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Kirkus Reviews and the Hollywood Reporter Say “Make Greta’s Book Into A Movie!”

No, really.

This is probably the most hilarious review I’ve ever gotten.

Here’s the deal. Kirkus Reviews and the Hollywood Reporter apparently team up for a regular series of "books-to-film recommendations" — and my new erotic novella, "Bending" (part of the three-novella collection "Three Kinds of Asking for It" from Simon & Schuster’s Touchstone) recently got listed. It was part of a piece they did on sexy books that might make good movies, ranging from PG-13 to unrated. My book, needless to say, was one of the unrated ones. Here’s what they say:

"If you look carefully, you can find novels whose sexual charge makes them natural movie fodder in nearly every rating category… Contributors Eric Albert and Greta Christina provide an even more inventive pair of sex fantasies in Susie Bright’s latest collection of erotica, ‘Three Kinds of Asking for It’ (Touchstone, $14). A young man’s deal with a witch to make every woman he meets powerless to resist his advances? A young woman who can be satisfied only when she’s bent over and taken from behind? What would L.B. Mayer say?"

If you don’t believe me, see for yourself.

In case you’re wondering why I’m laughing my ass off about this instead of scrambling to find a movie agent, it’s because it’s so unlikely. Don’t get me wrong, I’m immensely proud of "Bending" and I think it’s one of the best things I’ve written — but it’s unbelievably smutty. It’s very sexually explicit; the sex is, shall we say, extreme; and there’s pretty much nothing in it other than sex. With the exception of a sentence here and a paragraph there, every word of the book involves either people having sex, talking about sex, or thinnkig about sex. It’s a little hard to imagine it being made into a movie directed by anyone other than Rocco Siffredi. (Even if the sexual climate were otherwise, it’s hard to imagine "Bending" being made into a movie, since so much of the book consists of internal monologue and mental landscape. Vividly depicted internal monologue and mental landscape, but still.)

But hey. What do I know. Any movie moguls out there who want to take a flyer on "Bending," drop me an email. We’ll do lunch.

P.S. "Three Kinds of Asking for It" comes out at the end of this month. You can get more info about it on my Website.

Comments

  1. says

    Hey, you never know, what with 9 Songs and the like.
    A quick tech tip: it’s much more effective to make real links instead of just typing the URL, especially for the really long ones. You can do that by using the regular HTML link tags. I’d demonstrate, but it doesn’t seem to work in the comments (probably you have HTML in comments turned off, my italics don’t show up either).

  2. says

    Thanks, Tim. Yes, I suppose it’s possible that my filthy little novella will hit the big screen. I’m already working on casting. I’m thinking Lindsey Lohan, Adam Sandler, and Paris Hilton for the three principles…
    And thanks for the tech tip — I’ve gone ahead and made the changes in my posts. As far as comments go, I have my preferences set so that URLs automaticall get converted into links, but that means commenters can’t put in their own html. Not sure which is best; it’s kind of a trade-off, one is better for techies,. one is better for non-techies. Thoughts?

  3. Susie says

    Greta, I think you are a wee bit prejudiced in favor of Rocco Sifreddi. Of course there are other directors who are ready for piles of sex. The Hollywood Reporter thinks so, and so do I!
    Lindsay Lohan???? But she’s DISAPPEARING. you better get her cameo now.

  4. says

    Oh, I’m sure there are directors who might be ready to direct “Bending.” I’m just not so sure there are actors who are ready to perform in it. But what do I know. Maybe this is just the vehicle Meryl Streep is looking for to inject some spice into her career…

  5. says

    Maybe the bad-girl actress from “Fucking Amal”. I could see her knowing how to bend over a toilet.
    Then once the movie comes out, you get the fanfic crossovers! That would be the best part! Harry Potter Bending (to Draco, Snape, Hermione, Voldemort, et al), Buffy Bending, etc.
    Heh, sorry, I know that’s incredibly wrong… Is my nerdhood showing?
    – Liz

  6. says

    Oh, my God. Buffy/Bending crossover fanfic. I can’t wait. In fact, an entire subset of my absurd “who do I want to star in the ‘Bending’ movie?” fantasies has been “Who from the cast of Buffy do I want to star in the ‘Bending’ movie?”
    Now, Harry Potter/Bending fanfic — that’s just wrong. :-)
    -Greta
    P.S. Although if he were 20 years younger, I’d seriously think about Alan Rickman for the male lead. I didn’t get Snape as a sex symbol *at all* until I saw him in the first movie…

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