But honestly? The thing that’s helped most of anything is that tired old couples-counseling workhorse: scheduling and setting aside time for sex.

I know. Scheduling sex sounds so unsexy. And when you’re not in the mood to have sex anyway, the last thing in the world you want to do is block out time for it in your datebook.

But I’ve found that it works — for two big reasons.

Reason One is purely practical, purely a tackling of the symptoms. If I wait until my life settles down to get back in the mood, I’m going to wait a very long time. At the rate I’m going, my life will probably settle down when I’m in my coffin. I have to schedule time for the things that matter to me — otherwise, they’ll never happen. And that includes sex.

But Reason Two gets to the actual heart of the problem.

To find out why I think scheduling sex can get to the heart of the problem in a sexual dry spell, read the rest of the piece. Enjoy!