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Oct 20 2005

Weddings Anonymous

Step 1: I admit that I have become powerless over my wedding and that my life has become unmanageable.

Has planning your wedding ever created financial difficulty?
Has planning your wedding ever interfered with your job?
Do you continue to make wedding plans even if it makes you physically ill or uncomfortable?
Are your friends and family concerned about how much you make wedding plans?
Have you ever made wedding plans that you’ve then forgotten the next day?
Have you ever made wedding plans before noon?
Do you find yourself visiting people because you know they will make wedding plans with you?
Do you find yourself thinking about wedding plans, even at inappropriate times?
Do you find yourself overwhelmed by your need to make wedding plans?
Do you make wedding plans even when you would rather be doing other things?
Have you ever wished you could stop planning your wedding?

Dear God. Sorry I haven’t blogged in a while, but… oh, dear God.

Dream diary: Mostly wedding anxiety dreams. In the latest one, Susie Bright said she could come, but was being extremely fussy and demanding (very uncharacteristic for her) about the dinner buffet.

Reading diary: All comfort reading, stuff I’ve read a million times before. Jane Austen, Dykes to Watch Out For, the Straight Dope books.

Anyway. This is just to say that I probably won’t blog again until mid-November when all this is over. In the meantime, pray for me. I know, I’m an agnostic. Pray for me anyway. Send me the secular humanist version of healing white light. We need it.

3 comments

  1. 1
    Jenine

    There, there. Good job admitting you have a problem. And the best news is, no matter how much wedding planning you’re doing now — you have to stop on November 12! Cold turkey is staring you in the face, not too many days away.
    I’m thinking of you in this time of distracted decision making.

  2. 2
    Woman

    Well well, where do i start?! My partner and i were to be married this year in march. I had grand plans to be right in there and things were good till the initial excitement wore off. My partner works abroad in the middle east, so that is one stress all its own. She is head of a security company, and she rocks. But with a son and my own insecurities at the time with being a new mum, the whole thing went pear shaped after a while. The distance has never been a problem-through Afghanistan and East Timor, ( I was preg during Af!) but the thought of a wedding, became somewhat LARGE! I think Ill just go through the list of questions you have stated!
    here goes:
    Powerless-yes
    Financial_yes(of course)
    Interference with work-no
    Continue to plan through adverse reactions-ahh, yes
    Friends and family concerned with input-yes, in the sense that I began to loose interest
    Forgotten plans the next day- often, because it was usually through a haze of wine
    Before noon?-they say to never make all your decisions after 11 aye?!
    Alterior motives in regards to friends?-yes, ashamedly, but thats where the utilisation of friend and family was supposed to come into play
    Inappropriate planning times-yes, it was usually whilst showering, being that I was thinking how I wasnt going to fit into a potato sack let alone my planned dress
    Overwhelmed by need to plan-HELL YES. Its a seriously strange affair we have after the proposal has reared its beautiful head. In the back of my mind it whimpered in my direction, PLAN PLAN PLAN OR DIE
    Planning whilst somewhere else?- oh yes, many a time I had wondered why I was doing it, when all I could think of was my guitar or a glass of wine!
    Stopping the madness?- Well, to cut a novel short, we talked and decided we were starting to forget why we were getting hitched. Marriage is still not ‘marriage’ here in nz, its called a civil union. But one step closer aye? But anyhoo, it was about the fact that we had forgotten the moment that ‘made’us know, made us so damn in love. The reason.Its what everyone says, Its about you! Whatever, no matter how well meaning your loved ones are, they cant help forgetting that ‘they’ arent the ones getting hitched!!! And damn it, they arent two gay women with a son!!!
    We are going to fly to one of the gazillion pacific islands near NZ to go get married by ourselves. No family, though i love them so, nothing crazy. Simple, pure, and to the point. Its about us. Its about so many things but so very simple I guess. OK, running out of computer eyes now, thanks for doing what you do Greta. I have to honestly say that life gets lonely, and I believe in the moments when you happen upon pure spiritual knowledge. Thanks ladies. You are simply inspiring.
    Womanxo

  3. 3
    Greta

    Congratulations! And I’ll admit there’s a part of me that’s envious of the no frills “just the two of us” wedding. I wouldn’t have changed ours for anything — for me and Ingrid, having our vows witnessed and celebrated by the friends and family who love us was a huge part of what made it meaningful. But if the stress is taking the joy out of it, then that’s definitely missing the point.
    It is weird — the wedding is one of the few events in my life that I passionately loved, thoroughly enjoyed — and never in million years would want to do again.
    Anyway, congrats — and congrats on cutting through the madness and doing it the way that works for you.

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