The Tangled Bank #113: A Labor Day Carol

Blogging across the parallel universes brings not only rewards but a burden of responsibilities. I learned this to my chagrin one day in 2112, on Tangled Bank #113, a beautiful little terraformed world in Parallel U. Gamma, named in honor of the great Charles Darwin. Certain theories of time travel had recently been overturned. My physicist friend Yoo Chung burst in my door shortly after creating a time travel device that utilized the wormholes he once doubted.

“Dana! Grab your Smack-o-Matic and hurry!” he shouted, arms flailing like dear little windmills. “Darwin never published Origin in Parallel U. Cappa. Now the backward denizens of that universe have stolen a U-Skipper from the anthropologists sent to observe them and are planning to unleash ignorance bombs throughout the multiverse! There’s no time to lose!”

I swivelled around without taking my mind from my post-generator. “Yoo. Darling. You created a time machine. We have gobs of time to lose.”

His panic faded, replaced by a blank look. “Oh. Oh, right. Okay, when you get around to it.”

Persuading a reluctant giant of science to budge might prove a bit difficult, so I called upon our Cephalopod Overlord to marshal an army of arguments for me. Armed with these and my trusty Smack-o-Matic, I marched through Yoo’s time bridge and imposed myself upon Charles Darwin and his barnacles.

“What’s this I hear about you not publishing Origins, Mr. Darwin?”

Roughly an hour’s worth of explaining how a woman in pants waving a monstrous electronic paddle had come to appear in his study ensued before I obtained an answer to my original question. “Well, you see, there’s so little interest,” he mused, stroking his wild white beard. “Our respective essays were recently presented at the Linnean Society, and the reaction has been anything but thunderous.”

“You want thunder, sir, I shall give you thunder.” I flourished the Smack-o-Matic. “Behold the Tangled Bank!”

“The which?”

“Something you said once, sir. Your little theory has – will – revolutionize the world. But only if you publish. Allow me to show you the fields of science evolution will impact, and then you can tell me just how not-thunderous the reaction has been.”

We began in familiar territory, with biology – but biology as Darwin couldn’t have imagined it:

Pharyngula, “Reprogramming the pancreas

While injecting a person’s pancreas with a collection of viruses to rebuild missing cell types might be a little hazardous and crude, there may come a day when we can collect a few cells from an individual by a scraping or biopsy, grow them in a dish to get enough, tickle their transcription factors to cause them to differentiate into the cell, tissue, or organ type we want, and transplant the final, immunocompatible product right back into the patient.

Ramblings, “Biochemistry is worth it

So then I got to thinking, which is generally a bad sign, and I decided I should take a biochemistry course, since everything I am interested in regarding microbes is on the molecular level.

So that’s all well and good, but what makes nonpolar molecules ‘hydrophobic?’ I undersand why they aren’t dissolved like polar compounds, but what makes them ‘afraid’ of the water molecules and want to ‘get away.’

Tonisidaway, “Geography is encoded in the genes”

They report that when a political map of Europe is placed over the genetic map, 50% of plots end up within 310km of the country of origin and 90% are within 700k of the country of origin.

Denialism Blog, “Get ready – flu season is closer than you think

Small changes occur in the RNA of flu viruses over time, leading to changes in the surface molecules. Even small changes in these surface molecules can change our immune system’s ability to respond to an infection.

It’s Alive!!Human parasite’s goody two shoes cousin helps coral

Chromera velia is clearly related to Plasmodium parasites, but rather than being a blood-borne obligate parasite of mammals and insects that rarely sees light of day, it is a plankton-like photosynthesising obligate symbiont of corals.

Biochemical Soul, “Another Step in the Evolution of Humans and Apes from Ancestral Mammals

One of the most fascinating lines of research within the field of evolutionary biology is the search to find the genes that changed at the split between ancestral mammals and our own closer ancestors, the great apes.

The annotated budak, “Missing in action: Megafauna and seed dispersal in Asia’s empty forests

The study of seed dispersal was a popular discipline amongst late 19th and early 20th century biologists. These included a certain Charles Darwin, who undertook experiments such as feeding seeds to birds, killing the poor fowl and floating their carcasses on seawater for weeks to determine if the seeds would still be viable.

Cheshire, “Environmentally Friendly Pest Control: An Overview of The Sterile Insect Technique

In many cases, we can use the insects themselves to aid us in their elimination. One method, called the Sterile Insect Technique (SIT) involves using sterilized insects to drive the population down.

a Nadder! “Aliens Among Us

Some people complain that aliens are very blandly portrayed in books, movies etc. Half are humanoid, often being mere WASPs from another galaxy. The other half are carnivorous plants, slimy blobs etc. They: few portrayals of extra-terrestrial life are truly original.

Not so on Earth.

Agricultural Biodiversity Weblog, “Lost in genebank database hell

Navigating around germplasm databases can be a frustrating experience. A posting on CropWildRelativesGroup alerted me to a Science Daily piece on tomato genomics which mentioned the wild relative Lycopersicon pennellii (or Solanum pennellii, but I’m not going there, at least not today). But how many accessions of this species are conserved ex situ? And where is it found in the wild?

Darwin had rollercoastered from consternation to wonder to growing delight as we explored the vistas his simple theory had opened in biology. Now, he looked at me expectantly. “Well?”

“Well, what?”

“And where is it found in the wild, then?”

“Oh, that. We don’t know. Poor Luigi and Jeremy are still lost in genebank database hell.” I gave the Smack-o-Matic an airy wave. “The glory of science, however, is that we can find our way to the truth no matter how lost we get. And, as the Taoists say, getting lost isn’t such a bad thing – the journey is indeed the reward. Let’s explore the tangled banks of general science and natural philosophy for a bit, shall we?”

Rodibidably, “Defining Science

The overriding themes on these definitions seems to be knowledge and the search for knowledge. This means that Science is concerned with learning and acquiring information, or knowledge.

A Neotropical Savanna, “Cojoba beans

Look at how the beans are still attached to the pod, even though they’re not within the pod itself. This appearance might be a way of luring birds to the tree to disperse the seeds (Zuchowski) although few birds seem to be attracted to these beans.

Science After Sunclipse, “An Alloy of Pleasures

If the Gentle Reader were to deduce a “moral” from the story, it might be that I am a cantankerous individual with an acerbic disposition, and the reader would not be gravely in error. Beyond that, one could say that a science education nearly killed the general-interest bookshelf for me, and what University did not do, the science-blogging world definitely tried to finish.

Chromium Oxide Green, “An arachnid this time!

The spider had torn off about a third of the flower, and, with its front legs, was spinning the little yellow piece, rotating it, as though she were going to attempt to eat it! It seemed that, with my tapping the web, she had mistaken the flower for a caught insect.

Tethered Cow Ahead, “Similarity Breeds Contentment

But I leave you with this thought: self-similarity is rife in nature. It is embedded everywhere from the mathematics of fractals to the formation of snow crystals and the songs of birds.

Darwin sighed with pleasure. “What a beautiful sentiment.”

“Indeed. It’s times like this that I know science is more than theories and experiments. It’s something altogether wonderful.” I poked him with the tip of the Smack-o-Matic. “And necessary. Consider neurobiology. If we don’t understand our own minds, how are we to use them to their fullest potential?”

That One Person Who Likes That Historical Strategy Game, “Big Brains Tell Really Big Lies

Basically, it turns out that over time, what we know to be a lie can seem to become a truth, as the memory becomes more long-term. The more times we hear it, the more likely it is that at some time in the future we will think it to be true, even if a disclaimer is added every time.

The Evolving Mind, “RP) Gaps in the Brain & a Jack of Many Trades

Rather than a mono-function corkscrew, human nature is a Swiss Army knife. Any blade currently manifest, endowed in us by “nature,” is one nurture has extended. Plasticity in the brain translates into a great range of potential behaviors and thus flexibility in how an individual or group can adapt to its environment. And environments change.

“That’s what your theory has inspired, sir. We now understand our minds in a way we couldn’t have done without your enlightening little book.”

Darwin rubbed his beard. “This is indeed an inspiration to me. But I feel, Dana, that you are only giving me a part of this story. I’ve heard rumblings from some of the more superstitious among us. How have they reacted to my theor
y? Have the objections been overcome?”

“Alas, the traits of stubbornness and willful ignorance are still very much a part of our evolutionary heritage.” I shook the Smack-0-Matic. “Hence, this. But while they reject your theory, they’re finding it harder and harder to defend against.”

Tonisidaway, “Pennsylvania University Museum Exhibition Refutes Intelligent Design

Using exhibits such as a life-sized transparent model of a recumbent woman, the exhibition demonstrates the features that life has evolved to enable it to survive. The message is that our bodies, being a product of natural selection, are functional, but far from perfect.

Discovering Biology in a Digital World, “Mumps outbreak in Vancouver

Today, I read that a mumps outbreak is happening in Vancouver, Canada. So far 116 cases have been confirmed.

Why is mumps, a preventable and serious disease, causing problems in Canada?

Submitted to a Candid World, “Our Comment for the ‘Provider Conscience Regulation’

While perhaps to some the regulation’s goals are laudable, by elevating the physician’s conscience above the patient’s health, the PCR evinces a shortsightedness and ignorance of consequences that ought to doom it to failure.

Dubiosity, “The 21-gram soul

As the story goes, a doctor named Duncan MacDougall proved that the soul exists because he found that people weigh less (about 21 grams) after they die than they did just before death. These results were reported in the New York Times numerous times after the study was performed…in 1907.

I guess science reporting was as crappy 100 years ago as it is now. But, rather than just dismiss this out of hand as we probably should, let’s analyze it a bit.

Evolved and Rational, “Is irreducible complexity a problem for evolution?”

An irreducibly complex system is generally defined as a system that loses its function if any one part is removed. If such a system is found, all it would show is that it did not evolve by the addition of single parts with no change in function. However, since this is not the only evolutionary mechanism around, the IDiots who use this argument simply show themselves as ignoramuses when it comes down to how evolution actually works. An irreducibly complex system would not pose a problem for evolution nor justify the design inference.

“You see? Your theory is more than scientifically powerful enough to defeat every challenge thrown at it. And society is better for it – the great advances we’ve made in medicine, biology, even seemingly unrelated fields like astronomy, chemistry and geology owe a great debt to you.”

Darwin’s eyebrows rose like caterpillars on a puppeteer’s string. “Geology?”

“Indeed.”

Outside the Interzone, “98 102 97 88

Don’t think for a second that geology pertains only to rocks.

Reconciliation Ecology, “Holy magnetic cow!!

Do you think of asking the cow for directions? Why not? For it seems that cow probably knows which way north is!

Chimaera Contemplations, “Delta in distress

The Sacramento San Joaquin River Delta (Delta) is dying. It has really been dying since 1849, when that historically highly invasive and destructive race of homo sapiens – the white man – discovered gold and started invading the state in large numbers. To be fair, white women started arriving, too.

Tangled Up in Blue Guy, “The Largest Ecosystem on the Planet

The North and South American continents j
oined up just three million years ago, but before then there was a chain of deep sea channels from the Pacific through to the Atlantic. Sandwiched between Jamaica and the Cayman Islands is a trench approximately 5000 meters deep (or a little more than three miles,) which has yet to be explored. But that will soon change thanks to the National Oceanographic Centre, Southampton.

“Do you know what they find in those deep sea channels?” I asked. “Life, evolved to tolerate conditions that would kill us in a heartbeat, living off of things we never even considered as food.”

“Incredible,” Darwin said. He had at some point reached for his pen, and was busy sharpening it. I could see the Smack-0-Matic would no longer be needed. “I knew that evolution was a powerful force, but this is astonishing. And you say that my book will enable us to understand how these things come to be?”

“Not only that,” I said, “but it will inspire generations to fall in love with science, and have consequences even for our drinks. Speaking of which, I’m dying of thirst after all of this. I do want you to write this book, but do you think we could go for a beer?”

Beer Science, “Dry Yeast vs. Liquid Yeast

There are proponents on both sides of the dry vs. liquid yeast debate, both with valid points. Dry yeast is easier to use and can be stored longer, not to mention it’s cheaper. Liquid yeast on the other hand, provides a fresher pitch of healthy cells.

What is a brewer to do? An article appeared last year in the Journal of the American Society of Brewing Chemists that gives me some ideas.

The Off Season Recipe Blog, “A bit of brewing chemistry

Well, I’d be remiss as a food geek not to make a post about food science, so in response to an open invite to the Tangled Bank, I’ll talk a little about beer, corn syrup, and how it all relates to ethanol usage.

This post is about amylases — enzymes that break down starch into sugar. They are a fairly important class of enzymes, as they happen to be the main enzyme that allows us to convert starches and other polysaccharides into simple sugars such as glucose that allow our bodies to run.

Janne in Osaka, “An Experiment in Coffee Storage

Science is a method or a way of thinking about things, after all, and it doesn’t have to be about complex or esoteric things.

“I can raise a pint to that,” Darwin said.

“And after the pint, an inkwell.” I sighed. “After which, I shall unfortunately have to leave this Tangled Bank and return. But there will be plenty more Tangled Banks to come, beginning at Science Made Cool, now that you’ve seen the extraordinary importance of your little book.”

The Tangled Bank #113: A Labor Day Carol
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Quick and Dirty Political Snark

Next time, I’ll know better than to demand PZ harass his readers for more Tangled Bank submissions. It’s like standing at the base of an unstable snowpack and shouting at the top of your lungs while shooting off a brace of bazookas on a warm spring day – not a good idea unless you want to get buried.

But a day without political snark on this blog would be a very dull day indeed, and so I bring you these recent gems.

First off, the Republicons in many states are running scared, but the ones in Mississippi top anything I’ve seen yet for sheer amusement value:

MS-Sen: GOP forces in Mississippi are trying to get the U.S. Senate race moved to the bottom of the ballot, in hopes that any “new Obama voters” might miss the race (and presumably, fail to vote for Democrat Ronnie Musgrove).

The Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal responds (emphasis mine):

The state Election Commission – consisting of Gov. Haley Barbour, Attorney General Jim Hood and Secretary of State Delbert Hosemann will make the decision. Hood, citing precedent, said the Wicker-Musgrove race should follow the Cochran-Fleming matchup on the ballot. They’re both U.S. Senate races, after all, and logically should be grouped together near the top of the ballot and before local elections. Hosemann, the state’s chief elections officer, said last week he’s still studying the matter.

If the law allows any latitude at all, the decision ought to be a no-brainer. The most important race other than the presidency to be voted on by Mississippians that day should be in the most prominent place possible on the ballot. The only plausible reason for anyone to want it near the bottom is the hope that some voters will overlook it or just not take the time to finish their ballot.

Musgrove has already made it clear that he wants it near the top. Wicker has not said to this point, but a campaign spokesman has downplayed the issue’s importance and questioned why Musgrove is concerned about it. Surely the Wicker camp wants the race to be as prominently displayed as possible, given its historic nature.

Isn’t that precious? They’re so shit-scared they’re trying to bury the races where the voters won’t catch ’em out. Ha ha ha, run as fast as you like, you fuckers – you can’t hide.

Seems like McCain couldn’t hide from the frothing fundies. Atheist Chaplain sent me a link to an article that makes a little more sense of her choice and shows just how whipped McLame is:

Republican presidential candidate John McCain picked Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate after conservatives threatened a revolt if he went with his first choice, former Democratic Senator Joe Lieberman.

Senator McCain has defended his choice of Ms Palin to run for vice-president after news of her 17-year-old pregnant unmarried daughter dominated day one of the Republican national convention in St Paul, Minnesota.

Now it has emerged that the shock announcement of the unknown Ms Palin was forced upon Senator McCain after conservatives threatened a revolt at the convention if he pushed ahead with his preferred vice-presidential pick, Independent and former Democrat Senator Joe Lieberman.

Sarah Palin, that absolute clown car train wreck of a VP choice, was forced on him. If the man can’t even stand up to a bunch of religious dickheads, how the fuck is he supposed to show any backbone on the world political stage? Credibility: McLame hasn’t gots it.

Finally, Hilzoy, posting on Political Animal, brings political snark to new heights, while leading us in beautifully to the Tangled Bank by sounding suspiciously scientific:

Every so often, I run across an argument so manifestly absurd that I think: wow, this isn’t just spin and deception, this is performance art. Today I found just such an argument, made by Frank Gaffney:

“Speaking of geography, Alaskan territory is also along the trajectory of ballistic missiles launched eastward out of Stalinist North Korea. For that reason, among others, Alaska’s Fort Greely was selected as the site for the principal U.S. ground-based defense against such missiles. As that state’s governor, Sarah Palin would know more by osmosis — if nothing else — about the necessity for U.S. anti-missile systems than either Messrs. Obama or Biden.”

Sarah Palin learned foreign policy by osmosis? Really? I always relied on catalysis, myself: I just drop some zeolytes into my brain, and lo! instant expertise. I had no idea it was possible to do it by osmosis, though on reflection that would explain the large number of grizzly bears who are up to speed on Sino-Soviet relations.

Those damned grizzly bears and their foreign policy chops. Stephen Colbert was right – they are the Number One Threat to America. Maybe McCain should ditch Palin and her stopover creds and choose Gentle Ben as his running mate instead. The choice, in this blogger’s humble opinion, would make a fuck of a lot more sense.

But Ben’s probably a Democrat and a dirty hippie environmentalist to boot, so I guess that’s right out. The Frothing Fundies wouldn’t stand for it.

This election is going to be one of those tragicomedies, I can guaran-fucking-tee you.

Quick and Dirty Political Snark

Happy Hour Discurso

Today’s opining on the public discourse.

Good. The MSM’s finally starting to discover the wonder and joys of the Smack-o-Matic:

The McCain campaign and leading Republican voices continue to argue that Sarah Palin’s position as the putative head of the Alaskan National Guard is evidence of foreign policy experience. We already know that’s not true — Maj. Gen. Craig Campbell, adjutant general of the Alaska National Guard, told the Associated Press that when it comes to national defense activities, the entire Guard operation is under federal control.

Undeterred by facts, Palin’s boosters, including McCain campaign spokesperson Tucker Bounds, keep pushing the line that she has genuine foreign-policy experience. Yesterday, CNN’s Campbell Brown pressed him to explain what on earth he’s talking about. More specifically, Brown asked, “Can you just tell me one decision that she made as commander in chief of the Alaska National Guard. Just one.” Bounds could attack Barack Obama, he could tout John McCain, but he couldn’t answer the question. Brown kept asking, and Bounds kept
dodging.

I watched the video last night, and it’s highly entertaining. So entertaining, in fact, that the McCain campaign felt the need to retaliate:

Today, CNN’s Wolf Blitzer revealed that because of that tough interview, the McCain campaign has canceled the senator’s appearance on Larry King Live tonight:

The McCain campaign said it believed that exchange was over the line and as a result the interview scheduled for Larry King Live with Sen. McCain was pulled. CNN does not believe that Campbell’s interview was over the line. We are committed to fair coverage of both sides of this historic election.

Outstanding. CNN finally found their spine – I never thought I’d see it. Maybe they’re just sick of Johnny’s tantrums. As Think Progress notes in the above article,

The McCain campaign has repeatedly tried to intimidate the press. It is now angry about media coverage of Bristol Palin’s pregnancy, calling NBC’s reporting on it “irresponsible journalism.” Campaign staffers “even considered pulling out of one of the three presidential
debates
because it would be moderated by Tom Brokaw, a former NBC News anchorman.” When Newsweek wrote a cover story in May examining the hardball tactics conservatives might use in the general election, the McCain campaign “threatened to throw the magazine’s reporters off the campaign bus and airplane.”

Go grab yourselves some video and enjoy. It’s nice watching someone other than the Dems and a highly unpopular president getting the smackdown.

In other wrong notes McCain’s lackeys have hit, this one’s guaranteed to bring down the house:

We haven’t heard much from Phil Gramm lately, despite speculation that he, despite his record, might be considered to lead the Treasury department in a McCain administration. Apparently, calling the United States a “nation of whiners” makes one something of a political pariah, even in Republican circles.

And yet, he’s back, and he’s as off-message as ever.

Bloomberg News reports that at a Financial Services Roundtable event in Minneapolis today, former Sen. Phil Gramm, R-Texas, revisited the comments that got him into trouble in July.

“If you’re sitting here today, you’re not economically illiterate and you’re not a whiner, so I’m not worried about who you’re going to vote for,” Gramm said.


I see. So, the rest of the country is made up of “whiners,” but if you’re at the Republican National Convention, you’re exempt from the label. It’s not enough to Gramm to reemerge from political exile, he also feels compelled to return to the subject that gone him in trouble in the first place.

With friends like Gramm, Palin et al, it’s starting to look like McCain doesn’t have any pressing need for enemies.

The news doesn’t get any better for Republicons away from the McCain & Palin sideshow. Our own dear fuckwit Alberto Gonzales is back in the national spotlight, and although the dodged a bullet on getting prosecuted for improperly handling classified information, he could yet get a shotgun blast to the chest over perjury:

But Gonzales may have done more than just “improperly handle” classified national security documents. CQ’s Spy Talk blog reports that there is “strong evidence” in the report “that the former attorney general lied to federal investigators probing his careless handling of highly classified documents.”

According to the IG the report, Gonzales told investigators that he did not know that documents he handled relating to the Bush administration’s warrantless wiretapping program were classified:

Gonzales said that he was unaware of the classification level and compartmented nature of the NSA program he referenced in the notes. Gonzales also stated he did not recall thinking that the notes themselves were classified.

Yet the report also says that an envelope containing the documents were marked “top secret” by Alberto Gonzales himself:

The envelope containing documents related to the NSA surveillance program bore the handwritten markings, “TOP SECRET – EYES ONLY – ARG” [the attorney general’s initials] followed by an abbreviation for the SCI codeword for the program.

Heh heh heh whoops. “ARG” is right. Remember, my darlings: if you’re going to commit perjury, make sure your own handwritten notes don’t call bullshit on you.

Bush isn’t having a good day, either. He’s decided to play pollyticks with Gustav and got smacked around by none other than Joe Scarborough:

This morning, President Bush discussed Hurricane Gustav, using the occasion to push for more offshore drilling:

BUSH: One thing that’s for certain, when Congress comes back they got to understand that we need more domestic energy, not less. And one place to find it is offshore America, lands that have been, have been, uh, taken off the book, so to speak, by congressional law. And now they need to give us a chance to find more oil and natural gas here at home.


Reacting to Bush’s statement on MSNBC’s Morning Joe, St. Paul Mayor Chris Coleman (D) called Bush’s statement “the worst pivot ever,” questioning “how you go from hurricane to offshore drilling.” Scarborough agreed. “Just stop!”


When Joe’s asking a fellow Republicon to stop being a raving dumbass, you know the dumbass factor just reached critical levels.

All right. Just one nugget of Sarah Palin trivia. Remember how her “foreign policy cred” included visiting three countries? Well, about that visit to Ireland

She didn’t visit Ireland, which is what the McCain-Palin campaign claimed to Politico’s Ben Smith on Saturday. She had a short refueling stopover, which means at best her extensive Irish diplomacy amounted to buying a sweater and a beer mug in the Shannon airport.


Simply… wow. The audacity of the McCain/Palin camp’s lies is just un-fucking-believable.

Happy Hour Discurso

Don't Be Deceived – McCain Doesn't Give a Rat's Ass if You Drown

With McCain busy using Hurricane Gustav as an excuse to play Commander-in-Chief, I think it’s important for us to remember a few things.

This time round, he rushed to the Gulf Coast so he could feign concern for ordinary Americans and get in some good photo ops. And he might snow a few suckers who don’t understand what he’s doing.

Let me put this in plain terms: he cares because he wants to get elected.

While Obama’s doing the right thing and staying out of the way, using his email list and website to raise funds and monitoring the situation without diverting attention from the emergency response, McCain’s busy grandstanding.

And he’s hoping Americans have a very short-term memory:

Here is what John McCain and George Bush were doing on August 29, 2005, when 1836 Americans started to drown in their own sewage:


What a difference an election year makes.

Lest you get snookered by McCain’s “rapid response” into thinking he’s doing Gulf Coast residents some kind of favor, consider this:

And let’s hope that Mr. McCain doesn’t jet into the disaster area in Gustav’s aftermath. The candidate’s presence wouldn’t do anything to help the area recover. It would, however, tie up air traffic and disrupt relief efforts, just as Mr. Bush did when he flew into New Orleans to congratulate Brownie on the work he was doing. Remember the firefighters who volunteered to help Katrina’s victims, only to find that their first job was to stand next to Mr. Bush while the cameras rolled?

I hear he visited an emergency preparedness center in Mississippi. I’m sure that wasn’t at all disruptive to the preparation efforts.

Steve Benen has an excellent point to make:

John McCain doesn’t have a background in emergency response or disaster relief. None of the people working on the ground answer to him directly, so it’s not like he can give orders or manage the response. Indeed, there’s literally no reason at all to think McCain will be in a position to help recovery efforts in any substantive way.

Yet he gets the press while the prudent Obama, who’s actually doing the right thing, gets ignored. There’s something deeply wrong with a country that wants more sizzle than steak. There’s something pathetic about an electorate that thinks McCain cares more for people than press when it’s actually the other way round:

This is a bit of a pattern for McCain. Earlier this year, he showed up for post-flood photo ops in Iowa, even though the Governor asked him not to come and tie up local law enforcement (Senator Obama chose to honor Governor Culver’s request).

This is the same man piously spouting the party line about disaster relief. He has a funny way of showing his concern, considering he not only diverts attention from rescue and recovery operations so he can get good press, he voted down Katrina relief efforts.

There’s something hellaciously wrong with a country that falls for the “Republicons care!” schtick when the evidence is overwhelming that they only care when it’s election time:

As Salon’s Eric Boehlert reminds us, on the eve of George W. Bush’s 2004 re-election bid the Bush Administration had bodies and supplies and other forms of support lined up in advance of the hurricane season in Florida, the state that put Bush over the top in 2000 and one expected to be close again that fall. A year later, once the votes were in, the nation witnessed the Administration’s lagged, pathetic Katrina-style response and the McCain-Bush cake-cutting revelry. Clearly, the Republicans can do a heckuva job when they want to.

Indeed, now that it is election season again, notice the response. First, Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney conveniently use Gustav as a way to avoid St. Paul, and the GOP convention schedule is scaled back; second, John “Country First” McCain rushes to the Gulf Coast. These are the appropriate responses, sure. But more telling are the twin precedents of 2004 and 2005, for they reveal not that the GOP has learned its lesson, but rather that too many Americans have not learned theirs: Republicans respond differently when it is election season.

So, unless we plan to hold elections every fucking year, we’d best not be putting Republicons in charge of the disaster response again.

Don’t go for glitter. Go for gold.

Housepainting after Katrina

Filling sandbags in Illinois

Don't Be Deceived – McCain Doesn't Give a Rat's Ass if You Drown

It's Like Watching a Train Wreck Caused by an Unhinged Pro-Wrestler with Circus Clowns as the Emergency Response

I think that’s why Sarah Palin fascinates us so.

I’ve been deluged with Palin trivia for days. It’s annoying, yet strangely entertaining. If the McCain team, as they claim, “thoroughly vetted” Palin, it seems they were out to choose the most ridiculous vice president in the history of this country. They’ve succeeded.

This tops Dan Quayle,” widely lampooned in my friend’s little brother’s sixth grade reenactment of the vice presidential debates. He played Gore, and ended the debate with a devastating “Mr. Quayle, learn how to spell potato.” I can only imagine what Ashwin would be saying about Palin. He’s spoiled for attack lines.

Some highlights not previously mentioned in these pages:

1. Sarah Palin on the Pledge of Allegiance: “If it was good enough for the founding fathers, its good enough for me and I’ll fight in defense of our Pledge of Allegiance.”

You know, the fact that it was actually written in 1892 by a Socialist, not to mention that the phrase “Under God” didn’t get crowbarred in there until the 1950s, delights me almost as much as her abysmal grasp of history. Considering how much the Republicons hate Socialists, that’s just priceless.

2. Palin didn’t only defend corruption-plagued Sen. Ted Stevens, she was director of a 527 group called “Ted Stevens Excellence in Public Service, Inc.” The 527 was created by none other than Ted Stevens. Now, that’s good judgement of character!

3. Guess who wanted Alaska to secede from the Union? That’s right – Sarah Palin, who belonged to the Alaskan Independence Party before giving them the big fuck-you. I’m sure McCain will have fun trying to explain how someone who luuurrves America could join a party that puts Alaska before the country.

4. And, finally, no book is safe where Sarah Palin’s concerned:

Stein says that as mayor, Palin continued to inject religious beliefs into her policy at times. “She asked the library how she could go about banning books,” he says, because some voters thought they had inappropriate language in them. “The librarian was aghast.” The librarian, Mary Ellen Baker, couldn’t be reached for comment, but news reports from the time show that Palin had threatened to fire her for not giving “full support” to the mayor.

After the deluge of negatives, you may be wondering exactly why McCain chose Sarah Palin as his running mate. Dday has a pretty good idea:

It certainly doesn’t seem like it, given the stories that have emerged within the past 48-72 hours. But she most certainly was vetted, only not by the McCain campaign. She was vetted by the only group that matters – the super-secretive Council for National Policy.

The CNP deliberately operates below the radar, going to excessive lengths to obscure its activities. According to official CNP policy, “The media should not know when or where we meet or who takes part in our programs before or after a meeting.” Thus the CNP’s Minneapolis gathering was free of reporters. I only learned of the get-together through an online commentary by one of its attendees, top Dobson/Focus on the Family flack Tom Minnery.

Minnery described the mood as CNP members watched Palin accept her selection as John McCain’s Vice Presidential pick. “I was standing in the back of a ballroom filled with largely Republicans who were hoping against hope that something would put excitement back into this campaign,” Minnery said. “And I have to tell you, that speech by Alaska Governor Sarah Palin — people were on their seats applauding, cheering, yelling… That room in Minneapolis watching on the television screen was electrified. I have not seen anything like it in a long time.”

[snip]

That’s all this was about. Forget the press reports grasping at straws trying to figure out this pick, whether it represents a new reform message or was targeted to exurban voters. This was a wet kiss to the religious right.

[snip]

Oh, she was vetted all right. By the religious right. The question is whether or not Palin’s extreme, radical philosophy is distasteful to the wide swath of Americans. In a sane world, the support for creationism and questioning of man-made global warming and rejection of birth control would indeed be disqualifying.

…What this also means is that she was totally forced on John McCain, which must call into question his erratic, shoddy judgment, and his ability to carry out anything but the most extreme agenda.

McCain/Palin ’08: The Batshit Insane Ticket. Putting the Religious Right First.

Except when it’s Alaska.

And I think that says quite enough about their qualifications to lead this country. To wit: zilch.

It's Like Watching a Train Wreck Caused by an Unhinged Pro-Wrestler with Circus Clowns as the Emergency Response

Happy Hour Discurso

Today’s opining on the public discourse.

Republicons party while Gulf Coast gets soaked:

John Dickerson had an item last night about the curtailed Republican National Convention, and the party’s efforts to scale back what was supposed to be quite a soiree. “The vast roster of fundraisers in town has been put to work raising money for the relief effort,” Slate’s Dickerson wrote. “The party atmosphere has been redirected.
The Distilled Spirits Council, aka the booze lobby, has turned its Monday party into a fundraiser for the Red Cross.”

It all sounds rather gracious, but to think Republicans have taken a completely sober attitude about events along the Gulf Coast seems to be a wild exaggeration.

As residents of New Orleans were fleeing Hurricane Gustav, top Republican party officials donned pink boas and swigged vodka shots at a wild whirl of corporate and lobbyist-paid parties this weekend in Minneapolis-St. Paul.

Many corporate sponsors and their lobbyists carried through with plans for lavish entertainment of GOP lawmakers and others despite calls from the campaign of Sen. John McCain that Republicans should tone down the convention festivities. […]

[L]ast night lobbyists for the National Rifle Association, Lockheed Martin and the American Trucking Association put on a raucus six-hour party at a downtown bar featuring music by the band “Hookers and Blow.” There was no evidence of any actual prostitutes or cocaine.


What a relief.

House Deputy Whip Bill Shuster (R-Penn.) said he was praying for the people of the Gulf coast, but saw no need to curtail corporate parties. Wisconsin delegate Jeff Larson agreed, telling ABC News, “Everyone goes through hard times.”

Lamest excuse to keep partying evah.

Speaking of lame, Karl Rove apparently didn’t get the cease-fire memo:

MINNEAPOLIS — Maine’s Republican delegation got a surprise visit from former White House political operative Karl Rove at its convention breakfast this morning.

During his speech, he talked up John McCain’s Republican presidential bid and criticized Democratic nominee Barack Obama for his inexperience.

When the topic of running mates came up, he referred to U.S. Sen. Joe Biden (D-Del.) as a “big, blowhard doofus.”

Everybody was supposed to lay off parties and personal attacks on the campaign trail today in light of Gustav. Once again, Dems play by the rules, Cons just play. Is anyone shocked? I’m having palpitations.

Speaking of palpitations, the media’s having some over Palin’s 17 year old daughter’s freshly-revealed pregnancy. There’s only one reason why this counts at all:

Now, there are different schools of thought on this, but I’m very much inclined to think a politician’s kids are entirely off-limits for public scrutiny. Bristol Palin’s pregnancy has no political relevance whatsoever.

I can’t help but notice, though, that the McCain campaign emphasized the fact that she “made the decision on her own to keep the baby.”

That’s nice, but if McCain has his way in office, the choice wouldn’t be up to her at all. Roe would be overturned, and reproductive rights would be dramatically curtailed for every woman in America. Indeed, it’s not just McCain — Sarah Palin told Alaskans during her gubernatorial campaign that she wouldn’t support abortion rights even if her own daughter had been raped. (Palin is also a staunch advocate of abstinence-only education.)

Excellent, and very valid, point. So, while I’ll run Mommy into the ground for being a lying, two-faced, creationist, dominionist sack of shit, best wishes and congratulations go out to her daughter, who’s going to discover very soon just what it means to be savaged by the media. Her pregnancy doesn’t matter. Her mother’s positions on social issues most certainly do.

And then there’s that corruption et all. You wait until I have time to give y’all an earful later tonight…

For now, must go back to celebrating Labor Day by laboring.

Happy Hour Discurso

Good Luck, Gulf Coast

They’ve got this bearing down on them:

Hurricane Gustav, courtesy NOAA.gov

And they’re being protected by this:

Newspaper image courtesy MixedInk.com

Seriously:

“It blows my mind.”

Those are the words St. Bernard parish president Craig Taffaro used to watch videotape Eyewitness News showed him, of floodwalls built to protect his parish.

“That should be criminal,” Taffaro continues.

What he’s talking about was witnessed by a St. Bernard Parish resident who didn’t want to be identified, but did have sharp criticism of the work done by a contractor hired by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

“It’s like putting a Band-Aid on the hole of a gas tank of an airplane,” the resident said.

Instead of an airplane, it’s a floodwall, and instead of a Band-Aid, the witness says two years ago, he saw the contractor filling the expansion joint or opening between the floodwalls with newspaper.

“The whole length of the wall was stuffed with newspaper.”

And when he confronted the contractor, the contractor blamed Washington for the substandard work.

“He basically told me when Congress sent down the money, it would be repaired the proper way.”

But during a recent trip to the area, two years later, it was apparent that didn’t happen. Much of the newspaper had deteriorated or been eaten by bugs, but some still remained. In fact WWL cameras even captured the date May 21, 2006, on a page of the Parade magazine from the Times-Picayune.

[snip]

But the Army Corps of Engineers says it is confident the floodwall will sufficiently defend residents of St. Bernard and the Ninth Ward.

“If you look at the repairs we made to the joints, there’s not really a safety issue with the joints at all,” said Kevin Wagner with the Army Corps of Engineers.

The Corps also says it’s satisfied with the quality of work done by its contractor. When asked by WWL if there was any shoddy work involved, Wagner said, “I don’t think so at all.”

Are you fucking kidding me?

Three years after Katrina, and the best the Bush regime can come up with to protect New Orleans is newspaper.

At this point, the residents might as well pray as they flee. An imaginary Sky Daddy is going to do them about as much good as their own fucking government.

No wonder Chertoff was saying this the other day:

In a press conference yesterday, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff told residents, “Don’t try to rely upon the fact that the levees are stronger than they were in Katrina to assume that that’s going to necessarily protect you from harm.”

He thinks newspaper-filled levees are stronger. I think my brain just exploded.

And McCain’s playing the McLargeHuge hero by imposing himself on the Gulf Coast at the time when they can least afford distractions, and pretending he weally weally cares about New Orleans.

He has a funny way of showing it. This is McCain in April of this year:

He also told reporters he was not sure if he would rebuild the lower 9th ward as president. “That is why we need to go back is to have a conversation about what to do -rebuild it, tear it down, you know, whatever it is,” he said.

Good luck, Gulf Coast. With friends like these and a monstrous storm on the way, you need all the luck you can get.

(Tip o’ the shotglass to Sadly, No!)

Good Luck, Gulf Coast

All You Need to Know About McCain in One Simple Poem

I’ve been wracking my brain trying to come up with some clever, pithy little soundbites with which to poke fun at McCain’s spectacular confusions.

Thanks to Michael D., I can stop now:

Prof. McCain
Iraq is to Pakistan’s rear,
While Czechoslovakia’s here.

Sunnis are Shi’a,

Sudan is Somalia,

and Putin’s the German premier.

Says it all, dunnit? This needs to go viral, my darlings.

All You Need to Know About McCain in One Simple Poem

My Perfect Band

So, in a fit of writer’s-blocked frustration, I started pulling quotes from some of my new CDs. This was the first time I’d listened to Epica’s The Phantom Agony from beginning to end, and really paid attention to the words.

I’d caught on from songs like “Facade of Reality” that they weren’t too happy with extremism. But that didn’t prepare me for the fact they’re the perfect band for this atheist.

They’re symphonic heavy metal.

They have a fabulous female vocalist.

They have the death-growling male counterpoint.

They fuse metal with operatic elements in a phenomenal way.

Now, usually, bands with all of the above elements rely very heavily on the pagan themes. Which is fantastic for an SF author. But Epica relies on… reality. They make reality itself epic.

That’s just fucking outstanding.

Further proof you really can have the ethereal without the religious woo. You can have transcendence without ever leaving the comfort of actual reality.

At least on this album. I’m not even sure they’re atheists, agnostic, or anything: all I know is they’ve created the perfect atheist album for this girl, and the perfect atheists’ anthem in “Cry for the Moon.”

And that makes me a happy atheist indeed.

Cry For The Moon “The Embrace That Smothers – Part IV”

Follow your common sense
You cannot hide yourself behind a fairytale forever and ever
Only by revealing the hole truth can we disclose
The soul of this sick bulwark forever and ever
Forever and ever

Indoctrinated minds so very often
Contain sick thoughts
And commit most of the evil they preach against

Don’t try to convince me with messages from God
You accuse us of sins committed by yourselves
It’s easy to condemn without looking in the mirror
Behind the scenes opens reality

Eternal silence cries out for justice
Forgiveness is not for sale
Nor is the will to forget

Virginity has been stolen at very young ages
And the extinguisher loses it’s immunity
Morbid abuse of power in the garden of Eden
Where the apple gets a youthful face

You can’t go on hiding yourself
Behind old fashioned fairytales
And keep washing your hands in innocence

My Perfect Band

Happy Hour Discurso

Today’s opining on the public discourse.

How soon he forgets:

When asked to judge the Bush administration this morning during an interview with Fox News’s Chris Wallace, Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) said “history will judge that” but then immediately began making an attempt to distance himself from President Bush. One area of “disagreement” McCain cited was torture:

McCAIN: I obviously don’t want to torture any prisoners. There’s a long list of areas that we were in disagreement on –

WALLACE: You’re not suggesting he did want to torture prisoners.

McCAIN: Well, waterboarding to me is torture, OK? And waterboarding was advocated by the administration and, according to published reports, was used. But the point
is, we’ve had our disagreements.


[snip]

McCain seems to forget that he voted against a bill that would have banned the CIA from using waterboarding. In fact, when the bill passed, McCain urged Bush to veto it, which he did. Thus, McCain’s claim that he “obviously doesn’t want to torture prisoners” rings hollow. Indeed, because of Bush’s veto, the CIA retains the option of waterboarding
prisoners…

Amazing how easily he forgets inconvenient little facts like, oh, you know, cheerleading for torture. Maybe he was confused – Bush calls it “enhanced interrorgation,” and I can see where an immature fuckwit might misunderstand what’s actually being discussed.

He’s also a bit unclear on the concept of supporting the minimum wage:

Today on Fox News Sunday, host Chris Wallace asked Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) why he has voted 17 times against raising the federal minimum wage. (Wallace later corrected himself and pointed out it was 19 times, to which McCain dismissively replied, “Well, or 29 or 49, whatever it is.”) McCain initially attempted to wriggle out of answering by talking about tax cuts.

But when pressed again by Wallace, McCain claimed that he opposed the increases only because they were attached to unrelated spending bills:

McCAIN: I’m for the minimum wage increases when they are not attached to other big-spending pork barrel. The practice in Washington is attach a good thing to a bad thing. And that way, then you have to vote yes or no. […]

Well, fair enough. I can almost see voting against the minimum wage increase 19 times because it was attached to odious bills. There’s just one problem with that explanation:

Ironically, one of the only times McCain actually did support a minimum wage increase was when it was tied to a war funding bill. But on at least 15 occasions, McCain has opposed minimum wage increases that were stand-alone amendments or bills. On April 7, 2000, he even voted against a non-binding “sense of the Senate” resolution “concerning an increase in the Federal minimum wage.”

Heh heh heh oops. He should’a played the POW card.

McCain seems to be going for the “All lies, all the time” style o’ campaign. Sarah Palin’s fitting right in there:

The good news is, the McCain campaign is now starting to tell the public about Sarah Palin’s accomplishments in Alaska. The bad news is, the principal example of Palin’s strength as a leader is a blatant falsehood.

On a couple of the Sunday morning shows, John McCain and his chief surrogates touted Palin’s opposition to the now-infamous “bridge to nowhere,” a $398 million bridge to connect the town of Ketchikan to an island with 50 residents. To McCain and his supporters, Palin’s firm stand against the congressional earmark is compelling evidence of her courage and conviction.

But what McCain and his cohorts are claiming is simply untrue. Palin supported the funding for the project, and kept the federal funds after the bridge deal fell through. Indeed, she ran for governor on a “build-the-bridge platform,” and ended up directing federal funds to other wasteful pork projects, for fear of having to return unused tax dollars funds to the federal government.


Perfect match, she is. Lying from Day One, already practiced in abusing power, clueless on foreign policy… he made the right choice for his Veep.

Maybe they think the more outrageous the lies, the more attention won’t be drawn away from them and fixed on the monstrous hurricane barrelling down on the Gulf Coast. Poor McCain – his biggest fans are abandoning him to go storm chasing:

Today, GOP officials “announced they would hold only essential party business required under its rules on Monday” at their convention in Minnesota. Party officials “have decided that Monday’s session will open at 3 p.m. Central time and probably end at 5 to 5:30 p.m. and will be limited to official business like adopting the platform and electing convention officers.” The New York Times reports on what the media will be doing:

The major television networks are pulling some of their top talent out of Minneapolis, promising to diminish, if not upend, coverage of the convention. Katie Couric will head to the Gulf Coast to open the “CBS Evening News” from there Monday night, instead of from the convention hall as planned. Charles Gibson of ABC News and Brian Williams of NBC News are expected to do the same.


Yup. Everybody’s headed South. Good thing he’s decided to head right down there with ’em, eh? Not like he’ll be underfoot as authorities desperately scramble to evacuate citizens and save lives at all. Noper.

Anything for a photo op, huh, John? And all Obama’s doing is staying the fuck out of the way, monitoring the situation closely without getting underfoot, and preparing to rally millions of donors and volunteers to help with the disaster once the scope of it’s known. He’s merely acting presidential, not looking it. Silly him.

Stay safe, New Orleans. St. Johnny’s on the way: I’m sure all those camera crews and very serious photo sessions will do loads to help you all survive this.

Happy Hour Discurso