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Atheist Limericks!

Over at Friendly Atheist they’re having a contest for who can write the best atheist limerick. I’ve submitted several of my own, and thought y’all might like to see them.

First, I just had to do a Nantucket one:

NantucketAn apologist man from Nantucket
Had excuses that started to suck it.
His mind twisted and turned
And he feared he would burn,
‘Til at last he decided, “Oh, fuck it.”

Then we have the one actually based on my own blog:

PreacherSaid the Reverend, “I know I’m too smart
To rely on just faith a la carte.
My belief isn’t treason
It has evidence and reason –
Like this warm fuzzy glow in my heart.”

Then there’s the one that I consider the best of the lot (although it does require some familiarity with standard atheist/ creationist debates):

FlagellaWhy reject our dear Lord’s great command
When the reasons for faith are so grand?
There’s the Bible so sweet
The flagellum so neat
And bananas fit right in your hand!

And finally, we have my sentimental favorite:

Harry_potter_half_blood_princeHarry Potter’s a sin? Quick! Escape!
From the Christians who’d whip me in shape!
But I’d join any church
Leave my pals in the lurch
If it meant I could do it with Snape.

If you want to pitch in with your own, please do. But do cross-post at Friendly Atheist, since that’s where the contest is, and some of the submissions are doozies.

Comments

  1. says

    Thanks for the tip. I’m a sucker for a contest. Though I must say I’m giving out better prizes this week!
    Here’s my go!
    How convenient for any old wretch
    To be able–with one genuflex
    to have a clean slate
    each time sins they create
    Theists think they’re divine Etch-a-Sketch.

  2. Brodie says

    Inspired by one of your lines:
    That bananas fit right in the hand,
    Shows that God is at work in the land,
    But I’m going to hell,
    Cos my cock fits as well,
    I love sowing my seed in the sand.

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