Category Archive: lolwarz

Jan 29 2009

Peace On Earth Blah Blah Blah…

The truce proves unexpectedly robust. Many expected hostilities to resume within days, and therefore did not make suitable plans for peace. Outreach between former enemies continues. Alas, the best intentions can have unexpected results. We’ve managed the peace, and we’re doing reasonably well on the love, but understanding will need a bit more work, it …

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Jan 06 2009

The Hazards of Peace

This living in harmony stuff sounds lovely until you’re faced with a former enemy needing a hug: Confusion frequently arises when cultural barriers come down. We have lately been witnessing some of the more severe effects: In a spirit of inclusion, we’re trying to teach the dogs our ways. Sigh. They said war would be …

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Jan 02 2009

The Truce Continues

If you ask me, the “love thine enemy” stuff is getting laid on a little thick: Would someone please pass the insulin? Seeing as how it’s the new year and all, we’ve made a few resolutions: We’ll see how long that last resolution lasts…

Dec 26 2008

All Quiet on the Northwestern Front

With the onset of peace, art has returned to the world. We’re doing our best to stay warm and take advantages of the benefits peace brings. Turns out dogs have unexpected uses. Whodathunkit?

Dec 25 2008

A Fragile Peace

The dogs have sued for peace, and as this allows us to concentrate our efforts on the war with Greater Mausistan, we magnanimously agreed. We have even allowed them to claim their “superior” technology as a factor. Why quibble when we know we are worshiped as gods? The cessation of hostilities has allowed us to …

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Dec 24 2008

A Second Front

While the dog and his minions cast aspersions on our science while channeling their energies into weapons systems we’d discarded long ago, we discover that a second front has opened: We suffered losses in a sneak attack from Greater Mausistan, but are happy to report that the situation is being handled: Good intelligence wins wars. …

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Dec 23 2008

Battle Magic

Our spies tell us the enemy’s allies are experiencing difficulties with motivation and organization: Meanwhile, with a break in the weather, a major offensive has been launched. At first, motivating our own troops proved tricky, but after a rousing speech made by our general, we were able to march: Careful studies of hypnosis, combined with …

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Dec 22 2008

Winter Base Camp

The dogs have started a PR campaign, hoping to turn public opinion in their favor. We, of course, one-up them with cuter babies: We know the power of cute. We intend to employ it to our decided advantage. Snowed in at our winter camp, we take the opportunity to train our bodies to withstand the …

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Dec 21 2008

Fighting in a Winter Wonderland

We have won our first winter battle. The dogs apparently forgot Rule #1: Despite this victory, we have not won the war. The winter campaign will be a long and bitter one, with many setbacks. However, we do have a secret weapon: Hmm. We may have to wait until next winter to unleash our secret …

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Dec 20 2008

Hostilities Continue to Escalate

It seems we are now in a state of open war. It’s a good thing our intelligence services foresaw the possibility long before the first salvo was fired. They bought us time in which to perfect some of our most important weapons: The dogs have made a paltry effort at psychological warfare, forgetting that cats …

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