; healing is more important! (It’s not as though you don’t have a huge archive of brilliant posts for us to read if we miss your writing that much. ^_^)
John of Indiana
July 17, 2012 at 7:36 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I did some of my best writing on Parafon Forte when my back was out…
Hope you get on the mend soon, Greta, with no cutting…
Martha
July 17, 2012 at 9:03 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Adding my wishes for a speedy recovery to the list! I hope the pain is manageable until Thursday and that the doctor has good news for your knee.
Mattir
July 17, 2012 at 9:24 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
So can I bring this meme here? Rebecca Watson dislocated Greta’s knee. And made Vicodin side effects.
Seriously, feel better soon. Orthopedic injuries suck.
Amanda Marcotte
July 17, 2012 at 9:36 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ugh, feel better. I know that we writers often feel like as long as we can operate the keyboard, we should be able to work, but it’s just not like that.
hexidecima
July 17, 2012 at 2:49 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
oh you *can* write on vicodin, but the results would be hmmm, interesting?
my husband’s knee dislocates about onces every few years, and he just slams it back into place. Not fun. Kittehs do make good warming units
philipelliott
July 17, 2012 at 3:14 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
RICE it!
ischemgeek
July 17, 2012 at 4:03 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
You can write on Vicodin better than I can on codeine, if it helps at all. I screwed up my knee with stupid overtraining last year, so I know from experience.
I hope you get better smoothly, with a rapid and full recovery.
Unbeliever
July 17, 2012 at 4:14 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It’s all my fault.
It started with my family, and started working outwards.
In the past month, my mom fell and broke her pelvis, and dad fell and broke his leg, I fell and broke my shoulder, my sister’s been surrounded by the Colorado wildfires, my wife’s grandma died, her father had to check himself into a nursing home, and most recently, some good friends of ours had their eldest daughter (mid-20′s) mysteriously die in her sleep.
So you see, now it’s spreading to bloggers I regularly read!
If I were Christian, I’d say God was punishing me for something. As an atheist, all I can do is crack jokes like this about *THE CURSE* [insert spooky music] and look all scary and menacing.
So. BEWARE “THE CURSE”(tm)!!!
Coming soon to someone ELSE I am related to or vaguely aware of on the internet…
[Seriously, though, best wishes re the knee...]
Jadehawk, mec fâché en jupe
July 17, 2012 at 8:50 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
If watching House has taught me anything, it’s that atheists function better on Vicodin. Therefore, you should write more. :-p
anyway, get better, and I hope your appointment goes well.
signed,
fellow atheist on crutches and drugs
dogeared, spotted and foxed
July 17, 2012 at 10:14 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Oh, ouch! That doesn’t sound very nice at all. Best wishes for a fast recovery. I hope you feel better soon!
Glen Farber
July 18, 2012 at 10:30 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Having had my share of knee troubles, I have some sound advice for you. Although the Vicodin may help, it can also hurt in the sense that it masks the pain. Hence, you can find yourself trying to get around more than you should. Resist that temptation. Beyond this, my only advice is on the “why waste the drug induced thought processes” side of the argument. It might be cool to see what you come up with.
sceptinurse
July 18, 2012 at 8:27 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yes, please feel better soon. Take your pain meds as you need them, they work better if you don’t try to scrimp on them. Cuddle kitties and write if you get bored. Who knows what you might come up with…
Blobulon
July 18, 2012 at 8:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I hope you get better soon. Hugs!
I add my vote for vicodin writing and kitties.
stellarash
July 18, 2012 at 9:13 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ow! Ow! Ow! It hurts thinking about it.
Get better soon!
History, My Bum Knee, and Some People I Want to Thank | Greta Christina's Blog
July 19, 2012 at 3:25 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
[...] whole “dislocated knee” thing has sucked, and continues to suck, and will probably suck for a little while longer. (I don’t [...]