I have a new piece up on the Blowfish Blog. It’s a piece I’m unusually proud of; I like all the work I do for the Blowfish Blog, but this one has been turning over in my head for a long time, and I’m very glad to finally have finished it. It’s on how hard it can be to understand that other people genuinely enjoy sexual things than we ourselves don’t — and why it’s so important for us to try. It’s called Sexual Perspective, or, How Can You Eat That?, and here’s the teaser:
I think it’s always hard to really, truly grasp that other people’s tastes are different from your own. Especially when it comes to strong, emotional, visceral experiences. Myself, I am utterly baffled by the fact that anyone on this earth would voluntarily eat broccoli. The stuff tastes like concentrated essence of vileness to me, and the thought of people voluntarily putting it in their mouths makes me recoil.
Food, music, sex: all of these are powerful, visceral, intensely personal, even overwhelming experiences. And it’s very hard to step back from them and have perspective on how other people might feel about them. Our own feelings about them can be so intense, so all-encompassing, that it makes perspective difficult, even counter-intuitive.
But when it comes to food and music, we have years of experience to teach us perspective. People talk about their musical and culinary tastes loudly, proudly, in great detail and at great length. You often can’t get people to shut up about it. We’re exposed to a wide variety of musical and culinary tastes almost every day of our lives.
To find out why we don’t learn perspective with sexual tastes the way we do with tastes in food and music — and why learning sexual perspective is so important — read the rest of the piece. Enjoy!