Arlen Specter’s Personals Ad

You know, I kind of wondered how Arlen Specter signaled to the Dems that he might be ready for a party change. Didn’t realize he was desperate enough to advertise:

Is your tent big enough for my vote? Rakish, slightly used 79-year-old Senator seeks new political party for fun, games, and an uncontested primary.

I’m known as Snarlin’ Arlen, but I’ll be your sweet little kitten of a 60th vote for at least 29 seconds of filibuster-breaking joy (unless they actually seat that 60th guy). I won’t support you, share your opinions, or respect you the morning after a roll call. None of that. I’m only getting into party-swapping to get back at that old windbag of a party that I used to be with because it threatened to cheat on me with a younger, more ideologically pure man….

Alas, these intertoobz romances seldom last. He should never have fallen for those eHarmony.com commercials.

The Muslim Takeover of America Has Begun

So on the drive home tonight, the local Christian marquee has this message up:

There Is No Other God

I just about crashed the car laughing. Sounds like they’re taking a page from the Qu’ran, and they’re too clueless to realize it:

That would be the Shahada. It says, “There is no God but Allah, and Mohammed is his prophet.” What does Allah mean? God. The self-same God as the Jews and Christians, in fact, although nobody seems to want to fess up to that. Until tonight, anyway.

What do you know? Christians do agree that America is a Muslim country.

Conversations with Cons

Go. Read. But swallow all beverages first, make sure you are seated in a safe position, and if you’ve got a developing hernia, have just had abdominal surgery, or have back issues that may be exacerbated by peals of belly-laughs, you may want to consider consulting a doctor before clicking through.

Do enjoy, my darlings.

The George W. Bush Library – Revealed!

TDHarrison at Daily Kos got hold of a deeply-classified email that reveals the layout and design of Bush the Lesser’s soon-to-be-library:

The Bush Library is being built in Dallas. The “W” Presidential Library will include:

The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction and will remain so for at least a decade.

The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won’t be able to remember anything.

The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you won’t even have to show up.

The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they won’t let you in.

The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they won’t let you out.

The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.

The National Debt room which is huge and has no ceiling.

The ‘Tax Cut’ Room with entry only to the wealthy.

The ‘Economy Room’ which is in the toilet.

The Iraq War Room. After you complete your first tour, they’ll make you go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes a fifth time.

The Dick Cheney Room, in a famous undisclosed location, complete with shotgun gallery.

The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty….

You don’t want to miss the coup-de-gras. Go indulge.

Do You Need a Good Laugh After All That Blag Bullshit?

Do you? I do. In fact, needed two. Here ye go:

Shocking revelations continue to be revealed in the shocking conspiracy scandal of Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich conspiring, shockingly, to sell president-elect Barack Obama’s shockingly vacated Senate seat to the most shockingly highest conspiratorial bidder. Shocking! Speculation swirls as to the precise connection between the dapper president-elect and the disgraced Journey-haired governor. These speculations can now be safely laid to rest.

FDL CAN NOW REVEAL THAT BARACK OBAMA CONSPIRED WITH WILLIAM AYERS TO FORCE ROD BLAGOJEVICH TO SELL A SENATE SEAT TO REVEREND JEREMIAH WRIGHT.

The rest of it had me nearly incapacitated. Alas, as one of the commenters pointed out in regards to the above all-caps:

You do realize that this headline is going to get reprinted as fact on Pammy Shrugs… and probably merit at least two hate threads in Freeperland?

Yes, indeedy. Some people can’t spot a Poe. But it was still funny as shit.

Also keep a sharp eye out for wingnuts reporting this “transcript” as the real deal:

BLAGO: Hey, come on Rahm, let’s not act like I’m a stranger here.

EMANUEL: Did I call you a stranger? If I thought you were a stranger, you think I’d be interrupting my important fucking business to take this fucking phone call?

BLAGO: Hey you don’t have to get curt with me, Rahm.

EMANUEL: This isn’t me being curt, Gov, this is me being fucking busy. Now what did you call about?

BLAGO: I’m just feeling you out, seeing if Valerie [Jarret] still wants that Senate seat, just wondering what kind of priority that is for the President-Elect.

EMANUEL: Actually, it’s not a priority. Valerie’s had second thoughts about the job.

BLAGO: What, she doesn’t want it anymore?

EMANUEL: She’s having second thoughts. You want more details, you ask her.

BLAGO: She won’t take my calls.

EMANUEL: Big fucking surprise.

BLAGO: What’s that supposed to mean?

EMANUEL: Um, I don’t know, what’s it supposed to mean governor? A.) You’re a fucking crook. B.) You’re a fucking asshole. C.) All of the above.

C. Definitely C.

Now let’s see how many wingnuts bite, eh?

Satire – It’s ALLLIIIIVVVEEE!!!11!!

Remember your Poe’s Law, my darlings, and enjoy:

Unfortunately, liberals have distorted the history and meaning of Thanksgiving because they see everything through the ideology of victimhood, which is a glass-half-empty view of history. Thanksgiving to liberals is a celebration of purported genocide against the Indians perpetrated by the Christian pilgrims. But in fact this is not what Thanksgiving is about at all. As usual liberals are ignoring the real victims here.

Thanksgiving celebrates the day that Pilgrims and Indians sat down to eat together before the gay secularist Indians divided this country and tried to foist their atheism and savage decadent culture on the God-fearing pilgrims. The pilgrims were rightly appalled by Native American culture where transgendered “two-spirit” people or “berdache” were accepted as normal members of the tribe. To Native Americans, who were ignorant of the Bible’s proscriptions against homosexuality and running around practically naked, there was nothing wrong with squaws marrying squaws and braves marrying braves. The pilgrims did not care what Indians did in the privacy of their own teepees, but they did not want their children exposed to this immorality. So the pilgrims were forced to defend themselves, just as Proposition 8 supporters, under assault from gay activists, must defend themselves now.

Read the whole thing. It is made of awesome.

Apropos of nothing, I had a gander at the blogs Jon Swift follows. Our very own PTET is up there.

You’re famous, love!

(Tip o’ the shot glass to Crooks and Liars)