Housekeeping! You Want Towel (Origami)?

The nice thing about NaNo being over is, I can spend almost an hour chasing after pictures of things I didn’t know existed until I searched for pictures of hotels and housekeeping. The only towel origami I’d ever experienced was back when my friend Devin folded up a penis to leave on the pillow of the ultra-religious roommate who’d just moved in to a friend’s dorm. It was inspired by the smiling sperm keychain another friend owned.

I don’t have to tell you where the keychain was placed, now, do I?

So. Right. Housekeeping news. I’m still cleaning up debris from Hurricane NaNo. There’s a few bits to add in before we have a really truly complete book for those of you who wanted to raze it to the foundations. What fun is demolition if you don’t get to demolish something complete? Those of you who requested a copy will have it by Saturday. Spend the intervening time getting in touch with your evil Inner Editors for me, por favor.

Those of you who pay attention to such things might notice a comment or two suddenly vanishing. Spammers have gotten clever – they’re either using people or someone’s created AI that has just as much brain function as the average Expelled fan. Which is to say, just enough to get past the spam filters and pretend to be saying something worthwhile. Comments left by spammers will die a hideous death, so if you’re a spammer, don’t waste your time.

Finally, don’t forget to check out Kaden’s find. How many of us here have the atheism? Mwah-ha-ha! I think we should run a betting pool on whether GodTube got Poe’d or not.

Motherfucking Comcast

I’ve been knocked offline most of the night. Comcast decided, without warning, that several hours’ worth of maintenance needed to be done. I’m sure it did, but a notice would’ve been nice.

And so no shit, there I was, cut off from the world, typing this in a Works document and realizing just how very internet addicted I am.

I couldn’t check up on the latest political fuckery.

Couldn’t pull up me expanded outline for the book.

Couldn’t hare off in search of some factoid or quote or other bit of useful information for said book.

Couldn’t pester you lot, and read your comments, and procrastinate by clicking on the links you send me.

I couldn’t even turn on The Daily Show and Colbert Report to clean away my anger to.

And it drove me utterly crazy.

Really don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone…

Maintenance was supposed to go on till dawn. Things are back up for the moment, but if tonight’s posts turn out thinner than McCain’s maverick credentials, you’ll know the reason why.

Shall Be Updating the Blog Roll this Weekend

I realized yesterday that I haven’t updated the damned blog roll in months.

Since then, Science After Sunclipse moved to ScienceBlogs, I’ve become a Daily Kos addict, there are round about a dozen blogs that I’ve meant to put up there and haven’t, we have no link to the World’s Best Evah Roast Chicken recipe… in other words, it’s high damned time for an update.

Which is where you come in, my darlings.

A lot of you have wonderful blogs of your own. I stumble across them on Sitemeter, or by clicking through your profiles when you comment, and it’s past time you got your names on the cantina wall.

Links in Comments, please.

Remember What I Said About Technical Difficulties?

My subscribers and my poor darlings who were visiting between 6:30 and 7:00 am Pacific might have discovered that Sunday Sensational Science promised a lot and delivered very little. That’s because bloody Blogger kept insisting on cutting off the post after the first photo.

It seems to be fixed now. If not, you’ll shortly see dear old Dana taking off after Blogger with a chainsaw. There will be blood. Bring cameras.

Now Taking Requests

Let’s open the floor to you all, my darlings. This cantina, after all, is for you.

Do you have a field of science or a particularly juicy bit o’ science news you want to see highlighted in Sunday Sensational Science? Lay it on me.

Ideas for Friday Favorites? Let’s have ’em.

Anything else on your mind? I’m all ears.

The floor is yours.

Help Me! I’m Buried Under Politics

Which means I haven’t had time to cruise the intertoobz looking for really delicious non-political fuckery to take the Smack-o-Matic to. Got links to something delicious? Religious buffoonery, IDiocy, something completely different but just as outrageously stupid? Who needs a paddling? Bring ’em on!

We could all use the break. I’ll start with tailbones. Heh.

If Happy Hour Doesn’t Appear as Scheduled…

…blame the incredible corporate idiots who deployed a new filter to the company computers. Apparently, even our breakroom computers are meant for “business purposes” now, despite the large signs proclaiming “Work Free Zone.” I’m afraid the one computer I found that allows me to access sites like Blogger and Think Progress is going to have succumbed by tomorrow afternoon.

I may have to chat up the union. Could be fun to sic them on the corporate empty heads.


Attention Wise Readers (if you remember who you are): Yeah, about that story I promised by mid-August…. Right. Well. Due to circumstances beyond my control (i.e., the Muse absconding to Mexico to drown my sorrows, the bitch), we’re going to have to push the deadline to the end of the month. Otherwise, you’re going to end up with a lump of insipid bullshit. And I refuse to do that to my characters, much less my readers.

The story’s developing, mind. And, according to NP, it’s going to be an incredible read. According to me, it’ll be tolerable. Middling-good. You folks will get the opportunity to decide for yourselves soon.

Firefox is my new best friend: When Sitemeter pwnd Explorer, thus denying me my daily fix of Pharyngula, I broke down and downloaded Firefox. If you don’t use Firefox yet, you’re so missing out. Do you realize I now don’t have to spend ten fucking years reformatting clips? I cut, paste, blockquote, and Firefox takes care of line breaks and emphasis-in-original without a single quibble. It’s pathetic to be this excited over a browser, but, you know, I am.

Posting might get weird: I tend to hit a lot of current events here, but I’ve been busy building up a grabbag of posts of not-as-topical importance so that I can free up time to, you know, get that story done. Eventually. So if you find yourself thinking, “Why the hell didn’t Dana unleash the Smack-o-Matic upon today’s outrageous religious and/or political fuckery? How could she have missed it?!” you’ll know why. If you don’t plan to write about it yourself, you can always send an email to dhunterauthor at yahoo dot com letting me know you’re disappointed. If you wrote about it yourself, send me your link.

Speaking of topics...: If you have anything you’d like me to cover for Sunday Sensational Science, I’d be grateful to hear about it.

Speaking of emailing: I barely caught a missive from a reader wanting me to critique a bit o’ her writing. It got stuck in my Hotmail junk folder. Where people are getting my Hotmail address from, I don’t know, but that’s the worst possible address to use. That’s for my political alerts, pizza coupons, and general total crap. Use the above referenced Yahoo address instead, and make absolutely sure your subject line can’t possibly be misconstrued as a spammer. Also keep in mind that my free time is about as rare as rational discourse on Worldnut Daily, so it could be some time before you hear back on any requests for my tender attentions.

And if you’re not in it for the brutal honesty, absolutely do not send me your damned story. I’m operating under the assumption you want me to make you a better writer, not stroke your ego, and I shall proceed accordingly. It could make Hitchens’ waterboarding jaunt look like a day at the waterpark. Be warned.

Saving the best for last, You: I’ve noticed a crop of new commenters along with my beloved regulars, and everybody’s made me grin, gasp, or go “Damn! Wish I’d thought of that…” at least once apiece this week. You deserve the biggest damned drink in the house, on the house. Since I can’t give it to you in anything but a virtual manner, you’ll just have to let those closest to you know that Dana sez you get to drink on them.

And I can at least give you a picture of the most expensive tequila in the world:

Here’s to the day when we can all bathe in fountains of the stuff.

Housekeeping! You Want Towels?

This blog is for you, dear readers. So occasionally, I’ll have a housekeeping post such as this to point you toward some of the more interactive features of En Tequila Es Verdad and solicit opinions, gripes, questions, and other assorted input. Not that you can’t post said opinions, gripes, etc. in the comments at any time, mind you, but sometimes it helps to have a public forum set aside for such things as well. So, speak!

Uno: I’d like to direct your attention to the poll in the column to the left. No, not there. Keep scrolling. It’s right above the goat, toward the bottom, there. Don’t be distracted by the question that’s likely running through your mind right now. It doesn’t matter why Dana has a goat on her blog. No, you want to look at the poll. The pretty, pretty poll. You want to vote in the poll. Then we can come back here and talk about the goat.

Dos: Welcome back. Like the goat, don’t ye? That, my friends, is the magic of clip art and Microsoft Paint. He’s my movie ratings goat, but I like him so much I’ve bunged him on here. Maybe our next poll will be naming the goat.

And yes, you can make horrific goat jokes if you like. Sigh. I’ll begin: got your goat, did I?

Tres: Anyone interested in doing some guest blogging? Only I’ve eventually got to get some actual fiction writing done, and I’d hate to let my – what is it now, five? ten? – regulars go without their tequila-flavored truth. If you’ve got something to add, shoot me an email at dhunterauthor at yahoo dot com. If you’re not a spambot, I know you’ll be able to figure that one out. Heh.

Criteria? Um. Well, snark is important. Left-wing perspective a plus, but not essential – if you’re right-leaning but want to call the fuckwits on the extreme far right out for the batshit insane assclowns they are, I’d be pleased indeed to have you. Got a funny story about funny-mentalists? Close brush with pseudoscientific woo? Want to talk about how people react to language? I think by now you’ve all got the general idea of what this blog’s about. You’ll think of something. I may be an atheist, but I have faith in you folks.

Quatro: Speaking of you folks, if you’ve got a blog I haven’t linked to but absolutely think I must, send the link to the email so cleverly concealed above. It shall be added forthwith.

Cinco: I need materials, dark or otherwise, for the Short, Sharp Retort. So, two things: if you have a situation you need a snarky, snappy comeback for, Dana wants to hear it. If you have a snarky, snappy comeback for one of the situations presented in our maiden voyage, send it along. Bonus if you have both a situation and a retort!

That should tidy things nicely for now. Hasta luego!