I have a new piece up on the Blowfish Blog. It’s about the first time I ever went to an orgy; how it came about; and what I learned from the experience. The piece is called My Very First Orgy, and What I Learned There, and here’s the teaser:
There is nothing quite like walking into a dorm room with six naked people having sex together in a pile on the floor. Especially when one of them is your boyfriend. I had a brief moment of — well, “shock” is too strong a word, let’s call it “sudden adjustment” or “category error” — as the reality of the situation was rather crudely borne in on me. Then I decided, “What the fuck, this is what I’m here for,” hurriedly shucked my clothes, and joined in.
And I learned two very important life lessons: lessons that stay with me to this day.
To find out more about the pile of naked bodies on the floor and the important life lessons I learned there (no, really!), read the rest of the piece. Enjoy! (Oh, and if you decide to comment on this post in this blog, would you consider cross-posting your comment on the Blowfish Blog as well? They like comments there, too.)
(Cross-posted.)
Life lesson the first:
It is a somewhat dispiriting experience to find yourself, on St. Valentine’s of all days, the seventh person in an orgy made for six.
Life lesson the second:
I will probably never be as enthusiastic about any political figure as the (perhaps godless?) young woman who in a moment of passion called out, âOh, oh, OH — OBAMA!â
Life lesson the third:
Sexual orientation might not matter so much when you consider yourself basically undateable and discover that youâre enough of a stand-alone that youâre only occasionally angsty about it, but damn, doubling the enjoyment of a James Bond movie is awfully nice.
Cross posted:
I would have been this best friend. I had an opportunity in college for a three-way (the only one so far) with a former and current girlfriend. They were both eager, but I declined because I had to take the Graduate Record Exam the next day.
To this day, I still wish Iâd taken them up on the offer. I did really shitty on the GRE, and Iâm sure that I would remember every detail of that encounter 20 years later.
Obviously, you weren’t paying your own way through college. You were leeching off someone else, hence the self-indulgence and decadence. It is self-terminating.
Actually, heuristic: I know for a fact that at least one person who was working his way through college was at that orgy. I know because it was my boyfriend.
As for myself: My college education was mostly paid for with insurance money from my mother’s death. My parents insured my college education in the event that one of them should die… and my mother died when I was 17. So fuck you.
Just when I thought I had seen all the dumb arguments in the world, “heuristic” comes along with a new one. Congratulations! “You had sex you actually enjoyed; therefore, you didn’t have a job.”
Fuck the heck?
Or, better still, you didn’t pay for your education, therefore it was wasted on you. Which is ironic because personally, I’d consider someone who did nothing but work and study during their university years to have wasted them.