Carnival of the Godless #85: The Dirty Version

Carnival_of_the_godlessWelcome to the 85th edition of the Carnival of the Godless! And welcome to what I believe is a first in the history of this Carnival.

Welcome to the Carnival of the Godless: The Dirty Version. (And yes, there is a clean version, for those who prefer their atheist blogging pure and wholesome.)

When I signed up to host the Valentine’s Day edition of Carnival of the Godless, I had a grand scheme for writing an actual dirty story, incorporating concepts and quotes from all the posts in the Carnival. But I soon realized that that would have been a very large project indeed; and besides, I’m not sure how appropriate it would have been to work a porn story around the item on the Down syndrome suicide bombers.

So instead, in an attempt to be only marginally inappropriate instead of wildly inappropriate, I have taken the regular Carnival… and lovingly and painstakingly illustrated it with raunchy pulp fiction cover art. I have, in fact, made every effort to make the illustrations relevant to the posts, or at least not glaringly irrelevant. (And if you think it’s easy finding a vintage pulp fiction cover to illustrate a blog post about Tacitus, you’ve got another think coming.) Enjoy!

Pagan_lesbiansFrom The Headsman at Executed Today: 1512: Hatuey, defied Spanish colonization. An account of the execution of the Taino Indian cacique Hatuey, a resistor of Spanish colonialism both political and religious. “They have a God whom they greatly adore and love; and to make us adore Him they strive to subjugate us and take our lives.” Alas, as The Headmans points out, “Hatuey had a trenchant critique. The Spanish had the guns.”

Night_clubFrom James Grant at James Grant’s Livejournal: Speaking from the mount, Drunk. We have been lied to from birth, and other words of wisdom. James Robin, who sent the link, summarizes it thus: “He says he was drunk when he wrote this. Me? I say he’s speaking with a clarity we should all enjoy.”

Sin_alleyFrom Black Sun at Black Sun Journal: Morality: Neither Scripture Nor Nihilism. I’d try to sum it up, but the title is more descriptive than any summary I could come up with.

Satan_was_a_lesbianFrom Dave McRitchie at The View from Here: Possessed by demons? Satan got ya? Who ya gonna call? The answer? The Catholic Church. Sez Dave: “The Vatican has recently ordered bishops to form teams of priests in each diocese trained to fight demonic possession.” Recently. As in the 21st century.

Time_trapFrom The Whited Sepulchre: Downs Syndrome Victims and Victims of God’s Will. The Sepulchre discusses the recent Baghdad suicide bombing — or, more accurately in this case, homicide bombing — in which the bombers strapped explosives to two women with Down syndrome and detonated the explosives by remote control. Mr. Sepulchre asks, “If there is a Higher Power who is going to split humanity into eternal heaven and eternal hell categories, not for actions but for beliefs, are there any crimes in support of these beliefs that can’t be justified?”

Sin_hipsterAnd from The Whited Sepulchre again: People are going to hell. This time, The Sepulchre talks about the Christian notion of hell — and the disconnect of believing it, and yet not devoting the entirety of your life to saving people from it. “If a house was on fire and you knew that there were children inside that you could safely remove from the burning house, would you not do everything in your power to get the kids out? Would inconvenience be an adequate excuse? Lack of training? Not feeling ‘called’ to be a fireman?”

BusybodiesFrom A.C. Chase at Alexander the Atheist: God of the Gaps, Ignorance. In which Alexander admits that he doesn’t know everything
 and presents this as a strength rather than a weakness. And he points out that, as frustrating as the phenomenon can be for non-believers, “this ‘God of the Gaps’ is a direct response to the efforts of science and logic, which have been chipping away at the power of both God and religion for hundreds of years.”

FleshFrom Christian at Free Thinking Joy: Top 5 false mental ties. Religion as mental bondage — the non-consensual kind.

Twisted_pathFrom Ion Zwitter at Avant News: God Contrite About “Collateral Damage” in Huckabee Tornado Smite Attempt. And again, the title speaks for itself.

Passion_sauceFrom CAE at VWXYNot?: Holy Penne, Batman. On pasta inspired by the Holy Scripture.

Dwellers_in_the_mirage_2From Mike White, at Life According to Mike White: Beyond the Senses. The Eucharist, and other beliefs that contradict reason and the senses. Mike sez: “With any form of religious belief there is a situation in which an individual must go beyond the senses in order to gain the spiritual satisfaction they are looking for. Irrationality cannot be an option behind belief.”

Love_for_saleFrom Holly Ord at Menstrual Poetry: What the Religious Right Wants, the Religious Right Gets. Breathe easy, everyone — the words “In God We Trust” will soon be larger and more readable on U.S. coins. Sez Holly: “And here I thought that the main point of money was to exchange them for goods or services, not to parade what religion a country is trying to shove down the throats of its citizens.”

Sin_in_spaceFrom No More Mr. Nice Guy!: Ding Dong The Wicked God is Dead. With no God, what is the alternative to absolute morality? How do we avoid arbitrariness? NMMNG says that ethics need not be imposed top-down; they can develop from the bottom up. In other words, ethics evolved.

All_topFrom Spanish Inquisitor: Christian Perception. On the question of the historical Jesus. More specifically, on debates over the question of the historical Jesus. Even more specifically, on the large disconnect between what atheists and theists perceive when they read the same thing.

Girls_out_of_hellFrom Dale at faith in honest doubt: Ghosts Con Carne. If demonic possession were real, wouldn’t it undercut the concept of free will — both ethically and legally? Sez Dale: “This is one of the many areas where the non-overlapping magisteria approach is revealed as the piece of wishful thinking it is.”

Detective_magazineFrom Tom Foss at Dubito Ergo Sum: What Kind of God Would You Be? Laws of physics be damned — if you were an omnipotent being, what would you do? Eliminate suffering? Manwiches from Heaven? Snow in the summer? Tom considers all these possibilities, and more.

Black_opiumFrom Mental Gymnastics at An Insane Existence: Doubly Scrutinized: The Black Atheist. On trying to be a freethinker in the African-American community… and an African-American in the freethinker community.

How_cheap_can_you_getFrom The 327th Male: Oh shit, I’ve been giving theists money. On trying to be an atheist in the grocery store… and at the breakfast table. Mr. Male tries to “ensure the separation of church and my money.”

Lust_in_orbitFrom Kylie Sturgess at PodBlack Blog: Astro-God, Astro-God? The Amazing Astro-God!! On the new manga bible… and why Noah made the cut but the Sermon on the Mount didn’t. And why it all reminds Kylie of the LOLcat Bible…

Sinful_lifeFrom Andrew Leahey of Ash Wednesday, Eggs and Abortion. If an embryo is a human being, then why can Catholics eat eggs at Lent? A less weird question than you might think.

Coming_of_the_ratsFrom SHUFFL: Praise the Lord and pass the sunscreen and gasmasks, its a bunch of religious nut-job global warming deniers. Totally self-explanatory title — what more could I add?

Midtown_queenFrom Buffy at The Gaytheist Agenda: There are none so blind as those who choose to see only their POV. On Texas governor/ religious right winger Rick Perry, hotly defending the Boy Scouts’ official homophobia against the wicked depradations of the ACLU. And why Perry seems to understand both organizations so poorly.

Sin_on_wheelsFrom Stephen Thomas at Rational Apologetics: Prayer to God Doesn’t Work. On… well, on why prayer to God doesn’t work. With many well-marshalled arguments, and a nifty video about worshiping milk jugs.

Satan_was_a_manFrom vjack at Atheist Revolution: America’s Evolution Denial. More Americans believe in the devil than Darwin. Why is this important, what causes it, and what can we in the reality-based community do about it?

Lsd_lustersFrom Kelly O’Connor at The Atheist Response: Humans Do Not Need to Comfort Themselves With Fairy Tales. A response to the argument that people need religion… regardless of whether it’s true. “Atheism is not the destruction of the quest for meaning — it is the necessary starting point for the journey.”

Mother_truckersFrom A.C. Chase again at Alexander the Atheist: Why Mike Huckabee Hates America. Quote: “These are all positions that Huckabee takes in his hatred of America: he hates civil rights, he hates states’ rights, he hates homosexuals and he hates our secular Constitution, which has been good enough to sustain our country for centuries but now does not meet Huckabee’s religious standards.”

All_kinds_lovingFrom C. L. Hanson at Letters from a broad…: Who is the s
exiest atheist blogger?
. A poll to gather opinions on the most pressing and controversial question in the atheosphere today. (Your Carnival host is one of the nominees, so modesty forbids me from saying much about this piece. Except to point out that I am, after all, hosting the first ever Dirty Version of the Carnival of the Godless. I’m just sayin’, is all…)

Muscle_boyFrom Ron Britton at Bay of Fundie: Love Letter from Mike. Ron analyzes a fundraising letter from Mike Huckabee… with a chainsaw. “If Huckabee truly cared about any of us, he never would have entered the race.”

Sinners_gameFrom Alonzo Fyfe at Atheist Ethicist: The Ultimatum Game. Humanist ethics. On the ultimatum game, and why it actually is reasonable, even self-interested, to reward fairness and punish unfairness in others… even if it means making personal sacrifices.

Bogus_loverAnd again from Alonzo at Atheist Ethicist: On Scouts and Lies. Is it morally acceptable for an atheist to lie about their atheism — and to teach their children to do the same — to gain advantage or balance the scales in a situation where theists have an unfair upper hand?

Play_roughFrom The Ridger at The Greenbelt: I’ll make up for it, okay? Why God cares enough about the Super Bowl to kill the quarterback’s mother. No, I am not making this up, and neither is The Ridger.

Avon_14From The Philosophy of the Socratic Gadfly: Tacitus: Accurate guide to early Roman Christianity, or not? A critical look at Tacitus’ comment that Claudius expelled the Jews from Rome because of disturbances on account of “a certain Christ.”

Harlot_in_her_heartAnd finally, from your charming hostess herself, Greta Christina here at Greta Christina’s Blog: The Content of Their Character: Judging On the Basis Of Beliefs. Supposedly it’s not right to judge people for what they believe. So what the hell else am I supposed to judge people on? What basis are we supposed to use to judge people, if not their beliefs?

Thus concludes this edition of the Carnival of the Godless. If you blog about godlessness and want to participate in the next Carnival, here’s the submission form. Thanks, and may Loki be with you!


  1. says

    Brilliant! I’m dancing like Uma Thurman playing Mia Wallace right now! Great links, good reading. And sod, they just don’t make literature like they used to do they? Some of these modern chick-lits really need to lift their game and their skirts… thanks so much! :)

  2. says

    Jeez, Greta. I come to work, on a Sunday no less, to try to get some things done in preparation for the next week, and now you distract me with this! That’s so unfair. You know I don’t have the willpower to resist blowing off work and reading all this good stuff today. (Hmmm. Maybe if a switch to the clean version, I can get some work done.)
    However…Enquiring minds need to know: Are the book covers from your personal collection?

  3. says

    frankly, this is the best carnivore – sorry, carnival – I have seen. The first one where I looked up all the links. In addition, I found some new reading material if I can find the books.

  4. says

    (James summarizes it thus: “He says he was drunk when he wrote this. Me? I say he’s speaking with a clarity we should all enjoy.”)
    A minor correction? The guy’s name is James, the fellow who sent the link – that’d be me – is named Robin.
    Nevertheless, an excellent roundup, and thanks for posting my recommendation, eh?

  5. says

    Awesome in all possible ways; in fact, I think I’m heading to Cameron’s tomorrow to prowl through the old paperbacks in search of some artistic cover gems to call my own. One minor quibble, though: God didn’t call the Giants’ QB’s mom home. David Tyree is a wide receiver, not a quarterback… I’m a Giants fan, and for a minute there I thought Eli Manning’s mom died and nobody told me about it. Yikes!

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