Caturday: The Argument from Kitties

It’s been a few weeks since the SSA Kitten Blogathon of Doom, so I thought some of you might be ready for some kitty pictures again. Especially since the presence of these kitties in our lives is causing me and Ingrid to seriously question our lack of belief in the supernatural. I present to you: The Argument from Kitties.

Houdini

Talisker

Comet

Here’s our thinking. Our cats are, by all reasonable objective standards, the best cats on the planet. What’s more, they are not only the best cats on the planet — they are the cats that are most perfectly suited for us. And obviously, they’re the cutest as well.

But what are the chances that we would happen to end up, not just with the single best cat in the world, but with the all three of the best three cats? And then add to that unlikelihood: What are the odds that, at the exact moment we decided we wanted to get kitties, the three best, cutest, best suited for us cats on the planet would just happen to be the first three cats we looked at?

Then multiply that by the astronomical improbability of the combinatorial math. The three combinations of any two of our kitties are — again, by all reasonable objective measurements — the three best possible combinations of two kitties. And the combination of all three of our kitties is clearly the best three-cat set in the universe.

Comet and Talisker snuggling

Talisker and Houdini snuggling, with remote controls

Comet and Houdini snuggling

All three kittens snuggling

There is no way this is just a coincidence. And don’t come at me with some ridiculous notion that we are biased to the point of dementia with stupid love for our cats. There must be some conscious guiding force at work. Theistic catvolution.

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Caturday: The Argument from Kitties
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36 thoughts on “Caturday: The Argument from Kitties

  1. 1

    When I saw a Facebook friend of mine had pictures of you and she at a party up, I didn’t say “OMG, Q knows Greta Christina, lucky her!”, I said “Holy shit, Q knows Greta Christina’s cats, I’m so jealous!” Not that you are not awesome, but it is through teh kitteh that we know Teh Divine.

    Oh, sorry, channeled Karen Armstrong for a sec, I’m better now.

  2. 5

    There’s still no supernaturalness – would the greatest cat in the world be alone? Surely not, as we can imagine a cat that was greater by being with the second greatest cat. And we can still improve our greatest imagined cat by mixing it with the presence of the third greatest cat as well. And, since we can imagine this great thing of catitude, it must exist, and so it does.

    Putting the fourth greatest cat in there would be just silly.

  3. 9

    And today I have my new kitty avatar, that’s Oscar the half oriental, who shares our lives with a little brown female kitty which looks much like yours. Our two are currently fire worshipping or lap lying as it’s pretty cold this evening in our wintry bit of Australia.
    Must go off and hug a cat or two!

  4. 13

    This argument would’ve worked better, Greta, if you had used OUR kitties, instead. Not that your kitties aren’t cute, and all, but OUR kitties are obviously, by any objective standards, much better examples of perfection.

    Let the kitty wars begin! πŸ˜€

  5. 14

    Pfft, I am sure there is a perfectly logical explanation for this.

    Clearly cats are space aliens that tap into our brains via litter box parasites and read our thoughts in order to project themselves as the most ideal cat possible.

    That’s the real reason cats are so insistent that you clean their litter box.

  6. 15

    GC I was going to write that time has pasted and you argument from Kittens was delusional and as much wishful thinking as belief in Heaven. Then like a good christian you moved the goal posts and used the term Cats in the formal argument. Cheers.

  7. 22

    Ahh, but we have the two most perfect cats at our house.
    They even have a dog minion who does their bidding and gives up his soft dog bed to them.
    The leader is a polydactyl Maine Coon with seven claws on one front paw and six on all the others, resulting in some very useful “thumbs” on both front paws. He is in charge of all things.
    His second is a very large Flame Point Siamese with a very sweet and loving personality.
    Their minion is a one hundred pound German Shepherd who respects their wishes at all times.

  8. 23

    It’s also possible that you and Ingrid are such awesome cat-mommies that your kitties act like they’re perfectly suited to you because they know how lucky they are.

  9. 24

    OBJECTION!!!

    You do NOT have the best cats on the planet. My cats Fido, Junkmail, Auto-kitty, and Burp are the best cats on the planet. You may be excused in thinking that yours are the best, but you have been blinded by your love. The objective truth is clearly that my cats are the bestestest.

    Harrumph!

  10. 27

    Well, you got the Bast of THAT argument…

    Although Schroedinger’s cat thinks you’re only half-right about the Felinthropic Principle.

    β€œOnly a few find the way, some don’t recognize it when they do – some… don’t ever want to.”
    ― The Cheshire Cat

  11. 30

    I find “not liking cats” highly correlated to “having never really gotten to know a cat”. To which I say: How do you know you won’t like it if you don’t try it?

    I have to say, Greta, that perhaps your argument would be a bit more convincing if you could explain what good deeds you’ve done to bring this bounty into your life. My cats are pretty cute, but they can also be huge assholes, so clearly the deity likes me a bit less.

  12. 31

    This is so great! Speaking as a cat person who often finds her cats teaching her about the divine and who also feels that her cats are the best possible cats she could ever have found in combination with each other, I so appreciate what you’re saying here. πŸ™‚

  13. 32

    So I’m looking at the first 3 pictures. Houdini is unmistakable due to fur colors. Second is a picture of a tabby with a wild, inspired look in her eye. Sounds like Comet. Then a mysterious sphinx-looking closeup – Talisker? But somehow that doesn’t feel right. Review Tabby pix. Decide first has to be Talisker, second Comet. Unable to explain why I think that. Check mouse-over text. Wow, got it right. I’m so pleased to have met the kitties in person.

    Kitties are proof, as Ben Franklin said about beer, that God loves us and wants us to be happy. πŸ˜‰

  14. 33

    Josie:

    Talisker is recognizable by the white bib and white toes. Comet is just tabby all over with no white spots. So yes, your second guess is the correct one.

    I am so delighted that you have met them in person too. You are always so appreciative of our girls!

  15. 34

    ummm this message is from my kindle. the browser is a bit tricky to use. and i am not sure what i am replying to. nevertheless – the cats are beautiful. i am reading the “angry atheist” book – v good. greetings from england. one thing that gets me fucking angry are the god channels on sky tv. i hate all of that fase sincerity and even more so the deceit. bunch of con artists -all of them. after 5 minutes of that bull crap – nothing better than to get a head rub from our lovely tabby. why do i tune into that stuff ? just to check that it is still on the airwaves.

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