This is a relatively new development for me. For years, I pretty much only wore makeup for special occasions. I didn’t have anything against it — in fact, I usually thought I looked better with it than without it — but I either didn’t think about it, or I couldn’t be bothered. But in the last couple of years, since fashion and style have become more important to me and since I’ve started being more conscious about using my appearance to express myself, I’ve started wearing makeup every day. I don’t spend huge amounts of time slathering it on or anything: I’ve found my own “five-minute face” routine (a two-minute face, really, consisting entirely of tinted lip balm and eyeliner blended into a bit of shadow). But unless the kitchen is on fire or something, I pretty much never leave the house without makeup.
Again: This is relatively new for me. When I’m doing my two-minute face, I often have little conversations with myself about why this is. And the conclusion I’ve come to is that I just don’t feel like myself without my makeup.
But I realize that this is a little odd. There’s something odd in feeling less like myself when my face has no alterations, and more like myself when I’ve put goo on my eyes and lips. (Especially since, for decades, I felt like myself just fine without the stuff.) So I’ve been thinking about this question: Why do I feel more like myself with makeup?
A lot of it, honestly, is a self-defining circle. Part of who I am these days is someone who cares about fashion and style. Fashion and style are pretty much my main hobbies right now, one of my main forms of art and self-expression. And for women, makeup is a big part of a stylish, put-together look. (The kinds of looks I’m interested in, anyway.) If I have a carefully thought-out look, with clothes and shoes and jewelry, it just doesn’t look finished without makeup. So I feel more like myself with makeup, because I feel more like a person who cares about fashion and style — and caring about fashion and style typically means wearing makeup.
There’s another part to it, though.
I like my lips, but their color is fairly neutral, and it’s very close to the color of my skin. I like my eyes, I think they’re beautiful, but they’re a little small, and the lashes are a little thin. Without some color on my lips, my face looks a little colorless. Without a little emphasis from eyeliner and shadow, my eyes tend to disappear into my face.
And I don’t think of myself as a colorless person. I don’t think of myself as someone whose eyes are hard to catch.
For me, makeup isn’t about covering myself up. It’s about bringing myself out.
I think it’s a mistake to think that “unconscious” or “unintentional” necessarily means “authentic.” Human beings are conscious creatures: it’s part of our nature to reflect, to be self-aware, to think about what we do. I choose my words carefully, so I can most authentically say what I mean. I choose my clothing carefully, so my appearance most authentically reflects how I feel about myself and my place in the world. I choose my actions carefully, so I can be my most authentic self.
And for me, makeup is part of that.
I don’t wear much make-up either. what I do, mostly around the eyes, is just a “highlighter” on what I like about *me*.
Makeup has been new for me in the past three years. After leaving a long-term abusive relationship, I felt so alive and my face didn’t reflect that in the mirror. With a little blush, mascara, and (now) bright lipstick colors- my zest is shown on my face, too. Thanks for writing this, Greta.
When I was little, I pretty accurately pegged the make-up thing as something women did to appeal/appease the male gaze. And I just flat-out refused to wear it. I didn’t see men wearing make-up so that women find them attractive. So my attitude was, if they didn’t like my face the way it was, screw ’em.
I’ve been known to have a bit of a chip on my shoulder. Granted, I think it is entirely justified.
We are giving off messages by the way we dress, like it or not. And the visual vocabulary for women gets ever so much more complicated than it is for men.
I still don’t wear make-up. I’m not saying I won’t, down the road. Aging is a bumpy road for us all. But as my hair has gone gray, I’ve taken to henna. Think of it as a warning flag. See this flash of red and know that I am no pushover.
IMHO, makeup is often a signal that you are especially interested in interacting with the world. It’s social enthusiasm made visible.
And I think a correlative of that is that the impulse to make fun of someone with too much makeup on or who is too “done up,” is closely akin to making fun of someone who is too enthusiastic or too friendly. The cool kids don’t “do” too much in the way of enthusiasm.
I hope you won’t mind me saying so, but from your picture it looks as if you have lovely skin and teeth and I bet bright lipstick looks fab on you! Do you know the website makeupalley.com? It rules.
One of the nice things about moving to New York is that I feel like I can indulge make-up a lot more here. Everything in Austin is so laid back, and putting on a ton of eyeliner is hard to pull off. In NYC, you can do that for the fuck of it.
Hmmm… I’ve never really had an ideological opinion about make up.. but as a guy growing up very much in the “nerd” section of the world–that was probably a pretty easy place to be in.
In any case–I always had female friends who didn’t use make up and those that used a lot. Either way seemed to be cool–and I always just thought it was a matter of personal choice.. at least, that is what I thought SHOULD be the case.. because I didn’t see make-up as being any different than clothes–it was a way that one could choose to define themselves–or not…
Anyway–perhaps this was helped by the fact that I eventually ended up hanging out with a lot of goth/industrial types where make-up not only crossed over into the realm of men’s fashion very strongly–thus blurring any strong gender associations that it might have held (I also eventually acquired my own eyeliners etc.. ), but it was also more strongly associated with the idea that this is a costume that some people want to put on—and that’s fine. For me, every day is Halloween–we all create our identities and often wear masks–not just as a means of hiding–but as means to express ourselves–and make up is merely part of that….
Of course–I could also chatter on about how make up is a fascinating technology–and as a Historian of Technology–I am thoroughly read on the kinds of determinist claims that people make about technologies–that they are “good” or “bad” etc… but while it is true–as Langdon Winner pointed out so long ago… that “Technology has politics”–I’d say that it’s more the case that technology is a vessel that people can imbue with politics–and some technologies make these politics more permanent (such as designing bridges that don’t allow busses on them–thus keeping poor people from using them to get into Manhattan from Queens..)–while others are more flexible and their political content can be altered and disputed and changed…
I think the latter is more the case with make-up. It can be used to enforce various ideological stances–but it can also be used to subvert the same…
Anyway.. interesting post..
Please forgive the constant “make up” instead of “makeup” above.. I need more coffee..
Adding also that if a guy gives me a hard time about wearing makeup, I will not hesitate to point out to him that I think the male equivalent of wearing makeup is shaving.
Shaving/wearing makeup both take time and money and effort.
They are the default mode of appearance in most sectors of our society.
There is absolutely no point to either of them except in a social context. If you don’t do them at least a little, you are making something of a statement. In MOST sectors of our society.
Yup. I never venture outside my door without makeup. I just feel like I look better with it. My 2 minutes of blush, bronze and lipstick is all it takes (so far)!
And shaving can get very involved… Having started shaving again, and after deciding to do the job properly, I must’ve spent a couple of hundred pounds on shaving tackle and accoutrements – and that’s before we get into fragrances and colognes… And I don’t even shave my whole beard.
(Pro-tip: a decent double-edged safety razor costs more initially, but the blades are cheap as chips.)
“Adding also that if a guy gives me a hard time about wearing makeup, I will not hesitate to point out to him that I think the male equivalent of wearing makeup is shaving.”
I’ve never had a girlfriend who wears makeup (or who shaves, for that matter) and I don’t shave (nor do I wear makeup), so I am consistent. 🙂
But for others, of course, different strokes for different folks and whatever floats your boat!
My beloved cousin (who is my fashion inspiration) refers to my eye makeup as “NY black eyeliner I don’t give a fuck”. I never thought I was putting that msg out there. But lately, I want to own that.
PS Greta you are all kinds of awesome lately, between this and the the great great sex worker/prostituted woman series. It’s the full spectrum on this blog.
I always find it interesting the ways people try to make equivalencies between makeup application on women to male hygiene. Facial hair shaving was compared to makeup above in the comments, but women also take care of their facial hair. I have very fine facial hair but still groom my face with a trimmer on a regular basis. These eyebrows don’t stay this shape by nature. Sure, it’s not face shaving, but we can’t ignore the amount of time women also spent on body hair, facial products, and hair supplies. So how is it comparable? I’m still doing much more work on my appearance as a woman than men. Makeup is only one part of that.
My makeup story is opposite of yours, Greta. I wore a lot of makeup for years and slowly over time now wear none. I’m still very much invested in my looks as it’s incredibly difficult to break a lifetime of conditioning that has taught me my worth is related to my looks, but makeup has become a nonexistant part of it.
What set me on this path was working with all men and realizing that they looked totally fine w/o makeup. My husband and all my male friends look totally fine. I started to inspect their faces closesly and look at their pores and skin tone and they looked great. Often even better than women around me with makeup on! They did many things to make themselves look handome and presentable, but wearing nice clothes and coiffing your hair is something I do every day. So why do I wear makeup then? Why am I expected to take that extra step?
And as I wore less and less, I became used to my natural appearance. My skin improved as I was able to slather on moisturizer that before would clump my foundation. My eyes were clearer as no more mascara flakes and eyeshadow creases darkened my eyes. I actually looked BETTER at the end of the day w/o makeup fading and dripping. And I spent a lot less time picking at my face or contemplating it at the mirror as what you see is what you get. Not being fixated on fixing and covering greatly improved my skintone as I touched it less and I had to seek out natural methods like water and sleep to relieve bags and sallow skin.
Again, I still care very much about my appearance and keep my face in order and do glycolic peels and all that. I keep a pot of concealer around for zit emergencies and enjoy putting on a face for outings, but I reject the idea that I have to wear makeup every day to look “normal.” Is it hard sometimes? Do I feel self conscious? Yes, but I remember a story a friend told me of when she shaved her head on a Buddhist pilgrimage as an act of rejecting the obsession with physical appearance and focusing her gaze back on who she was inside. When she came back to America with her shaved head, people either loved it or hated it, but it was not dependent on the person, it was dependent on how she carried herself.
I went through a phase a couple years ago where I shunned everything “feminine” and refused to take part in what I thought society was telling me I should take part in because I was born with a vagina. I only wore sports bras, I stopped shaving everything, I never wore dresses or heels, and I threw out all my makeup. After reaching that end of the spectrum, I bounced back toward the middle of my gender queerness and now enjoy switching between fem and dandy any given day. I started shaving my legs again, but let the pits grow. I kept my short hair, but wore underwire bras again. I like a nice dress sometimes as well as some bright, thick eyeliner. It feels great to finally decide what I want and doing it on my own terms.
I used the same language to describe the sensation. “I feel more like myself.” But sometimes I wonder, as I apply my mascara, if I feel more like myself, or if I just feel more confident because I think others perceive me as more attractive. Is there even a difference?
I, too, used to shun all things femme, like Stephanie. Recently, I’ve begun to realize that hating on femme things because they are feminine is just as bad as doing or wearing them because society tells you so.
Like Greta, I feel more like my expressive self with makeup on. Dark circles run in my family and my insane seasonal allergies make them look worse, especially at this time of the year. I minimize the circles with makeup and look more alert, awake, and happy.
I wear makeup every day to work – primer, base, eyeshadow, eyeliner, blush, mascara and finishing powder. Sounds like a lot but it doesn’t look that way. I would never go to work without makeup on.
On the weekends, however, I usually don’t wear it even in public.
I guess makeup just feels more ‘dressy’ to me.
not germain to the discussion but to get this out to more people
Unite Against the War on Women – rallies in every state capitol April 28th. Yep, tomorrow and I just found out about this.
find your state here: http://unitewomen.org/unite/april-28-events/
[…] Greta Christina talks about her new(ish) relationship with makeup, saying, “… makeup makes me feel more like myself. Makeup makes me feel like someone who’s colorful. Makeup makes me feel like someone who wants to make eye contact. Makeup makes me feel like someone who’s happy to be seen. For me, makeup isn’t about covering myself up. It’s about bringing myself out.” […]
I was taught that a woman was not “well-groomed” without makeup–and I mean heavy base, blush, lipliner, lipstick, mascara and/or false eyelashes, eyeliner, dark circle remover (dark circles under the eyes run in my family), and eye shadow, along with, of course, carefully tweezed eyebrows. Not by my mom, who wore little makeup (but would not go out the door to run to the convenience store for milk without putting on lipstick and changing from slacks or shorts into a dress) but by the girl culture I grew up in.
I never liked it. Hated the feel of it on my face. Hated always having to be careful not to smudge. Never felt I did a good job of making up. As I got older I wore less and less. I finally ended up in a job in which any makeup applied would be found in a ring around the neck of your t-shirt by the end of the day (it is bloody hot in South Texas in the summertime, folks) and quit wearing it except when “dressing up”. Now I don’t wear it at all.
On the other hand, if wearing makeup makes you feel better about yourself, I say, go for it.
I’ve recently started wearing makeup. Part of the reason I decided to give it a try was because I decided that my distaste for things that were stereotypically feminine (makeup, fashion, clothes that actually fit, skirts, pink, etc) was both sexist and a result of my attempting to make myself less attractive to my sexually abusive father. Observation of a Nerd’s post on makeup provided me with a motivating nudge, too.
And I really like it. I think the mascara/eyeliner/eye shadow really emphasizes my eyes, the lipstick makes my incredibly pale lips a different color than my cheeks, the eyebrow enhancer makes my pale eyebrows more like my hair color and less like my forehead color, and the mineral finishing powder helps even out my pale skin (which is prone to getting random splotches of red on it). I feel attractive in a way that I’ve never felt before. It’s really a new and wonderful experience to be able to look in the mirror and think, “Wow, I’m really pretty!” rather than “How can I avoid looking in the mirror?”
I strongly feel that women should not be pressured into wearing makeup. I get incredibly angry when one of those news stories comes out and reveals that some organization is forcing women to wear makeup in order to have a job at said organization (casinos, retailers, etc). But it’s something that I really like to do. That’s why I feel that every woman should decide for herself if she wants to wear it or not, and she should not feel guilty either way.
I’ve always hated the assumption that a woman wearing makeup is doing it for guys, especially when guys think it, and tell me “But you look so pretty without it!” as if their approval is just the only thing I needed to have a self esteem, like they’re saving me from my poor little silly woman brain and my poor little silly woman self esteem. Fuck that! I know I’m pretty without it, but I know I’m pretty with it too, and I’m not looking for anyone else’s approval of my prettiness. I pretty myself strictly so that I can have the pleasure of looking at myself in the mirror and thinking “I look bad ass right now.” I like the way I walk when I know I look good, not by chance, but by my own design and work. Saying you don’t value what I do to make myself look awesome, you’re not only insulting, you’re assuming that you know better how I should present myself to the world. If you think it’s your job to denigrate the work I’ve put into looking the way I want, then you can freaking shove it.
But I have to add, I don’t wear makeup all the time. Only when I’m particularly full of energy and have the time to do it. I think the most important part is that I have a choice, and I feel like that’s a pretty good place to be 🙂
“Human beings are conscious creatures: it’s part of our nature to reflect, to be self-aware, to think about what we do.”
We’re also creatures who use our appearance to reflect who we are: our cultural/group identity, marriage status, gender, age cohort, and so on.
Ever take a look thru a stack of National Geographic magazines? How anyone came to the idea that it is ‘natural’ for human beings to not pay any attention to their appearance is beyond me. (Of course it’s not beyond me, they were just choosing to use their ‘natural appearance’ to signal their allegiance to certain philosophies.) ste[j
oops! “steph”
I’ve worn makeup of some sort every day since junior high school, and I’m in my late 40’s now.
As I have gotten older, I wear less rather than more. Concealer, lip stain, Burt’s Bees lip balm, and mascara are a typical day. Sometimes I add foundation (for the SPF and also if my skin looks ruddy; I have allergies), eye shadow (generally a neutral brown), and eye pencil. In the summertime, I add loose powder for the T-zone to cut down on shine.
I’ve never worn makeup to please or attract men. I’ve worn it for me. I have blonde eyelashes which are invisible without mascara, and as you said, my lips are the same color as my face which makes me look the way makeup artists make actresses look ‘ill’ in movies, lol. I don’t care for a totally beige face.
I love makeup! I have fairly clear skin and a natural “blush” look, so I usually only wear a good lipstick or gloss and mascara. I adore lipstick, and I hardly ever leave the house without some on. I have shades for every outfit and time of day. For me, I like the way it changes my face and emphasizes the features I like best. It makes me feel confident.
I went through a phase (after reading a lot of feminist literature) where I felt guilty for liking makeup and high-heels. I’ve come to a place where I acknowledge that heels and makeup are hardly feminist, but that’s okay. I don’t *have* to wear heels and makeup, and when I don’t want to, I don’t. But I enjoy picking out cute outfits, matching my shoes to my purse (I’m an old-fashioned girl) and painting my lips before I leave.
Greta, thanks for posting this! As someone having gone through almost every phase of makeup wearing for everything from professional to personal reasons, I agree. “I feel more like myself with makeup, because I feel more like a person who cares about fashion and style ”
In the end makeup is a statement about who you are inside and how you want that person to be seen on the outside. Personally, I like to look fresh, a bit colorful, and be able to play with light and color in different ways. As a former sex worker I have taken makeup back from the meaning that it had for me when I was “in the business”, and it is no longer a means of improving or validating my worth. It is something that I do for myself, a tool I can use to be the girl next door or the chanteuse at the back of a smoky bar. It is my weapon, my shield, and my banner of freedom that I fly every day.
Keep blogging sister!
Lou
This one definitely made me think. For the most part I dislike makeup, and have usually only worn it when participating in a wedding, or when I went to prom. So in the past decade I’ve worn makeup a total of three times.
I don’t like how it feels, I don’t like that I can smudge it with a careless gesture and I never put it on right because I was never taught how because I was never interested in learning as a youngster. Still not terribly interested.
And for the most part, I also didn’t need it. My lips are naturally colorful and because the top lip is a slightly paler color than the bottom, I have had people ask if I’m wearing makeup, and to tell them what lipstick I’m using. My eyes are large with naturally dark lashes, under dark eyebrows (bushy, natural eyebrows. Love my eyebrows) so I don’t need to do anything to enhance them. Those are actually my best features. Aside from those, I’m rather average. And happily so.
I might get into it more, though, because I’m prone to hormonal pimples. As those levels rise and fall throughout the month, I have massive breakouts for a couple weeks. It’s annoying and embarrassing. But the feel of foundation…. O_<
I’ve worn makeup my adult life, although I wear a whole lot less than I did when I was younger. I think I grew into the face I’d been painting all along, so much of the paint ceased to be useful.
I still have a habit of coordinating lip color to the basic palette of my outfit for the day, and this has led to a discovery. Folks respond to me radically differently depending on the lip color I’m sporting. Specifically, when I’m wearing a strong red lip color. I’ve come to term these strong reds “Don’t Fuck With Me” Reds. Mechanics don’t rip me off, shop personnel are more polite, I influence discussions where I am accustomed to being ignored. People give way on the sidewalk.
Now before you presume I behave differently when wearing DFWM Red, I will tell you I’ve really tried to control for that. My makeup is otherwise applied identically day to day; I don’t change foundation, liner, shadow, or mascara. I never give my face a thought once the makeup is done, regardless of the lip-shade I’m sporting. I never touch it up, I don’t carry a mirror. I live behind my face, and these different responses to me surprise me. Or they used to. Now I make it a point to wear a DFWM Red if I think I’m going to be in a situation in which Not Fucking With Me will be handy.
Okay, so maybe now it’s a bit self-fulfilling. Still: Red lipstick inspires unusual response.
hmm this made me think too. I don’t wear make-up and I think I’ve always been fairly judgmental of those who do (feeling that they are more superficial, shallow, conventional, etc). This is an unfair judgment and also not useful to the world we live in, where attractiveness is a huge advantage in every realm.
I never set out to be a non-makeup wearer. I dabbled like most other girls through middle school and high school, but somehow it faded off in college and I never missed it.
Maybe it is time to bite the bullet and try makeup again. After all many other niceties that used to seem phony and irritating to me (eg small talk, smiling a lot, expensive hair cuts) are now valuable and meaningful for me.
I’ll contribute (as a former non-makeup wearer) that I have only started wearing it regularly now that I’ve discovered mineral makeup without bismuth. It doesn’t feel like much of anything is on my face and it actually looks good! By contrast, scary liquid foundations always made me look a funny color and made me feel like I had a coating of stuff on my face. (Perfectly accurate, but not a nice feeling to me.)
For me, finding a makeup that makes me feel “like myself” has included thinking through feminism, comfort, convenience, and a desire not to put insecticide on my lips. I am a scientist rather than a hippie, which only makes it clearer that there is some scary sh*t in makeup. I want to spend money on businesses I support, which contribute to society and don’t pollute too much in either an environmental or media sense.
I suffer from Rosacea (adult acne), which gets worse when I use makeup. (It even objects to sunscreen.) I wear bottlecaps (okay, they’re thinner now than when I was a kid — better technology– but I still can’t see to use eye makeup without them, and with them on they get in the way). I reflexively chew off lipstick. I’m a makeup dropout!
I make up for it with flashy eyeglass frames. 🙂
So I admire women who use makeup effectively. But after a long battle, I finally admitted I’m not one of them. And it’s actually okay!
One of the things I enjoy about makeup is that you can play with colors and looks in a pretty visible way. It’s a fun way to express different moods. I have some dark spots resulting from my pregnancy a few years ago, so I like to use some concealer for that, but I’m not so self-conscious about it that I won’t go out on the weekends au naturel.
Makeup seems a lot like other adornments we indulge in, such as jewelry, and I don’t like to read social issues into it. It’s perhaps a little bit of willful blindness, but it’s just another way for us to make an effort for each other, another tool in the arsenal of making nice for society. And a fun one.
Not that this means women shouldn’t wear makeup, but as a guy I really don’t like makeup on women. In the past few years I’ve seen a female friend go from wearing near no make up to some, and while it certainly doesn’t make her look bad, I can’t help but think to myself “she’d look so much better without any of that”.
I’m very fortunate that my wife doesn’t wear any of her own accord, and knows exactly how much it bothers me and avoids it almost entirely.
I also don’t like being kissed by women with lipstick, and I don’t like having to kiss lips or a cheek that has makeup on it.
Of course my preferences mean absolutely nothing outside of my relationship with my wife where we know and respect each others views on how we present ourselves. I just wanted to throw this out there.
To me, wearing makeup has all the appeal of wearing a burqa. Actually, it has less since I’m allergic to quite a lot of makeup and at least a burqa wouldn’t make my eyes water and itch.
I have no opinion on other people wearing makeup at all, except that they should wear it if it makes them happy and not wear it if it doesn’t. At the same time, I can’t help but feel like there is a subtle message in the post that everyone should wear or want to wear makeup. Maybe there’s a subtle hint in my comment that no one should? I think this comes down to one of the basic problems of being female which is that we’re taught from birth that we must, at all costs, get along with and please others so that no comment on how we do things differently can help but feel like a criticism of the other.
I never wore make up in high school, and it never bothered me. It just wasn’t me. I actually started wearing it on holidays one year because my traveling companion would take so long to get ready that I needed something to do to stave off the boredom. I actually enjoy playing with the colours (of eyeshadow and eyeliner in particular), deciding what best goes with an outfit or with my mood, mimicking certain historical looks, etc.
What I do hate is the cosmetic industry insisting that no face is complete without fifteen billion layers of cosmetics, or offers of salespeople to find me the perfect foundation while at the same time telling me that I have pretty flawless skin. But I don’t see why objecting to that means I have to reject makeup wholesale. It’s like, I don’t like the way that a girl version of every boy toy exists in pink, but I still like the colour pink. It’s a matter of making informed decisions.
Being an atheist, my sister sent me the article about religion always getting a free ride. I loved the article, and went to the blog for more. What a surprise to find an entry about wearing makeup. I’ve read most of the comments and find it hard to believe the women who wear it are wearing it just for themselves. Who would want to spend precious time putting chemical mixtures on their face? If makeup makes one look so much better, why aren’t the men wearing it in droves? There’s only one reason to spend the money and time on makeup and that’s because the person feels “not good enough” without putting a mask on. I’ve never worn it and over the years have had many men tell me they wish their wives/girlfriends wouldn’t wear it either. I think there’s much more going on than just thinking it’s a fun thing to do.
[…] I wear make-up because I want to. So there. Thanks to Greta for posting about this! […]
I also love playing with makeup! I like using it to create a look or a mood. I especially love playing with various eyeshadows and lip colors. Most of the time I go for strong colors or bold applications, and my face changes every day depending on my mood and the occasion. I also don’t feel (and don’t think anyone else should feel) that I need to wear makeup to leave the house, or that I NEED to wear certain products. Except for sunscreen, skin cancer and all that. I rarely wear heavy foundation unless it’s a special occasion. Hence, I’ll leave the house wearing anything from sunscreen and chapstick to simple black eyeliner to a blacky smokey eye or red lips, depending on how I feel and the mood I want to create.