I don’t enjoy many gay YouTube videos – most ‘coming out’ clips seem to show vulnerable queer kids tearfully accepting what scraps straight parents throw their way who spew patronising bullshit. I don’t enjoy that many gay TED talks either – Mads Ananda Lodahl’s TEDx talk from Copenhagen two years ago, which I stumbled across the other day, is a refreshing exception.
Some highlights (see a full transcript here):
For the last ten years, I have been writing articles and giving lectures to young people about queer theory and politics. You might think that makes me an expert at being gay, but if anything, it makes me an expert at understanding ‘normal’. ‘Queer’ means a lot of different things, but something that is central to the queer perspective is to turn the focus away from the people who deviate from the straight norm onto the straight norm itself – to stop asking questions like ‘Why do people become gay?’ and ‘Why do gays have to act like that?’ and start asking the big question: how did normal become normal? That is, how did the straight norm become so strong – so integrated into every part of our lives, our societies and our selves – that for us to even begin to understand what the straight world order is… is like asking a fish to describe water?
I don’t want to be normal. I didn’t come here today to defend myself – I didn’t come to defend homosexuals or women or transgender people. I came today to attack. I came to declare a war, today, on the straight world order. I came to strike matches and to throw rocks, and I came with a toothpick for you if you’ve got the straight world order stuck between your teeth, and with a pair of pliers to pull it out of your foot if you’ve stepped on it. I may be at war with the straight world order, but I am at peace with myself – and the first thing I do every morning when I wake up is to thank the universe and the stars that I am a faggot. I am disgusted – not by heterosexuals, but by the straight world order, and I want no part of it. No thank you. The Gay Liberation Front had it right in 1971, when they said ‘We don’t want a piece of that pie. That pie is rotten.’
Be aware of it when you have certain expectations of people’s sex, gender and sexuality – and realise that they might not live up to your expectations, and that that’s not a problem. That is not a threat to you. It is not a mistake or a failure that you need to fix – it’s not something that people do to get your attention or to provoke you. It is the way they live their lives – and you don’t need to ask about it, stare at it, comment on it or try to correct it. What you need to do is, you need to respect it.
At last a queer 101 I can get behind.