Dispatches from Women’s World

B and I are sitting side-by-side. We are in different worlds.

Image shows a red planet, a blue moon, and a binary star system.

Binary Star, Nebula, and Planet with Moons courtesy Matt Hendrick via Flickr (CC BY-ND 2.0)

B’s wishing he’d known women actually like sex back in his raging hormone days. Society had told him that girls just aren’t in to doing the wild thing, and he’d believed that, so he missed a lot of opportunities. He’s not the sort of man who’d ask a woman to do something she didn’t like. It’s why we’re together.

We’re watching UFC fights. B wishes the cage girls were curvier – these are famine years for men attracted to women who jiggle more in the bum than boobs. He’s hoping for an audience shot of Benson Henderson’s wife, because she’s a hottie. I’m busy watching various nearly-naked men in exquisite physical condition grapple and writhe. Some of the wrestling moves look like they could easily be modified for incredible bedroom encounters. And if Benson Henderson and I were unattached and he was interested, I’d love to test that theory with him. But as much as I’m assessing the fighters for potential happy fun sexytimes, I’m also aware that every one of them could turn horrifically violent in a heartbeat, and their strength, speed, and skill mean I wouldn’t stand a chance. So as much as I enjoy admiring the bodies and consider their performance potential, I’m also trying to read their character, aware that misjudging it could get me raped, killed, or both.

How many men consider calmly the chance that a potential sexual encounter will turn violent? [Read more…]

Two Glittery Hoo-Ha’s in a Month? What Are You Trying to Tell Me, Universe?

Coinky-dinks are funny things. I didn’t think I’d ever come across glittery hoo-ha’s again outside of the Dogs and Goddesses deconstruction I’d got inadvertently sucked in to at Raven Wings. For those who are blissfully unaware of it, Dogs and Goddesses is a gawdawful romance book about a bunch of single women, their dogs, and some Mesopotamian goddess, plus a sexy god (of course), and a weird murderous priestess (ditto), and the sexy but assholish math professor (yep), and some other people I don’t even remember, because the bits Yami quoted were atrocious. There is a potion, and aphrodisiac cookies, and one of the ladies ends up with endless orgasm powers, and I just can’t with this.

Look, I only got involved in it because I was reading her This Present Darkness deconstruction. I will tell you about that book someday soon. Then you will understand why I enjoyed watching Yami savage it, and why I accidentally ended up reading a deconstruction of a really bizarre romance novel. Yami’s really damned good at deconstructions and I was powerless, okay?

Anyway. Goddesses. Dogs. And, toward the end the book, glittery hoo-ha’s. [Read more…]

How Feminism Changed My Duck-Feeding Habits. Plus: Epic Food Fight!

Here’s an interesting thing about becoming a full-bore feminist: it’s changed my duck feeding habits. Seriously. Female birds tend to be pretty plain, and they’re not usually aggressive show-offs like the males. Before I started getting seriously into feminism, I just kind of ignored them. The boys were prettier. The girls were boring. [Read more…]

“There Have Never Been Frontiers Between Astronauts.”

This is a beautiful sentiment from the first human to walk in space:

“There have never been frontiers between astronauts. The day that this notion sinks into the minds of politicians, our planet will be different.”

Part of me would like to see that world. Part of me wonders if, as Robert Frost’s neighbor said, “Good fences make good neighbors.” I know we need fences even in our own communities. I know sometimes those fences are the only way to co-exist. There are some frontiers between people and nations that need to be there, at least for a time. I just hope that if we do ever get to the point where frontiers dissolve, it’s because we’ve all learned how to treat each other well. [Read more…]

Bi-Erasure and the Prejudice Against Bi-Oriented People

Goddamnit, humanity, can we for once just bloody learn to get along? I mean, seriously. You’d think the one safe space for people with bisexual or biromantic orientations would be the LGBT community. I mean, there’s a B, right there, specifically for them. But it appears there’s work to be done breaking down bigotry. K.C.’s post on her experiences coming out reminded me that prejudice lurks everywhere. [Read more…]

A Victorian MRA Interlude: Coverture

I’ve fallen a bit behind in fisking our Victorian MRA dude, but never fear! I shall persevere until the end. Eventually. After finishing mah bad Bible stories book, doing up some hawt geology posts and working on this amazing backlog of nature photography I have got. In the meantime, there’s this very concise (and potentially rage-inducing) post on coverature by Cerys Gruffyydd for your history-of-how-horribly-women-were-treated needs. Trigger warning for marital rape. [Read more…]

Kumbaya Feminism

I cringed when I read about Patricia Arquette’s oblivious comments at the Oscars. It wouldn’t have been so bad if there had been an immediate, “Whoops! I’m so sorry, I definitely should’ve phrased that differently and not implied everybody else’s struggles are totally over.” It’s too easy, when you’re a white feminist, to get wrapped up in your own problems and forget that other people are dealing with far more shit than you are. It’s far too easy to assume the black feminist in the room faces the same issues you do. And then you end up blabbing something that comes across as dismissive, erasing the existence and concerns of huge swathes of people and then wondering why they’re mad at you.

At its worst, we end up with “kumbaya feminism.” [Read more…]

Moaning Men of the Victorian Age: Help! Help! I’m Being Oppressed!

Some people never change. Take the Men’s Rights Movement (MRM). It’s full of men who panic as they realize they’re not actually the Kings of Creation. Women pry a tiny bit of privilege from their sweaty, grasping hands, and they shriek like toddlers being forced to share the crayons. Unlike toddlers, they never learn to share. They just howl persecution and lie a lot in a pathetic effort to get all the power back.

Image is a cartoon of a blue man's head, wearing a beanie cap with a propeller and crying many tears. Caption says, "Feminazis stole my ice cream."

That’s these guys – try to make them share just one scoop, and they think you’ve taken ALL the ice cream. Click the image for the classic video.

They haven’t changed a bit. [Read more…]

Moaning Men of the Victorian Age: Breach of Promise Whine Needs Cheese

In our first installment, we saw how Mr. William Austin, Victorian MRA Esq., was being terribly oppressed by all those women with their miniscule hard-won rights. But he didn’t give us actual examples. He spoke in sweeping generalities that were, on the whole, pretty meaningless, especially when you contrast his problems with the actual conditions women in the 19th century faced.

Here’s the first time he stops mouthing mushy nonsense and mentions something specific: [Read more…]

Links on the Travesty that is Fifty Shades of Grey

Oh, how I hate to see that dreck making bank at the theatre. Thing is, erotica for women is so thin on the ground in popular culture that crap like this gets made into a movie, whereas the quality stuff like The Boss series doesn’t. However. Let’s hope the FSOG horror show opens up the market for better things (and full male nudity in film, which I hear didn’t happen in a film meant for horny heterosexual women, WTF?!). In the meantime, those of us who hate FSOG can continue to say why it’s so horrible. Other than the fact it won’t show us whole nekkid dudes, I mean.

Jenny saw the movie. She live-tweeted it, if you want her on-the-ground impressions, and reviewed it thoroughly. She also has these excellent posts, which I wished to commend to your attention: [Read more…]