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The Sex Meditation Commune at 7 A.M.

Please note: This piece discusses my personal sexuality and sex life. Family members and others who don’t want to read about that stuff, please don’t read this.

So blog reader sav was kind enough to send me this article, which she thought — rightly so — I would find fascinating.

HandIt’s a piece in the New York Times, titled The Pleasure Principle, about a new age commune in San Francisco, One Taste, dedicated to female sexuality… including a form of female- centered group spiritual practice called “deliberate orgasm” or “orgasmic meditation.”

I realize that this article should be fertile ground for me. I should be able to gas on for days about the unsettling connection between woo spirituality and the sex- positive movement. Or about the assumption of heterosexuality in this particular practice. Or, indeed, about the apparent inability of the New York Times to write anything at all about sex without snickering. I may yet do one or all of these things.

But at the moment, I’m finding that I just can’t get past this sentence:

At 7 a.m. each day, as the rest of America is eating Cheerios or trying to face gridlock without hyperventilating, about a dozen women, naked from the waist down, lie with eyes closed in a velvet- curtained room, while clothed men huddle over them, stroking them in a ritual known as orgasmic meditation — “OMing,” for short.

Pertinent phrase: “At 7 a.m.”

At 7 a.m.?

AT 7 A.M.?!?!?

Each day?

Are you fucking kidding me?

SunriseAt 7 a.m., Ingrid can barely drag me out of bed to help medicate the cat. At 7 a.m., I’ve had maybe five or six hours of sleep. On a good night. On a less good night, I’ve had three or four. And even if I’ve been a good girl and gotten to bed at a reasonable hour instead of staying up ’til two writing porn, I am never, ever, ever interested in sex at seven in the morning. I am barely interested in life at seven in the morning. I think the only times I’ve ever had sex at seven in the morning have been times when I’ve been up all night. And while a seven a.m. bonk can be a lovely thing at the end of an all- nighter or an acid trip… well, sadly or blessedly, my days of all- nighters and acid trips are now behind me.

I won’t deny that the thought of being in a room with a dozen other women, with a dozen men fondling our genitals and focusing devotedly on our arousal and orgasm, does have a certain appeal. But the thought of it happening at seven in the morning fills me with unholy dread. And the thought of it happening at seven in the morning every day makes me want to run screaming into the night. The beautiful, beautiful night. More than anything else in this article (which, admittedly, was about as trustworthy as anything else the Times writes about sex, which is to say not very much at all), this single fact has convinced me that this organization is, to put it mildly, not for me.

Smiling sun7 a.m.

They have got to be fucking kidding.

Comments

  1. says

    This one made me laugh. Partly because as a father of two, 8.00am is a luxurious sleep-in. Apart from illness, I haven’t slept past 6.00am for almost 4 years now.
    All that aside, you might want to try it once. You might just find that an orgasm at 7.00 am is a delicious way to wake yourself up, and it puts a completely different feeling on the rest of your day, let alone you morning.

  2. says

    … 7 a.m.?
    I would be so miserable. And I tend to be less sensitive in the mornings anyway, just because I’m so miserable.
    7 a.m.? Is sexual woo only for morning birds, for pete’s sake?

  3. Quinapalus says

    roffles @ “the beautiful, beautiful night.”
    But you’re missing the point, or at least deferring it to the promised gassing-on about “woo spirituality” (more roffles) and what people have apparently stopped calling “tantric sex”. Which is that it isn’t sex, qua pair-(or-triple-or…)-bonding, let’s-get-it-on sex. It’s a meditation practice. A below-the-waist one, but otherwise no different from the yoga you would be doing at ungodly hours in any other ashram. So if those ashrams and that yoga wouldn’t be for you, neither would this.
    (Not personally involved, but I see what they’re getting at.)

  4. Kelly says

    This seems a little cultish and looks like a money making scheme. I wonder how much participants are charged to live in the commune? I’d love to know how much money the owners make.
    And who would be stupid enough to pay for something that she could do herself every morning (or whenever) for free? I “meditate” whenever I need to. It doesn’t cost me a thing and I always feel better during and afterwards. I don’t do it on a regular schedule, though. Organization isn’t my thing.
    And cults aren’t my thing. *shiver*

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  6. Josie says

    Pertinent phrase: “At 7 a.m.”
    At 7 a.m.?
    AT 7 A.M.?!?!?
    Each day?
    Are you fucking kidding me?

    rofl
    This pretty much sums up my reaction as well, as the ONLY time I see 7am voluntarily is when I’ve stayed up all night reading. What is wrong with noon, or 7pm, or even better, midnight?
    Besides the fact that sex makes me too lazy to do anything afterward for a good couple of hours, I am really getting sick of the societal idea that good people, industrious people get up at the crack of dawn, and only lazy slackers are night owls that like to sleep in in the morning.

  7. Ainuvande says

    I’m with you, Greta. Part of the reason I don’t work an office job is that I don’t wake up well. And I pity Chad, the first commenter. Now I know why, for all my antics, I was an “easy” child. Even then, I was most awake and lucid in the afternoons/evenings, and preferably asleep in the morning.
    7am. for ritualized orgasm. With other people. I don’t communicate pre-breakfast. So utterly not for me.

  8. says

    I’m with you. I have one lover who works very early hours and I love it when he rolls over on me for a quick bonk, but we don’t bother to come at that time, preferring to wait until later, when we’re both more awake and can take more time. He goes to work and, most importantly, I go back to sleep!
    OT is a descendent organization from Morehouse University, a cult of personality if ever there was one (if one is from the SF Bay Area, one might recall the MHU houses painted purple, a signature color). I had a few encounters with the MHU “mark groups,” and was skeeved out by them, even as I understood that they might be on to something.

  9. says

    I love that you sidestepped the political woo-woo heat by commenting on the time of day these women are “enlightened”. I am more a middle of the day person myself, and would become a very angry being if I were expected to participate in anything sexual at that time of day.
    One Taste is a brilliant example of why I do thorough research about organizations and people that offer advice and guidance, especially when it concerns sexuality. I’ll admit Northern CA has some serious “new-age/alternative” vibes happening. Some of it is fantastic and some can be down right damaging or manipulative. The key is to do some research, and find out what is right for you, and not follow others blindly.
    I have heard lots of rumors and opinions of One Taste, but I have no facts, although that small detail didn’t stop the New York Times from running the article, shame on them for not being professional and balanced in their reporting. That article read like an advertisement and not a journalistic piece.
    I have never been a participant in any of the One Taste workshops or commune style houses. I have talked to a few people who have, which is more than enough for me to know it isn’t for me.
    Enough said.

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