I have a new piece up on the Blowfish Blog. It’s about the question of how we define sex… and why that question has serious, real-world consequences. It’s titled, Does (X) Count?” What Sex Is, And Why The Question Matters, and here’s the teaser:
It was a letter to Scarleteen, the âsex advice for teenagersâ website. Itâs a longish letter, and a longer response (both are well worth reading in their entirety), but the title will immediately tell you whatâs going on and why I think itâs important.
âWeâre abstinent, but we had anal sex and are scared to death.â
The story is almost exactly what you probably think it is. Two teenagers, who have decided to be abstinent until marriage, are playing an extended game of âeverything but,â avoiding penis- in- vagina intercourse but otherwise engaging in activities that would make Larry Flynt blush. Including, as you may have guessed from the title of the letter, anal sex.
But because theyâre not having what they consider Sex â namely, penis- in- vagina intercourse â theyâre not taking responsibility for the fact that theyâre in a sexual relationship. Theyâre not practicing safer sex, and the things theyâre doing could easily result in the passing on of sexually transmitted diseases, and even pregnancy. (As the Scarleteen advisor points out, unprotected anal intercourse can result in pregnancy, since semen isnât very good about staying put.)
To find out more about this notion of the One True Sex and how it screws up people’s sex lives, read the rest of the piece. Enjoy!