I Do — And Why: The Blowfish Blog

Ring_2Remember about a week ago, when the California Supreme Court same-sex ruling came out? I was all a-twitter with girlish glee and didn't know what to say, but said I'd say more later?

This is later.

I have a new piece up on the Blowfish Blog. It's about why we want to get married — not civil- unioned, not domestic- partnered, but married. It's about why we'd want that even if all the legal and financial and other practical questions were a moot point. And it's about what same-sex marriage in California will change for us… and what it won't. It's called I Do — And Why, and here's the teaser:

But I want to talk about something else today. I don't want to talk about the legal and practical benefits of marriage. I don't want to talk about hospital visitation rights, child custody rights, inheritance rights, tax benefits, all that good stuff. That's all important, but it's also well-covered ground.
I want to talk about something more intangible. I want to talk about why we're getting married… apart from all that.

To find out why, read the rest of the piece. Enjoy!


  1. says

    Now if only Angelina Jolie would come out and profess her love for me it would all be complete! I loved your article too…but I still love AJ..

  2. says

    Congratulations, and well said.
    From a heterosexual point of view, there’s a tremendous advantage to same-sex marriage being recognised as well. As long as Marriage Is Between A Man And A Woman, in effect, straight people are co-opted on the basis of their sexuality into an institution that’s being used to oppress their fellow-citizens. And that sucks. I like the idea of getting married, I don’t like the idea of treating gay people as not-full-citizens, and I don’t like to feel that by doing one, I’ll be tacitly participating in the other. (I’m not such a martyr that I’d refuse to marry until gay marriage is legalised all over – there are better ways to make your point, and that would inconvenience no one but me and my partner – but I’d be much happier if my gay friends could marry too. Then marriage could be one happy party for all of us.)
    Because, in the end, hetero-only marriage insults all of us. It insults gay people most, of course, but it’s insulting to heteros too. I want the right to marry because I’m an adult and a citizen, not because my personal tastes happen to tend towards a lifestyle of which traditionalists approve. I don’t want my rights to be dependent on my orientation. I want the right to marry a woman if I wish, even if I never avail myself of it; that recognises the free choice I make if I marry a man.
    Turning marriage into a let’s-exclude-the-queers club degrades it. It’s high time the law recognised that gay and bi people are citizens too.
    I wish you and your dear wife a long and happy marriage. :-)

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