It’s been a few weeks since the SSA Kitten Blogathon of Doom, so I thought some of you might be ready for some kitty pictures again. Especially since the presence of these kitties in our lives is causing me and Ingrid to seriously question our lack of belief in the supernatural. I present to you: The Argument from Kitties.
Here’s our thinking. Our cats are, by all reasonable objective standards, the best cats on the planet. What’s more, they are not only the best cats on the planet — they are the cats that are most perfectly suited for us. And obviously, they’re the cutest as well.
But what are the chances that we would happen to end up, not just with the single best cat in the world, but with the all three of the best three cats? And then add to that unlikelihood: What are the odds that, at the exact moment we decided we wanted to get kitties, the three best, cutest, best suited for us cats on the planet would just happen to be the first three cats we looked at?
Then multiply that by the astronomical improbability of the combinatorial math. The three combinations of any two of our kitties are — again, by all reasonable objective measurements — the three best possible combinations of two kitties. And the combination of all three of our kitties is clearly the best three-cat set in the universe.
There is no way this is just a coincidence. And don’t come at me with some ridiculous notion that we are biased to the point of dementia with stupid love for our cats. There must be some conscious guiding force at work. Theistic catvolution.
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Nepenthe
July 7, 2012 at 12:21 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
When I saw a Facebook friend of mine had pictures of you and she at a party up, I didn’t say “OMG, Q knows Greta Christina, lucky her!”, I said “Holy shit, Q knows Greta Christina’s cats, I’m so jealous!” Not that you are not awesome, but it is through teh kitteh that we know Teh Divine.
Oh, sorry, channeled Karen Armstrong for a sec, I’m better now.
feralboy12
July 7, 2012 at 12:27 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I think you’re right. Only a divine being could fine-tune the purrameters of your universe with such precision.
PDX_Greg
July 7, 2012 at 12:35 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Catural selection!
David Harper
July 7, 2012 at 1:00 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It’s clearly an Act of Bast.
eNeMeE
July 7, 2012 at 4:04 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
There’s still no supernaturalness – would the greatest cat in the world be alone? Surely not, as we can imagine a cat that was greater by being with the second greatest cat. And we can still improve our greatest imagined cat by mixing it with the presence of the third greatest cat as well. And, since we can imagine this great thing of catitude, it must exist, and so it does.
Putting the fourth greatest cat in there would be just silly.
Nurse Ingrid
July 7, 2012 at 6:12 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
That is some Sophisti-macated Catology.
WMDKitty (Always growing and learning)
July 7, 2012 at 6:20 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
David Harper beat me to it, but here goes anyway: BAST! Bast has sent Her furry minions into your life!
Ian Andreas Miller
July 7, 2012 at 6:32 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Argumentum ad Feles.
Lofty
July 7, 2012 at 7:13 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
And today I have my new kitty avatar, that’s Oscar the half oriental, who shares our lives with a little brown female kitty which looks much like yours. Our two are currently fire worshipping or lap lying as it’s pretty cold this evening in our wintry bit of Australia.
Must go off and hug a cat or two!
'Tis Himself
July 7, 2012 at 7:21 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Bast? Don’t be silly. It’s obviously Ceiling Cat.
irenedelse
July 7, 2012 at 7:33 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Freyja‘s cats send their love too
Meagen
July 7, 2012 at 9:57 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It is obvious to any observer that aww, lookit teh kitties, so fuzzy and cuuuute.
Banned Atheist
July 7, 2012 at 10:23 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
This argument would’ve worked better, Greta, if you had used OUR kitties, instead. Not that your kitties aren’t cute, and all, but OUR kitties are obviously, by any objective standards, much better examples of perfection.
Let the kitty wars begin!
Grimalkin
July 7, 2012 at 10:49 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Pfft, I am sure there is a perfectly logical explanation for this.
Clearly cats are space aliens that tap into our brains via litter box parasites and read our thoughts in order to project themselves as the most ideal cat possible.
That’s the real reason cats are so insistent that you clean their litter box.
davidct
July 7, 2012 at 10:57 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
GC I was going to write that time has pasted and you argument from Kittens was delusional and as much wishful thinking as belief in Heaven. Then like a good christian you moved the goal posts and used the term Cats in the formal argument. Cheers.
Tracey
July 7, 2012 at 11:59 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Those are some seriously cute cats.
cry4turtles
July 7, 2012 at 12:08 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Oh to be a kitty at Greta and Ingrid’s house. Talk about life in the lap of luxury!
Former Senator Larry Craig
July 7, 2012 at 12:49 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I luvs me some torties.
o/t and just because I stumbled upon it, on the topic of sexism in the gaming world, can anyone explain what the heck this is about?
ER
July 7, 2012 at 12:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Cats have their own belief. They believe the ARE gods.
stevebowen
July 7, 2012 at 2:27 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
You don’t have the whole story unless you can come up with an esh-cat-ology…
carpenterman
July 7, 2012 at 2:34 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Surely Zinnia Jones will have something to say about this…
magistramarla
July 7, 2012 at 3:18 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ahh, but we have the two most perfect cats at our house.
They even have a dog minion who does their bidding and gives up his soft dog bed to them.
The leader is a polydactyl Maine Coon with seven claws on one front paw and six on all the others, resulting in some very useful “thumbs” on both front paws. He is in charge of all things.
His second is a very large Flame Point Siamese with a very sweet and loving personality.
Their minion is a one hundred pound German Shepherd who respects their wishes at all times.
Alyson Miers
July 7, 2012 at 3:54 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It’s also possible that you and Ingrid are such awesome cat-mommies that your kitties act like they’re perfectly suited to you because they know how lucky they are.
northierthanthou
July 7, 2012 at 5:05 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
OBJECTION!!!
You do NOT have the best cats on the planet. My cats Fido, Junkmail, Auto-kitty, and Burp are the best cats on the planet. You may be excused in thinking that yours are the best, but you have been blinded by your love. The objective truth is clearly that my cats are the bestestest.
Harrumph!
Nurse Ingrid
July 7, 2012 at 6:54 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Wow, northierthanthou. Those are some spectacular cat names.
Uncle Glenny
July 7, 2012 at 9:08 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Kitty mind control. There are some humans immune; they’re the ones who don’t like cats.
Al Schroeder
July 7, 2012 at 10:26 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Well, you got the Bast of THAT argument…
Although Schroedinger’s cat thinks you’re only half-right about the Felinthropic Principle.
“Only a few find the way, some don’t recognize it when they do – some… don’t ever want to.”
― The Cheshire Cat
Evan Bettencourt
July 7, 2012 at 11:49 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Wow, I thought I’d heard some of the best kitty names (An orange tabby named Tobiko!) but I think Auto-Kitty might be the hands-down winner.
feline256
July 8, 2012 at 3:21 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Cat in the sun, Cat the fatter, and Cat the holy spitter!
Those are some ADORABLE kitties.
Amanda Marcotte
July 8, 2012 at 9:30 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I find “not liking cats” highly correlated to “having never really gotten to know a cat”. To which I say: How do you know you won’t like it if you don’t try it?
I have to say, Greta, that perhaps your argument would be a bit more convincing if you could explain what good deeds you’ve done to bring this bounty into your life. My cats are pretty cute, but they can also be huge assholes, so clearly the deity likes me a bit less.
Christianne
July 8, 2012 at 1:12 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
This is so great! Speaking as a cat person who often finds her cats teaching her about the divine and who also feels that her cats are the best possible cats she could ever have found in combination with each other, I so appreciate what you’re saying here.
Josie
July 9, 2012 at 12:46 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
So I’m looking at the first 3 pictures. Houdini is unmistakable due to fur colors. Second is a picture of a tabby with a wild, inspired look in her eye. Sounds like Comet. Then a mysterious sphinx-looking closeup – Talisker? But somehow that doesn’t feel right. Review Tabby pix. Decide first has to be Talisker, second Comet. Unable to explain why I think that. Check mouse-over text. Wow, got it right. I’m so pleased to have met the kitties in person.
Kitties are proof, as Ben Franklin said about beer, that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Nurse Ingrid
July 9, 2012 at 3:04 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Josie:
Talisker is recognizable by the white bib and white toes. Comet is just tabby all over with no white spots. So yes, your second guess is the correct one.
I am so delighted that you have met them in person too. You are always so appreciative of our girls!
jeff daniels
July 9, 2012 at 6:02 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
ummm this message is from my kindle. the browser is a bit tricky to use. and i am not sure what i am replying to. nevertheless – the cats are beautiful. i am reading the “angry atheist” book – v good. greetings from england. one thing that gets me fucking angry are the god channels on sky tv. i hate all of that fase sincerity and even more so the deceit. bunch of con artists -all of them. after 5 minutes of that bull crap – nothing better than to get a head rub from our lovely tabby. why do i tune into that stuff ? just to check that it is still on the airwaves.
sarasunshine
July 12, 2012 at 8:29 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
O.O
Argument from kitties is not only purfect, it’s absolutely adorable!
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