stupidity

Expelled: No Wonder They Call It "No Intelligence Allowed"

jacob1 Comment

You know, it’s pretty fucking pathetic when I could be blindfolded, blind stinking drunk, standing on one leg on a pilates ball, shooting a compound bow with my tongue, and still manage to hit me some stupid from Expelled & Co.

It’s almost epic. It’s beyond farce. We need to stop answering them with science and produce Expelled! The Musical. It’s already pure fucking comedy: all we need are some catchy tunes.

I can’t even do a takedown here. I just can’t. Others have done the work, and what follows is a compendium. If you haven’t had your daily dose of overwhelming fuckwittery, or if you just need a good reason to whack your forehead into your desk until unconscious, go follow the links, my darlings.

Valerie Tarico from the Huffington Post introduces us to a useful new word: Manufactroversy.

Scientific controversy exists only when the jury of relevant experts is out on whether a new finding meets the standard of evidence. The debate and evidence gathering still are in process. A manufactroversy is when someone motivated by profit or ideology fosters confusion in the public mind long after scientists have moved on to the next set of questions. Think tobacco and lung cancer. Think Exxon and global warming. Now think Ben Stein and evolution.

Elegant. Simple. Hits like a sledgehammer. And the whole article’s like that. I especially love her list of IDiot tactics, including their newest one: whining.

I suspect, for their next trick, we’ll see them falling down screaming and pounding their little fists into the floor.

Efrique over at Ecstathy has started counting the number of commandments the Expelled crew has broken:

The makers of Expelled have taken lying to the form of art, or at least artifice. They lied to obtain their interviews – lied about the film’s title and purpose, lied in the film, lied in marketing it. The whole “not bearing false witness” thing is apparently only a suggestion. Certainly it doesn’t carry the force of the cryptotheist’s only commandment – Promoting creationism’s lies shalt be the whole of the law.”

But it doesn’t end there. Apparently a few other biblical commandments are also mere suggestions, not, well, commandments.

It’s pretty sad when they can be taken down by an atheist on the basis of their own faith, you know.

In keeping with the Biblical theme, John Lynch at Stranger Fruit makes a kindly suggestion about seeing to the log in one own’s eye. I’m not going to quote from the piece. It needs to be read as a whole so you can appreciate the beautiful snap at the end.

On to plagarism and nasty legal issues. In case anyone was suffering any doubt that the animation The Inner Life of a Cell was ripped off by the Expelled crew, David Bolinsky weighs in with an open letter. I sort of get the impression that maybe he knows what he’s talking about, considering, you know, he was one of the chief medical illustrators involved in creating the original:

Given the vast number of structures to be removed, and given the structures remaining “on camera”, whose positioning and relationships,
both aesthetic and functional, needed to remain true to the function and beauty of molecular biology, it is inconceivable, mathematically, that the animator hired by EXPELLED’s producers, independently and randomly came up with the same identical actin filament mesh XVIVO depicted in one scene, which had never before been rendered anywhere in 3D! It is astonishing that among well over a dozen functional kinesins from which an animator might choose, we both chose the
same configuration of kinesin, pulling the same protein-studded vesicle, on the same microtubule! Can YOU believe we coincidentally picked the same camera angles and left in the same specific structures in the background, positioned with the same composition?

When you put it that way, no. But do go on:

To Mr. Dembski: The only reason I am involved in this discussion is because I do not want the reputation of my company, hard-earned as
it is, to be sullied by even oblique affiliation to your sort of smarmy ethics, if only through works of ours, purloined to fit your agenda. Last year you were charging colleges thousands of dollars to give lectures showing a copy of The Inner Life of the Cell, you claimed you “found somewhere”, with Harvard’s and XVIVO’s credits stripped out and the copyright notice removed (which is in itself a felony) and a creationist voice-over pasted on over our music (yes, I have a recording of your lecture). Harvard slapped you down for that, and yes there is a paper trail. One can only assume that had we not taken notice then,
we would be debating The Inner Life of the Cell being used in EXPELLED, instead of a copy.

I haven’t any doubts on this point, either. Especially in light of what Mr. Dumbski – excuse me, Freudian slip there – Dembski had to say:

I ve gotten to know the producers quite well. As far as I can tell, they
made sure to budget for lawsuits. Also, I know for a fact that they have one of the best intellectual property attorneys in the business. I expect that the producers made their video close enough to the Harvard video to get tongues awagging (Headline: Harvard University Seeks Injunction Against Ben Stein and EXPELLED you think that might generate interest in the movie?), but different enough so that they are unexposed.

Un-fucking-believable. And I thought Behe was the world champion of shooting one’s own side in the foot. I’m going to make a prediction here, but don’t call me a psychic if it comes true: I expect that once this whole fiasco has wound its way through the courts, Expelled’s so-called best intellectual property attorney is going to be a laughingstock. Furthermore, I predict it’ll turn out Dembski was just a tad wrong about that attorney being so great to begin with. I mean, look who’s making the assessment.

Abby at ERV delivers a full-course banquet in Expelled’s latest dumbfuckitude. I present you the appetizer, the main coursehttp://endogenousretrovirus.blogspot.com/2008/04/anyone-want-seconds.html, and of course, dessert. Enjoy!

I just want to highlight the dumbest thing Dembski said:

BOTTOM LINE: Before you think the producers of EXPELLED are idiots, you might think that they are chess players who have seen several
moves ahead.


Chess players, William? Would these be the kind of chess players who shout “Hey, look! It’s Deep Blue!” and switch the pieces on the board when their opponent looks away? Because that’s the only fucking way these fuckwits are going to win at chess even against a player with massive brain damage and the palsy. Reality really doesn’t have any meaning for you, does it? Getting sued for plagarism and theft of intellectual property is no way to advertise a film that asks for a seat at the academic’s table. On the other hand, it’s a damned good way to prove that your entire premise is dishonest bullshit.

You know, one of these days, I think I’ll have to amble down to the good ol’ Discovery Institute and ask William personally if he’s this fucking stupid naturally or if he has to work at it. The man’s a museum piece. If they ever have an exhibit of all-time dumbest bastards, he’ll be a contender.

Expelled: No Wonder They Call It "No Intelligence Allowed"
{advertisement}

Rep. Monique Davis to Atheists: "You Have No Right to be Here!"

jacob1 Comment
And in reply, madam, I say, “Wrong answer, but thank you for proving my point, as well as giving me an unexpected dose of hope.”

I believe I mentioned somewhere before that I left the church not because science made me an atheist, but because other Christians did. Rep. Monique Davis (D?!-Chicago) is a shining example of the kind of narrow-minded, venom-spewing hate monger masquerading under the costume of God-Fearing Christian who sent me fleeing for the peaceful hills of atheism.

Here is what she had to say to Rob Sherman, active atheist and concerned community member, who was testifying before the House State Government Administration Committee in Illinois:

Davis: I don’t know what you have against God, but some of us don’t have much against him. We look forward to him and his blessings. And it’s really a tragedy — it’s tragic — when a person who is engaged in anything related to God, they want to fight. They want to fight prayer in school.

I don’t see you (Sherman) fighting guns in school. You know?

I’m trying to understand the philosophy that you want to spread in the state of Illinois. This is the Land of Lincoln. This is the Land of Lincoln where people believe in God, where people believe in protecting their children.… What you have to spew and spread is extremely dangerous, it’s dangerous–

Sherman: What’s dangerous, ma’am?

Davis: It’s dangerous to the progression of this state. And it’s dangerous for our children to even know that your philosophy exists! Now you will go to court to fight kids to have the opportunity to be quiet for a minute. But damn if you’ll go to [court] to fight for them to keep guns out of their hands. I am fed up! Get out of that seat!

Sherman: Thank you for sharing your perspective with me, and I’m sure
that if this matter does go to court—

Davis: You have no right to be here! We believe in something. You believe in destroying! You believe in destroying what this state was built upon.


And here is a complete list of the news organizations carrying the story as of 4:24am Pacific:


That’s right. One (1) (Un, uno, ein). Six days later, we have precisely one (1) news source all over this story.

If she’d been hating on gays, Jews, Catholics, single moms, drug addicts, lepers, Rush Limbaugh, or just about anybody else, this would have been nonstop news. Of course it would have been: she’s a Democrat (?!). A black Democrat, no less. Who attends Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s church. Doesn’t this just seem like a right-wing mouth-breather’s dream? But she’s hating on atheists, so it’s all okay. Everybody hates atheists. QED.

As it turns out, she’s wrong about that. And that’s why I’m not sitting here cussing up a blue streak, outraged beyond belief, calling her a bigoted God-blind fuckwit with the IQ of a small piece of asparagus (apologies to asparagus). That’s why, although I’m horrified by the idea that an elected official can tell a citizen of the United States of America that he has no right to be here without the media ripping her to shreds, I’m not calling her a dangerous fucking fanatic who is a disgrace to the Democratic Party and should be summarily removed from office. And it’s why I’m not focusing this post on the fact that she’s so fucking ignorant about Lincoln’s religious beliefs that it would be funny if it wasn’t so bloody pathetic.

Tirades like that against a person simply for being an atheist have absolutely no place in American government, State or otherwise. No American citizen should be subjected to such invective from an elected representative performing in his or her capacity. Americans would be pretty bloody stupid to cheer on this kind of foaming-at-the-mouth hate and spite and not realize what it means for their rights, too. Christians should be ashamed that another Christian – elected to represent the people – could say such things.

They should be. And they are.

I have, to paraphrase Michelle Obama, never been so damned proud of my fellow Americans in my life.

All of you. Atheists, Jews, Christians, agnostics, secular humanists, callow youth and venerable aged, one and all, you spoke out. For fuck’s sake, even the Conservative blog I stumbled across reading up on this incident shocked me – it was rational, decent, thoughtful. What the fuck, you conservatives? No sneering attacks that of course she’d say shit like that because she’s a black Democrat who attends Wright’s church? (Okay, there were a couple, but not many.) You mean you weren’t leaping to her defense because while she’s an icky black Democrat who goes to Wright’s church, you gotta admit she’s right about them thar evil, dangerous atheists? You seriously fucking sat back and looked at this and said, “It’s wrong for Americans, Christians and our Country?”

I didn’t expect this. I clicked on that link on Google because I was certain that here, here, would definitely be the attitude I expected when I first read this story (tip o’ the shot glass to PZ). Here would be the intolerance, the bigotry, the narrow-minded, gleeful “atheist got his comeuppance!” invective I’d been expecting all along. I hadn’t found it in the comments thread to the original article. I hadn’t found it on Yahoo! Answers (and that’s a place I’d given up on as hopeless a long time ago). And I didn’t find it at the Illinois Review.

Incredible.

I knew the atheists would get it: that what Rep. Davis did was utterly beyond the pale, had nothing to do with American values, and didn’t belong in our government.

But Christians got it. Conservatives got it. Joe and Jane Q. Public got it. For the first time in a long time, people seemed to understand what this separation of Church and State thing was all about. And that gives me an unbelievable degree of hope.

I spend a lot of time in this blog screaming at the stupid fucking people who want to impose their authoritarian, batshit-insane fanatical Christianity on every citizen in this land. I rip and claw and tear at neocons and theocons, agents of intolerance who are trying to burn the Constitution, revise our history, and turn this country into a farce of democracy. I do hope the rest of you realize that it’s aimed at a narrow segment. That segment turns out to be a lot narrower than I believed. And that is incredible good news.

There are true Christians left in this land. True conservatives have survived. Moderates are battered but not broken. And we liberals, we have room for the lot of you. Even the eeviiil atheists among us, we’re willing to find common ground. It’s starting to look as if there’s some good rational territory left for us to meet on where we can laugh at the fanatics together. It’s starting to look as though we can find things to build on together. Our differences can be accommodated. Sure as shit, we’ll never agree on everything, but that was never the point, was it? We just need to make enough room for each other, keep the intolerant fuckheads at bay, is all.

Remember this moment, my darlings. Remember that when you were faced with an elected official telling a citizen that he had no right to be here because of his lack of belief, you stood up and said, “Excuse me, but no. That’s not what Christianity is about. That’s not what America is about.”

Remember it the next time some complete bastard tries to persuade you that American government should do away with all that secular nonsense and open its arms wide to religion. Because if you don’t, I’ll be blogging about how some raving fundamentalist Christian was screaming at a Catholic, or a Lutheran, or a Methodist, “You have no right to be here!”

And I really don’t want to have to do that.

As for Rep. Davis: I await your abject apology, Madam. And I suggest you mean it. You have not only your atheist constituents to atone to, you have an apology to make to your Christian, Jewish, Muslim, agnostic, et al ones as well.

Enormous shot glass of premium tequila raised high to Eric Zorn of the Chicago Tribune, who broke this story, and who has one of the most awesome comments sections evah.

Rep. Monique Davis to Atheists: "You Have No Right to be Here!"

Can't. Do. Armitage. *thump*

jacob

Mark Armitage cc’d PZ on an email he sent to another fuckwit.
…

The stupid in this… it has defeated me. This man should become a circus freak: “World’s Most Incredible Delusional Dipshit.”

I thought it was a joke. Seriously. I thought PZ had to be pranking us. This man is a parody of the Creationist mentality. Can’t be for real.

He is. And he cc’s PZ on shit like this:

I’ve been busy. My book called “Jesus is like my Scanning Electron Microscope” has been published, I had an awesome hands-on microscope workshop at the lab in AZ with 15 students who learned about microscopy in the Bible and the
evidence for a young earth (complete with electron microscopes), and I have heard from another 6 schools there that want to have a workshop.

Poor home state. Poor Arizona. I’m sorry. I should have stayed. I should have been there for you, fighting the raging stupid. I couldn’t do it. I failed like Caped Chameleon failed. Can’t. Do. Armitage.

Fortunately, Pharyngula readers can, and they spanked him black and blue in the comments. With poetry, even.

I have to go lie down until my sides stop aching. Here’s some Tick to keep you entertained. Caped Chameleon’s at about 2:06:

Can't. Do. Armitage. *thump*

Cheap Laughs: Fun With Creationists

jacob2 Comments

This is like the duckshoot at a carnival – when you have a bazooka. I don’t even have to take aim to hit me some stupid:

Michael Behe, Greatest Expert Witness Evah. Just listen to the judge tell it:

Plaintiffs’ own biology expert, Professor Michael Behe testified that “it is personally abusive and pedagogically damaging to de facto require students to subscribe to an idea . . . . Requiring a student to, effectively, consent to an idea violates [her] personal integrity. Such a wrenching violation [may cause] a terrible educational outcome.”

Yet, the two Christian biology texts at issue commit this “wrenching violation.”


That’s right. Behe, in defending his own side, managed to hit it with a tactical nuke instead. One has to wonder: is the man this stupid, or is he an extremely clever scientist working as a mole?

Don’t forget to drop by John Pieret’s place for a heaping helping of snark, and a terrific illustration of what happened in this case. For more in-depth coverage, see Mike Dunford over at the Questionable Authority.

You know what, this isn’t fair. Let me down a few shots of Herradura before I reload.

That really didn’t help. Now we’ve got a mathematician taking the morons apart:

Bad from the Bad Ideas Blog sent me a link to some clips from Ben Stein’s new Magnum Opus, “Expelled”. I went and took a look. Randomly, I picked one that looked like a clip from the movie rather than a trailer – it’s the one titled “Genetic Mutation”.

Care to guess how long it took me to find an insane, idiotic error?

4 seconds.

It’s the old “evolution can’t create information” scam.


Four seconds. Damn. I mean, I would’ve thought they could go four fucking seconds without lying, but no.

Oh, and speaking of lying…

Received an e-mail this morning notifying me (and five others) that the Tempe screening has been canceled. Interesting thing is that the original mailing I received had a further 15 names on it. In addition, “boughtbythecross,” “homeschoolma,” and “covenant-dad” were not CCed on the e-mail I received today. Interesting.


Indeed. They’re inept enough to send out mass emails wherein the universe can see who’s on their mailing list, and then they send out less massive emails announcing to a select few that the show’s cancelled. Gee. I wonder why they didn’t email everybody?

Well, Ken McKnight called the theater today two or so hours before the
screening. Ken says:

I just called the Arizona Mills Harkins theater and said that I had heard that the private screening of Expelled had been moved from 7:00 to 6:00 (I didn’t mention that I had been emailed that the showing was canceled). The person I spoke to confirmed that the movie is showing today at 6:00. Clearly the promoters are somehow screening the attendees and then sending out cancellation notices to the “undesirables.”

You know, they’d have a lot easier time of cleverly weeding out the dissenting voices if they weren’t so fucking stupid. I’m going to die of alcohol poisoning before I can give these fucktards a fair chance.

I think I’m going to go do something more challenging, like catching politicians in a lie.

Cheap Laughs: Fun With Creationists

Speak Up, My Darlings, Before They Bung You Out on Your Ear

jacob

Just got an email from Carolyn Fredrickson at the ACLU:

“You’re fired!”

Those are the words that millions of Americans could hear if Congress passes the SAVE Act.

The SAVE Act would require every employer in the U.S. to use so-called “electronic employment verification,” cross-checking all current and potential employees’ citizenship status against databases that the government itself knows are filled with errors and inaccuracies.

[snip]

The SSA estimates its records contain at least 17.8 million errors, of which 12.7 million involve U.S. citizens. Bills with mandatory employment verification, including the SAVE Act (H.R. 4088), contain no assurances that government databases will be accurate and updated, no privacy protections for the vast amounts of personal information to be handled by employers and absolutely no recourse for workers who are wrongfully denied employment.


Why, what a brilliant idea! Let’s use a deeply-flawed government database to verify people’s employment! And then let’s make sure there’s no way for people flagged by it to get their records corrected! It’ll work just as well as the No-Fly List!

Heh heh heh whoops.

Do me and yourselves a favor, would you, darlings, and go pop your name onto this nifty letter to your representative. Tell them that if they vote for this stinking pile of shit, you’ll take your vote elsewhere. Thanks ever so much.

Speak Up, My Darlings, Before They Bung You Out on Your Ear

Passing Observations

jacob

Today must have been National Retard Day. And I’m just scratching the surface here, my darlings.

Let’s start with a bit o’ my personal history. Way back when I was in high school, full of vim and vigor and needing money in the worst possible way, I got the crazy idea that joining the Army would be a great way to pay for college. That enterprise ended in disillusionment.

Look, you want to keep volunteers, you don’t herd them all together into a depressing building that smells of ancient linoleum and cranky old men. You don’t process them using ancient geezers in godawful-pea-green uniforms that look like they came off the rack at Wal-Mart, mooching about the place with bowed heads and bitter stares. You especially don’t have a Methuselah with skin the texture of a dessicated lizzard performing the physical exams, and you’re really fucking stupid to do all of this where the now-doubtful recruits can see the Navy boys in their sharp so-blue-they’re-almost-black uniforms sailing down the halls with their chins up and the pride billowing out from them like Greek fire. None of us needed the money that badly. And, since we couldn’t switch to the Navy right then and there, we all said “Sod this for a game of larks” and went home.

Good thing, too:

Robert Lopez served 8 years in our military, fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan as a tank commander. He was told he’d get his whole education bill paid for when he got out of the service.

Yeah, they told me the same thing. So how much do they cover?

Whereas veterans used to be able to count on the government to pay for all of their college expenses, troops returning from Iraq and Afghanistan are finding that the GI Bill barely scratches the surface of today’s college costs.



So what this basically means is, I would have served my country, and then come back to find out I’d have to pay for my own damned education, just like Lopez. Not. Fucking. Worth it.

And what’s McCain doing about that, pray tell?

…Senators Jim Webb and Chuck Hagel proposed a new GI Bill, which would bring back WWII-style standards of providing vets with full tuition, room and board. And that is why 51 senators have signed on, including 9 Republicans like John Warner, giving this GI Bill tremendous bi-partisan support.

But it isn’t enough. Faced with unprecedented filibusters, the only way
to ensure Senate passage of the GI Bill is to get 60 cosponsors. So far, John McCain has refused.

Ah. Bugger-all. That’s right. What else did I expect?

Shorter John McCain: “Fuck the troops. Big Daddy Bush don’t want me voting for this, I ain’t gonna.”

And the stupid’s not limited to Republicons today. Oh, hell no. Some Democrats were standing behind the door with their buddies in the Republicon party when the common sense was handed out:

South Jersey Rep. Rob Andrews announced yesterday he will challenge four-term incumbent U.S. Sen. Frank Lautenberg for the Democratic nomination in a primary that is bound to become a battle of the generations.

“The people of the state want a choice and they want a change,” said Andrews, who is 50. Lautenberg is 84 and has represented New Jersey in the U.S. Senate for almost a quarter-century.

[snip]

Lautenberg’s campaign manager, Brendan Gill, said the primary “will be a unique opportunity for Democrats to make a clear choice: Whether to choose Senator Lautenberg, who has consistently stood up to George Bush, or Congressman Andrews, who helped write Bush’s resolution to go to war with Iraq.”

Bravo, sir. That was an excellent response to a total fuckwit. Very politic. I’m sure what you really wanted to say was “Oh, yes, New Jersey’s just been begging for another batshit insane wanna-be Republicon senator.”

Carpetbagger has Andrews’s campaign slogan all ready for him:

Andrews doesn’t even appear to have a rationale for opposing Lautenberg, outside of the fact that Andrews simply wants a promotion to the Senate, and thinks this might be his chance. With Lamont and Edwards, they could go to voters and say, “The incumbent sides with Republicans on issues that matter.” With Andrews, he’s prepared to go to voters and say, “The incumbent is an octogenarian.” (emphasis added)


Yeah. Let’s get those bumper stickers made!

Finally, no trip through the stupid-o-sphere would be really complete without seeing what Karl Rove’s been up to these days. Oh, so he had an interview with GQ, eh? I’ll just bet that was full of substantial and savvy observations:

At one point during the lengthy discussion, Rove explained why he rejects the notion that Republicans will support Obama in fairly large numbers, and actually believes it’s McCain who can win over Dems.

Rove: There are Democrats, particularly blue-collar Democrats, who defect to McCain because they see McCain as a patriotic figure and they see Obama as an elitist who’s looking down is nose at ’em. Which he is. That comment where he said, you know, “After 9/11, I didn’t wear a flag lapel pin because true patriotism consists of speaking out on the issues, not wearing a flag lapel pin”? Well, to a lot of ordinary people, putting that flag lapel pin on is true patriotism. It’s a statement of their patriotic love of the country. And for him to sit there and dismiss it as he did—

GQ: You’re not wearing a flag pin, Karl.

Rove: Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. But I respect those who consciously get up in the morning and put a flag lapel pin on.


Dear Karl: Shut the fuck up. Jesus fucking Christ, I don’t have enough lifetimes to parse the stupid in that snippet. If you’re going to spout off about how true patriotism is wearing a fucking flag pin, at least be wearing a fucking flag pin when you do so. Never mind the sheer fuckwittery of the rest of what you said.

By his lights, the woman who called me after 9/11 wanting American flags embroidered on literally every inch of her company shirts must be presidential material.

Somebody give me a drink. I can take no more.

Passing Observations

Mark Mathis Opens Mouth, Proves Stupidity (Again)

jacob

Someday, I’m going to write my Great American Novel, Cornflakes. I’ve been gathering material for it going on two decades now. It’s about the rampant stupidity of certain human beings. Mark Mathis, Associate Producer of Expelled, has earned his place within it, for verily, he is a corny flake.

Well, actually, he’s a total fuckwit, but the novel’s not called Fuckwits, alas. Perhaps it should be.

Many of you will have had the great good fortune of not knowing just who the fuck Mathis is. I’m sorry to be the one to draw your attention to this raving lunatic. Just take comfort in the fact that, despite all of his efforts to draw attention to himself, you had no clue who he was before I foisted him on your attention. Those of you who needed no introduction, my sympathies.

Perhaps the only thing you need to know about Mathis is that he’s one of those lying sacks of shit making sensible Christians feel ashamed of their brethren. That, anyway, is all the introduction I’m willing to give him: He’s one of the bastards responsible for the atrocity that is Expelled, and he’s a lying sack of shit. Everybody say hi to Mr. Mathis.

Now that introductions are taken care of, let us proceed.

I wanted to thoroughly spank Mathis for a few particular inanities he spouted in that “conference” call so spectacularly interrupted by PZ Myers. I know I don’t have to wear my own arm out – just search ScienceBlogs for “Mark Mathis” and you’ll see what I mean – but I just get this twitch when I’m confronted with this level of inanity. Paddling his tender bottom will help that twitch subside.

Brother Richard from Life Without Faith was part of that conference call, and he was so kind as to post his raw notes. One of the questions and answers in particular caught my eye, but before we get to that, let me share the Mathis quote that had me nearly pounding the floor with laughter. Appetizer, then main course, as it were:

[Mathis] also points out that he had a personal grudge against Myers and he wanted him to have to pay for the movie. He points out that he let Michael Shermer attend another viewing and that Shermer enjoyed the film. [emphasis added]

Let’s put aside the fact that Mathis only settled on the “personal grudge” excuse after trying the “PZ was causing a disturbance” excuse (he wasn’t) and the “Myers and Dawkins were gate-crashers” excuse (they weren’t). That isn’t what made me nearly fall to the ground in hysterical laughter. Look again at the line in bold.

Michael Shermer? Michael Shermer? Seriously Michael Shermer, you mean, the founding publisher of Skeptic magazine? The one who had this to say about Mathis:

My take on Mathis is that he’s an opportunist. He says and does whatever he thinks necessary to get his film made and now promoted. My guess on the latest flap about tossing PZ out of the screening but not Dawkins was PZ’s original assumption that they just didn’t notice Dawkins there, and only after the fact rationalizing the whole affair with plausible (and ever changing) reasons.

And this about Ben Stein:

I also pointed out to him that Darwin has been used and abused by ideologues of all stripes, and that in any case that is all separate from
whether the science is good or not. That seemed to tax his thinking too much, because shortly after he announced that he had to take a rest break and he just got up and went out to his car for about 20 minutes!

[snip]

Then Stein came back in and that’s when we walked around the office with the handheld camera to get some B-Roll footage, and they showed him asking me about my books, and that’s where I told him I thought ID was much closer to pseudoscience than science.

That Michael Shermer? Oh, yeah. I’ll bet he enjoyed the film. It must have been the same sort of life-changing experience as being interviewed for it by those two assclowns.

And yet, that wasn’t the most inane thing Mathis said. That wasn’t what had my spanking arm twitching. Brother Richard notes:

The question is asked, if the issues are just about science, then why are so many Darwinists upset? Why do they have such passionate anger? Mathis says that Darwinism is a worldview. Scientists like Myers and Dawkins are scared because their atheistic worldview might come crashing down on their heads.


This is wrong in so many ways that it’s going to take me the rest of the night to deconstruct it. Grab yourselves some snackage and drinkage and make yourselves comfortable. We’re in for the long haul.

Firstly, “Darwinism” is only a worldview in the miniscule mind of Mathis and those of his ilk (and how I wish I didn’t have to add that last bit). Rational people who enjoy objective evidence for claims of how life came by its incredible diversity have accepted the scientific theory of evolution because it provides abundant evidence of said diversity, no myth required. If someone proved by means of objective scientific evidence that evolutionary theory was incorrect, and came up with a better explanation, our world would not end. Thinkers such as ourselves are quite used to adjusting to new evidence. I refer you to the excitement rather than panic when Einstein’s theory of relativity nudged Newton aside for a good example of this.

As for people like PZ Myers and Richard Dawkins being scared that their “atheistic worldview might come crashing down on their heads”… puh-leeze. I’m no scientist, merely an avid consumer of same, but I am an atheist, and I can tell you that the last thing I’m scared of is having that worldview come crashing down. We’re not angry because we’re scared. We’re passionately angry because we can’t stand lying sacks of shit trying to force their useless dogma on us.

“Why do we have such passionate anger?” I have a few ideas. And I can tell you why I’m spending so much time and energy fighting these assclowns and the poison they’re pushing with this propaganda flick.

1. The (scientific) theory of evolution has led to medical breakthroughs that save lives. Intelligent Design has not. Au contraire, “Goddidit” and pseudoscientific explanations do nothing to further the science that gives us new treatments for disease, and sometimes they kill.

2. Intelligent Design is not science. It has no claim to be treated as such, and therefore deserves expulsion. Academic freedom isn’t even in it. So it really pisses me off when some total bastards try to get their religion into the classroom by playing us for fair-play suckers. They want Intelligent Design in the classroom, fine – it can go in Comparative Religion where it belongs.

3. Three words: Creationism’s Trojan Horse. Two more words for you: Wedge Doc
ument. Real sci
ence doesn’t have to come up with systematic schemes to lie and cheat and game the system to get recognized as science. Even if it weren’t for the above two items, the IDiot’s whining claims for equal time and the right to academic freedom would be annihilated by the stunning intellectual dishonesty their strategy displays. Credibility destroyed(.pdf).

4. Science class is for science, not pseudoscience, not the frontiers. And for those who claim Intelligent Design can be introduced and then debunked, face facts: you’d cry bloody murder, infringement on religious rights, persecution, the whole works. You don’t want it debunked, you want it enforced. So even that little strategem fails. ID doesn’t belong in the classroom under any pretense, period.

5. But I know they don’t give a shit about science or integrity, so I’ll just mention this: it’s bad religion. It’s harming the Christian mainstream message. Go on. Everyone, now, even the IDiots in the audience. Go read the whole comment I linked to. It’s on a Christian message board, so you don’t have to associate with those icky atheist scientists.

You know you’ve fucked up when your religious compatriots are saying that “the ‘Intelligent Design’ movement is a plan by Satan to discredit the Gospel in the minds of many…,” eh?

So let’s review: the fuckwits pushing Intelligent Design are floating a pseudoscientific raft of bullshit under the misnomer “Theory of Intelligent Design.” Their “science” has made not one useful contribution to medicine, while evolutionary theory has. They lie six ways of Thursday and have nefarious little plans on sneaking their fanaticism into the classroom. They’re making things miserable for their fellow religious travellers. And they think scientists and atheists are just scared our worldview might be challenged? They think we’re fighting them because of that?

Worldview isn’t even in it.

And sadly, my five points above have just barely scratched the surface. I encourage you, even if you think Intelligent Design can’t harm you, to click on a few of the above links. It’s not just about Intelligent Design trying to edge out evolution in classrooms, my darlings, although that should be quite enough – this country is failing miserably at science education, and it’s not like adding religious pablum will make it any better.

No.

It’s not just that.

It’s about keeping the fanatics from getting a toehold. They catch enough young ears and bend them, we’re all going to end up in a theocracy run by the most outrageous elements of the Religious Right, and I damned sure don’t want to wake up to that world in a few years. Neither do you.

I’m not asking you to do anything more than be vigilant. Watch out for the lies. Keep the theocrats out of our government, our school boards, and our personal lives. Don’t be swayed by the silver tongues of the terminally stupid. You’ll feel badly if you end up featured in Cornflakes right there beside Mathis.

Tip o’ the shot glass to Brother Richard.

Mark Mathis Opens Mouth, Proves Stupidity (Again)

Oh, Noes! They Got My Best Friend!

jacob

The hardest thing about embracing my atheism and deciding to do my part in calling creationists out on their bullshit is the wall it’s put up between my best friend and I.

Take tonight. There we were, having a fairly decent conversation about life, the universe and everything. I can’t even remember how we got to this point – it was that innocuous a conversation – but his church’s views on evolution had come up, probably due to my crowing over PZ’s pranking the Expelled crew, and without any warning, a creationist talking point comes tumbling from the mouth of my usually rational best friend:

“Well, it’s the theory of evolution, you know – it’s not like it’s the law of evolution.”

Said in that somewhat indulgent, somewhat admonishing tone I dread, that gentle voice of correction the churches use when you’re going astray.

I didn’t react well. I tried to keep a civil tone as I explained that a theory in science isn’t the same thing as a theory in layman’s terms, but I know I was nearly shouting. And no, I’m not angry at him. I’m outraged at the pompous assclowns who love pulling blindfolds over people’s eyes and drill these fuckwit phrases into folks who only want to live good Christian lives. As if accepting evolution means spitting on God. As if God couldn’t have come up with such an elegant and simple idea for the creation of higher life forms.

We got past the bad moment. That’s why he’s my best friend: these things are nothing compared to the love we share. The walls are going up, but they’ll never get so high we can’t talk over them.

But it’s made me understand how pervasive the lies are. The only good news is that his church isn’t pushing Expelled as a must-see. They have better taste than that, a fact for which I’m forever grateful.

Let me just state something clearly: I have no problem with faith in God. Some people need God. They can have Him (take my God – please! hur hur hur – sorry). I understand the need for something greater in our lives. Some of us fill that need with secular things, some with spiritual, and it’s all good. I wouldn’t mind seeing less religion in public in this country, and I despise a lot of the things supposedly “religious” people do, but that doesn’t equate to wanting it eradicated like a mental illness. Fanaticism needs to be fought lest we end up living in a theocracy, true, but let’s don’t get stupid.

But I have an enormous problem with people lying for Jesus, and good people getting taken in by those lies. I cannot let that stand.

So that’s right, creationist cretins: I’m coming for you, you lying sacks of shit.

I’m going to link to sites that debunk you. I’m going to join that chorus spanking you all up and down the internet. I’m going to vote your asses down, and I’m going to counter your pathetic lies, and I’m not going to let you impose your narrow, rabid, fanatic, ugly, distorted view of religion on me and mine. I won’t let you do it to kids, and I won’t let you do it in my community, and I will try my damnedest to take my country back from you, and I am not alone.

It begins here. Listen:

According to the National Academy of Sciences,

Some scientific explanations are so well established that no new evidence is likely to alter them. The explanation becomes a scientific theory. In everyday language a theory means a hunch or speculation. Not so in science. In science, the word theory refers to a comprehensive explanation of an important feature of nature that is supported by many facts gathered over time. Theories also allow scientists to make predictions about as yet unobserved phenomena. [emphasis added]

And don’t you start blowing smoke up our asses with “the Theory of Intelligent Design.” That so-called “theory” falls under the vulgar definition of theory. It has nothing to do with science. It’s the fucking fantasy of Intelligent Design. It’s a euphemism for creationism, and if that weren’t true, you all wouldn’t be fighting the battle in the political arena: you’d be too busy in the lab to mess about in politics, trying to force your fantasies on the rest of us by fiat.

You want the truth? Science doesn’t lead to atheism. You do. You’re the ones presenting it as the choice between science or God, and considering the company I would have been keeping as a church-going Christian, I chose science. Evolutionary theory didn’t shake my faith in God: you did. Your lies and your frothing and your intolerance and your self-righteousness shoved me right out the door. There are atheists who got there through science, true, but there are a hell of a lot more who ended up happily God-free because we couldn’t stand the fanatical fuckheads that were destroying faith. So don’t try to spew that “science will turn our children into atheists!” crap. Tell it to Ken Miller. Let him tell you how much science destroyed his faith.

Oh, wait. You can’t. He’s Catholic, and he’s an evolutionary biologist. Whoops.

Here’s the deal. Stay the fuck out of my government, and the fuck out of science classrooms, and stay the fuck away from my friends. ¿Comprende?

No. I know you don’t. And that’s why we’ll be having this little talk again.

Oh, Noes! They Got My Best Friend!

Happy Hour Discurso

jacob

Today’s opining on the public discourse.

Pshaw, why would we need universal single-payer health care in this country when we have these quality health plans?

Wal-Mart Sues Disabled Ex-Employee

The Shanks didn’t notice in the fine print of Wal-Mart’s health plan policy that the company has the right to recoup medical expenses if an employee collects damages in a lawsuit.

[snip]

The family’s situation is so dire that last year Jim Shank divorced Debbie, so she could receive more money from Medicaid.

Jim Shank, 54, is recovering from prostate cancer, works two jobs and struggles to pay the bills. He’s afraid he won’t be able to send their youngest son to college and pay for his and Debbie’s care.


Un-be-lievable. So remember, kids: read that fine print. Not that you’ll have any choice but to sign anyway – it’s not like you’re making enough money to purchase your own health insurance.

Pour me another drink, and let’s see what else we’ve got.

Hey, wasn’t Iran the enemy? I thought we were supposed to bomb them… I’m all confused (via The Carpetbagger Report (emphasis mine):

Maliki has since struck a close alliance with ISCI, which has its own militia, the Badr Organization, and whose members also hold much sway within Iraq’s official security forces (though more with the police
than with the national army). This alliance has the blessing of U.S. officials, even though ISCI—which was originally called the Supreme Council for the Islamic Revolution in Iraq—has much deeper ties with Iran than Sadr does. (ISCI’s leaders went into exile in Iran during the decades of Saddam’s reign, while Sadr and his family stayed in Iraq—one reason for his popular support. As Ray Takeyh of the Council on Foreign Relations has noted, SICRI was created by Iran, and the Badr brigades were trained and supplied by Iran’s Revolutionary Guard.)


Did I end up with the absinthe by mistake somehow? Harf? The man we wanted in power in Iraq is all buddies with the man we want to destroy in Iran, and now we’re fighting beside folks who were armed and trained by Iran, which just a little bit ago was the reason we wanted to bomb Iran, because they were arming and training the people trying to kill us… ye gods. I have a headache, and it ain’t a hangover.

Moving on. What’s all this I hear about ThinkProgress? They fucked up? And then they did what?!

You mean they published an immediate, prominent correction? They didn’t bury it somewhere deep within the site where no one would ever see it so that ignoramuses could continue to cite the uncorrected original as proof of their bogus smears? Journalistic integrity? I thought we’d gotten rid of that pesky idea.

But you see, my darlings, this is the difference between news organizations and propaganda outlets: news orgs aren’t afraid to issue mea culpas, whereas propaganda outlets… well, are.

And then, when the propaganda outlets crow over the mistakes of their foe, things like this happen:

The right wing has been jubilantly celebrating the fact that ThinkProgress made an error in claiming John McCain had plagiarized a speech by Adm. Timothy Ziemer. Drudge, Weekly Standard, National Review, and Instapundit have all referenced our mistake. On its “political grapevine” segment this evening, Fox News reported our error as well. Fox host Bret Baier said, “The left-wing blog ThinkProgress has had to eat its words.”

At the end of the segment, Fox News referenced this website as “ThinkProgress.com” in an on-screen chyron. Note to Fox: we’re actually ThinkProgress.org. It’s ok — we all make mistakes.

Note to Fox: if you’re going to gloat over your enemy’s mistakes, be sure you gloat accurately. Otherwise, you just announce what the rest of us already know – that you’re fucking stupid. Thank you, but we already have abundant evidence.

And now, on a lighter note, sea cucumbers:

At 2:00pm today someone (in Alabama, no less) came here via a Google search for “sex with a sea cucumber”. I’m speechless.

Tip o’ the shot glass to John Lynch over at Stranger Fruit. I haven’t laughed so hard since PZ Myers busted into the Expelled crew’s hermetically-sealed press “conference” call.

Happy Hour Discurso

Nothing to Fear but PZ Myers

jacob

Just when the brouhaha over PZ Myers getting expelled from Expelled was dying down, this happens:

Some of you know that the producers of Expelled had a conference call this afternoon…a carefully controlled, closed environment in which they would spout their nonsense and only take questions by email. I listened to it for a while, and yeah, it was the usual run-around. However, I dialed in a few minutes early, and got to listen to a tiresome five minutes of Leslie and Paul chatting away, during which time they mentioned the secret code (DUNH DUNH DUNNNNH!) for the two way calls. I know. Sloppy, unprofessional, and stupid, but that’s the way
they work. So … I redialed. (DUNH DUNH DUNNNNH!)

Then I listened along quietly until I could take no more.

Skepchick has the audio. It’s absolutely awesome. And might I just add:

I’ve pointed out before the inanity – nay, the sheer fuckwittedness – of making a movie ostensibly about the silencing of scientists for their views, and then refusing to let scientists speak. They’re dead intent on silencing their critics. They force folks attending their propaganda screenings to sign non-disclosure agreements, then whine that their critics aren’t addressing the content of the movie. They lie, they obfuscate, they attack evolution (which in their world begins and ends with Darwin, as if there’s been no developments in the field in 100+ years), they refuse to share this supposed “science” that disproves evolution (because there isn’t any), and they cancel planned screenings of their schlock as soon as they discover that – gasp! – some people might attend them not to applaud, but to debunk.

Don’t let the claim about “unavoidable travel plans” fool you. They didn’t cancel until just after PZ Myers got ejected and the internet erupted with the hilarity. This marks the second excuse I’ve seen for the cancelled screenings: they’ve also cited “security concerns.” I ask you.

I’m delighted by the fact that PZ once again threw a cart full of eggs on the Expelled crew’s faces. I can’t wait for the next installment: I’m having pleasant visions of them cowering in terror, wondering where PZ will strike next. Nowhere is safe from the wrath of Myer!

It’s inevitable. The more they try to exclude PZ, the more they fuck up. There was the Minnesota screening, of course, wherein they placed the invitation for a supposedly “private” screening on a public website with no restrictions on who could sign up to attend. Then, when they spotted PZ in line, they were so busy expelling him that they missed Richard Dawkins – don’t believe their claims that they generously allowed Sir Richard to attend because he’d come such a long way to see their movie. That’s just CYA, and it’s poor lying to boot. Even our very own White House spins better than that, despite the fact they’ve stopped trying to make said spin plausible.

Then we have this episode. They invite a variety of media sorts, including bloggers, to their carefully-controlled “conference” call (note to Expelled goons: it’s only a conference if people can actually confer), pointedly not inviting PZ – only they did:

Today we sat in on a conference call with the Expelled frauds. PZ has his story up, and others will probably follow. However, some people, including the producers of Expelled, have already taken to accuse us of crashing their call, much like the lies about PZ crashing the Expelled screening.

This is false. We got an explicit invitation yesterday from Expelled‘s media relations firm to participate, note to whom the invitation is addressed.

Subject: INVITE: Live teleconference with BEN STEIN of Expelled

Date: Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:45:24 -0400

From: Schlicht, Stacy (LAN-RCN)

To: [email protected]

JOIN BEN STEIN TOMORROW, Friday, March 28 at 1:00 pm. PST for an exclusive, invitation-only LIVE press teleconference!

Some crew members got multiple invitations, including the one above and one at the personal site. PZ, however, was not one of them, despite the amount of (bad) press he has been able to generate for the frauds. I guess they purposely excluded his personal email from the list. However, they apparently forgot that PZ is a crew member, when they sent us our invitation. [emphasis added]

Heh heh heh whoops.

It still wouldn’t have been such a disaster for them if they hadn’t been blabbering the code for a two-way call when PZ called the conference line a few minutes early. Listen. Every moron knows that you don’t share security codes in the same forum where said code is supposed to be used. Two basic things should have occurred to them:

1. The people calling in were going to be muted, so how the hell are you supposed to know if they’re listening?

and 2. Some folks come to shindigs earlier than the time on the invite, so it might be a good idea not to share the secret stuff five minutes before the scheduled conference.

They have good reason to fear PZ. He’s a lot smarter than they are. Then again, so is your common garden gnome.

Keep it up, PZ!

Nothing to Fear but PZ Myers