At the moment of writing, I look like this.
According to Mark Senior, who seems to be making distributing ‘victim cards’ of people he doesn’t like (starting with me), I look like this.
I must say I think he the artist (a user named Red Celt) captured me.
There are of course some problems. While the chest hair shows impressive attention to detail, I’ve never been ribcage-skinny in my life, and haven’t had red hair for close to a year. (It seems to be the one thing Slymepitters – well known for their open minds – can’t let go about me.) Nor do I wear eyeshadow or lipstick as a rule, but to be fair, they had to represent my being queer somehow. Next time, why not just draw me sucking dick and own your homophobia?
Red Celt and Senior might have cottoned on that, as a ‘social justice warrior’, I don’t wear leather shoes. The trousers, on the other hand, are a highlight even if I could never squeeze into them. Without a photo of my lower half – it looks like this, for future reference – this seems to be what my trolls imagined I wore, which likely says more about them than me.
I remain puzzled, finally, about why my nose is a shade lighter than the rest of me. Clearly it’s been photoshopped on from an image of a Groucho Marx joke nose, and let’s not think too much about the idea people with noses like that are figures of comedy one ought to be embarrassed to resemble.
To recap, then, the personal weaknesses of mine the pitters think discredit me are:
- Being thin;
- Being queer;
- Wearing bright clothes;
- Having had red hair;
- The shape of my nose.
What can I say? My sins have found me out.