Review: the Slymepit’s new photoshop of me is stylish, but fails to convince

At the moment of writing, I look like this.


According to Mark Senior, who seems to be making distributing ‘victim cards’ of people he doesn’t like (starting with me), I look like this.

I must say I think he the artist (a user named Red Celt) captured me.

There are of course some problems. While the chest hair shows impressive attention to detail, I’ve never been ribcage-skinny in my life, and haven’t had red hair for close to a year. (It seems to be the one thing Slymepitters – well known for their open minds – can’t let go about me.) Nor do I wear eyeshadow or lipstick as a rule, but to be fair, they had to represent my being queer somehow. Next time, why not just draw me sucking dick and own your homophobia?

Red Celt and Senior might have cottoned on that, as a ‘social justice warrior’, I don’t wear leather shoes. The trousers, on the other hand, are a highlight even if I could never squeeze into them. Without a photo of my lower half – it looks like this, for future reference – this seems to be what my trolls imagined I wore, which likely says more about them than me.

I remain puzzled, finally, about why my nose is a shade lighter than the rest of me. Clearly it’s been photoshopped on from an image of a Groucho Marx joke nose, and let’s not think too much about the idea people with noses like that are figures of comedy one ought to be embarrassed to resemble.

To recap, then, the personal weaknesses of mine the pitters think discredit me are:

  • Being thin;
  • Being queer;
  • Wearing bright clothes;
  • Having had red hair;
  • The shape of my nose.

What can I say? My sins have found me out.





  1. says

    This is a brilliant example of how to deconstruct and defuse an attempted insult.

    Insults gain what power they have by hurting the target through invidious comparison. But if you parse them apart, the comparisons are either true, or untrue. If they’re true, well, then, meh, so what? Although if I told you “hey, you wear glasses!” and that made you cry, then you’ve got a problem with reality, not me. If they are not true, then they’re just lies intended to hurt and oughtn’t because, well, they’re not true.

    PS – the hair is so wrong that I suspect lack of talent is why it’s so off. Not because your hair is unusual, red, or hard to cartoon.

  2. says

    I never see the point of personal insults, as Marcus says …

    Insults gain what power they have by hurting the target through invidious comparison.

    The insulter has compared themselves to a person that thinks mere appearance is important in trying to discredit your arguments. So basically all they’ve done is expose how irrational they are, especially ironic given they set themselves up as the sooper-spocky-skeptic-brigade.

  3. says

    Yeah, I frequently get sent caricatures of myself, usually made by distorting existing photos or photoshopping my face onto something bizarre. They range from stick-figure bad to boring uses of photoshop filters. I can’t say that I’m ever impressed, or that I stop and think, “Hmmm. This fellow has drawn me with a very large nose and a very tiny penis…perhaps there is something to his argument.”

  4. says

    I wonder if he’ll ever get to me, or if he’ll run out of steam when he realizes his targets are actually flattered by the attempt.

    I’m sure we could commission someone to do one of you. Perhaps a famous mangaka who’s known for tracing lines from other people’s artwork….? Or any of the 10,000 others who do that on deviantart.

    A bunch of years I commissioned one of me:
    That was back before I decided badger iconography was more appropriate. 😉

  5. says

    And Conservapedia (the “reliable” encyclopedia) illustrates its entry on Sen. Al Franken with a Photoshopped picture that placed his head on the body of someone wearing adult diapers and clutching a plush toy. The crazies have really high standards for respecting reality, don’t they?

  6. bryanfeir says

    and haven’t had red hair for close to a year. (It seems to be the one thing Slymepitters – well known for their open minds – can’t let go about me.)

    As my grandfather used to say… “He’s got a mind like a steel trap… snaps shut on the first thing that wanders across it, and needs to be manually reset afterwards if you want to use it for anything else.”

    (My grandfather was a high school principal with rather low opinions of the local school board.)

  7. Scr... Archivist says

    oolon @2,

    The insulter has compared themselves to a person that thinks mere appearance is important in trying to discredit your arguments.

    Not only that, but you can’t read the words behind the caricature. I don’t know if it’s supposed to be a page from Alex’s blog or not. Nevertheless, being unable to make out the words at all suggests that the cartoonist wants you to not pay attention to them.


    Marcus @5,

    So I take it that you are a Gryffindor?

  8. says

    Saw my card. A little disappointed in the tired South Park trope, but it’s a not-unreasonable likeness of me several years ago when I still had hair. Guessing the only clue they used for what I look like is my really-old Gravatar of when Jodi and I were married. Likewise with Alex’s, taking that one pic from very long ago and not actually looking for any changes or commonalities that would give you a proper defining characteristic.

    A bit sad that what the artist thinks are our primary characteristics are so often off the mark, though. It’s like, if you’re making the effort to try to caricature us, at least find features that make the cards recognizable without the names? Shouldn’t be THAT hard. And yet without the names I wouldn’t have guessed half of them. Jen’s had to have her name on her t-shirt, it was that unrecognizable. Richard Carrier’s was just a blow-up doll with something kinda like his hair. The only reason I got Stephanie was because I know they talk about her being super fat all the time, as like this one tiny bit of leverage they have on her that they can keep hammering on to try to destroy her self esteem, despite the fact that it’s like the least defining quality about her presence, and she looks nothing like that. It’s like, find the worst single picture you can find (or in some cases, evidently the ONLY single picture you can find), don’t bother to check if their appearance has changed in the interim, and go with that. Kinda lazy.

    It was also pretty sad that PZ got the highest-quality treatment of us all, like they spent a ton of time poring over photos in order to photoshop him over and over and over again. I mean, I know why they did it… because he’s our hivemind overlord and knocking him out of the fight would destroy us all, right? Like the Borg Queen?

    I just want QUALITY caricature… these aren’t even political cartoon level of parody, but I expect better from people who’ve decided we’re their enemies and that this level of commitment to fighting us is acceptable.

    Bah. I am disapoint.

  9. says

    I am disapoint.

    Email me some pics of you and I’ll spin up one of my award-winning mangaka friends to do a caricature of you. And it won’t be a traceover. 😉


  1. […] A few things are coming out of the woodwork that make this relevant. Not particularly, but contemporaneously, a series of “Anti-SJW” (Social Justice Warrior) cards have recently been tweeted at people by Mark Senior. These cards target people like Ophelia Benson and Alex Gabriel. […]

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