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Trying Anything Twice

Please note: This piece, and the piece it links to, discusses my personal sex life in a fair amount of detail. Family members and others who don’t want to read about that, please don’t.

Number 2I have a new piece up on the Blowfish Blog. It’s about sexual experimenting and trying new things… and why it’s so important to try new things more than once before we give up on them. It’s called Trying Anything Twice, and here’s the teaser:

When it comes to sex, first times are, to put it mildly, often not the best indicator of how things are going to turn out. For one thing, first times are often done when we’re young, when most of us don’t have much information about sex, and aren’t that comfortable talking about it, and are kind of just fumbling around in the dark.

Maybe more to the point: We have this idea that sex should be natural and easy… but it isn’t. Not good sex, anyway. Good sex takes practice. (Especially the more, shall we say, complicated forms of sex.) The first time doing something sexual is often more about figuring out how to do it than it is about the actual doing. It can take at least one more try — one time when you’re not spending the whole afternoon figuring out what goes where and how hard — before you can even begin to gauge whether this is something you like, or simply isn’t as much fun for you in reality as it is in fantasy.

To find out more about sticking with sexual experiments, read the rest of the piece. Enjoy!

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