In these ongoing discussions about what is and is not appropriate flirtatious/ sexual behavior at atheist conferences, there’s an idea that’s been floated. It’s the idea that many women are trained by our culture to “play hard to get,” and act uninterested even if they’re not — since they’re trained that seeming too eager or saying “yes” too quickly is slutty, will result in being disrespected, etc. So therefore, men can’t always tell if women are really interested, and if men aren’t persistent, neither the women nor the men will get what they want.
I have a lot to say on that subject. But for now, I just want to say this.
Compare, on the one hand, the problem of a hostile environment in which many women don’t feel welcome or safe in a community, because of a climate that tolerates sexual predation, or that looks the other way when it happens.
Compare, on the other hand, the problem that some women who don’t want to seem too eager won’t get laid when they might otherwise — and that some men who aren’t persistent in the face of rejection won’t get laid when they might otherwise.
Which do you think is the bigger problem?
UPDATE: This was not supposed to be a hard question.