I have a new piece up on the Blowfish Blog. It’s about a trope I see sometimes in monogamous relationships: namely, jealousy over your partner’s friends, when those friends might, in theory, based solely on their sexual orientation, be sexually attracted to your partner. (Jealousy of straight men or lesbians, for instance, when your partner is a woman.)
The piece is titled Jealousy, Friendship, And Bisexual Chopped Liver. And while I do talk about jealousy and possessiveness in relationships, it’s not the main thrust. The main thrust is on this topic:
So what are we bisexuals â chopped liver?
According to this theory, bisexuals could never, ever have any friends at all. We couldnât be friends with gay men, straight men, straight women, lesbians. And we definitely couldnât be friends with other bisexuals. According to this theory, the fact that weâre attracted to both women and men makes us ineligible to be friends with anybody, of any gender, ever.
No, thatâs not quite true. We could be friends with non-monogamous people, and with single people. But once those single get into monogamous relationships â blammo. Thatâs the end of that friendship.
Iâm not just writing this to point up the stupidity and irrationality of this particular form of jealousy. Iâm writing it to point up the stupidity and irrationality of bisexual invisibility.
To find out more of my musings on jealousy, possessiveness, and the contorted logic created by bisexual invisibility, read the rest of the piece, Enjoy!