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Jul 02 2012

“Lazy? Drunk? Stoned?”

Reason I love my neighborhood, #874,890:

Sandwich board sign in front of the Phat Philly Cheesesteak place:

“Lazy? Drunk? Stoned? We Deliver!”

They know how to cater to their customer base. Lazy, drunk, stoned, any permutation of the above — and proud of it.

18 comments

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  1. 1
    Loqi

    Put me down for “lazy.”

  2. 2
    Amanda

    Do they deliver the PBR too? Someone tried to set up an alcohol delivery service in Sydney but it got shut down. ;-(

  3. 3
    Justin Griffith

    PBR is nasty. Seriously. It’s the soylent green of beer. Still, there’s this:

    Pabst Yellow Ribbon:

  4. 4
    Kitten

    That’s me!

  5. 5
    Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    Justin Griffith:

    It’s the soylent green of beer.

    If I knew more than 10% of my friends would get the reference, I’d start using that straight away.

  6. 6
    craigore

    Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about!

  7. 7
    Eric

    O come now…. Pabst ain’t great, but as American adjunct lagers go, it’s not bad. It has *some* flavor that’s not just ricey.

  8. 8
    maxdwolf

    Sounds good, but I still feel a need to call them out on the Kobe beef bullshit. Nobody in the U.S. actually serves Kobe beef, no matter what they claim. I’m not even sure it would be appropriate for a Philly cheesesteak. As for the PBR, all I have to say is you get what you pay for in this case.

  9. 9
    Rob Major

    Greta, great post. I note that PBR was the brew of choice for Will Ferrell’s alcoholic character in Everything Must Go, which I thought was a daring bit of product placement. Not sure it’s made out of people, but i suppose it’s possible that the Pabst brewery has become a subsidiary of The Soylent Corp.

  10. 10
    Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    PBR is nasty. Seriously. It’s the soylent green of beer.

    It was either a sip of PBR or a sip of Natural Ice that inspired my comment “you’ve heard of ‘not even wrong?’ This shit is ‘not even bad.’”

    Why does “American-Style Lager” *exist*?

  11. 11
    Alex

    Why does “American-Style Lager” *exist*?

    It is an effort to make beer as cheaply as possible; hops are expensive, so American lagers use bugger all hops, while rice and corn are cheaper than barley, so they use them instead. They then make the flavour inoffensive to avoid putting off potential clients, and conveniently, flavourless beer is cheaper to make too.
    Prohibition clearing out the smaller local breweries also helped lower standards so they could push it that far. if you look at Europe or Australia beers similar to American lagers exist, eg fosters or stellar, but due to the local beer production situation they haven’t been able to push the same levels of flavourless-ness.

    Also, American’s have no taste in booze. :P

  12. 12
    Dunc

    Why does “American-Style Lager” *exist*?

    “No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.” [H. L. Mencken]

  13. 13
    Justin Griffith

    “soylent beer is peeeeeeeeeeeee…. people.”

    It’s pee.

  14. 14
    Wes

    I do hope you’re not actually buying anything called a “Philly Cheese Steak.”

  15. 15
    M. A. Melby

    Funny – at my old hang-out, I was sober and at work, and the people delivering my sandwiches were stoned.

  16. 16
    F [is for failure to emerge]

    I note that PBR was the brew of choice for Will Ferrell’s alcoholic character in Everything Must Go, which I thought was a daring bit of product placement.

    See Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet.

    That shit is just an instant hangover in a can.

  17. 17
    Sam Singleton Atheist Evangelist

    Brother Sam is not lazy.

  18. 18
    MarkB

    Wow, perfect score.

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