Note to family members and others who don’t want to read about my personal sex life: This post, and the post it links to, talks about my personal sex life and my sexual history. If you don’t want to read about that, this would be a good post to skip.
Before I’d started having sex with women, my reaction to a guy’s premature ejaculation had been pretty traditional: disappointment, frustration, embarrassment on his behalf, attempts to soothe his ego, feeling like I’d done something wrong.
But this time, my reaction was to say, casually and matter-of-factly, “Oh. Well, is that any reason to stop?”
To find out more, read the rest of the piece. Enjoy!
I totally agree! I’m a guy, and when I cum too early, well that’s just too bad for me! I’ve still got handy fingers and tongue to take care of business for the woman. It’s only fair. And in addition, in my experience the woman definitely remembers and appreciates it, and sometimes even tells her friends! Woohoo!
Excellent piece. There are many other pleasures to be derived from sex besides orgasm. Focusing exclusively on the latter shuts off a vast realm of sensual pleasure and sets unnecessary limits on sexual experiences.
I wanted to let you know that this piece inspired me to write my own journal entry. You can read it here http://joreth.livejournal.com/63875.html .
The final paragraph reads:
So, go forth and explore! You should have a roadmap of the body first, which is where good sex education comes in (both the clinical type offered by medical professionals, or at least knowledgable teachers, and the type you get from your partner about his or her body and kinks specifically), but I like to think of the roadmap as more of a Thomas Guide or an Atlas, as opposed to a set of Mapquest directions. The roadmap tells you where things are, but it doesn’t tell you where you should go. Because all the places on the map have their own interesting little quirks, tourist traps and secret local favorites and all are worth visiting. While I hope that everyone gets to visit Orgasmville regularly, I also hope that everyone doesn’t visit it every time, if for no other reason than to force ya’ll to visit the other places more often and learn just how wonderful those other places are too.
Very cool post. I’ve thought and talked about fingerfucking a lot, because [shameless plug alert] I teach a class about it at Good Vibrations. But I’m not sure if I ever correlated encouraging and expecting non-intercourse skills from men with starting to have sex with women.
When I was a teenager (and what we considered a virgin at the time) I really enjoyed all the fingerfucking I got. In fact, when you posted the essay “The First Good One,” the guy I remembered as the first really great sex I had was memorable specifically for being absolutely brilliant with his fingers. (Thanks, Dave R.]
In my late teenage years, it seemed that to agree to intercourse was to give up the hand action. But I never really felt like one was a substitute for the other. My guess is that a lot of women miss that aspect of early sexual experience once they start having what many think of as “real sex.”
The fact that a lot of women encourage their boyfriends to take a class in fingerfucking seems to confirm that. The fact that so many guys WANT to take the class warms my…um…heart.