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Category Archive: carnival of the elitist bastards

Jul 01 2009

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards XIV: ARRRGGGG!

COTEB XIV be up at Captain John’s place, and now I be understandin’ why so many o’ ye missed the boat. ‘Tis better if ye drink yer grog in pints, not barrels, me hearties. Still an’ all, we ended up with a robust (if groaning) crew, and Captain John’s birthday sailing proved a rousing success. …

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Jun 05 2009

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards XIII: Ports o’ Call

This is your Admiral speaking. Most of you already know why I be helming the ship with Commander Cujo359 providing invaluable assistance, but in case ye were too far in yer cups to remember, this should explain what happened to Captain George. It looked like he would be with us at all, but he rallied …

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Apr 29 2009

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards XII: In Hot Pursuit of the Faux Nouvelle

Captain Cujo’s launched us on a rousing adventure on the high seas for COTEB XII, me hearties. It be one o’ the most exciting sailings we’ve had yet. Pour yerselves some grog and raise yer glasses in a rousing HUZZAH!

Apr 02 2009

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards XI: “We Prefer the Term ‘Awesome.’”

The eleventh sailing of the HMS Elitist Bastard’s up at Z’s place. We be organized elitist bastards this time round: we left port on time and in good order. Huzzah! Settle yerselves in yer hammocks and enjoy a long, leisurely sail with some of the smartest bastards on the intertoobz.

Mar 08 2009

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards X: HC SVNT DRACONES

Once again, the HMS Elitist Bastard sails into waters filled with the dragons of ignorance and the serpents of stupidity. Greenpeace may protest, the Sierra Club may condemn, but Elitist Bastards know that some creatures are better off extinct. We’ve loaded our ship with the provisions of knowledge. We’ve primed our guns with the weapons …

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Feb 03 2009

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards IX: Keepin’ yer wits about ye

Aye, the HMS Elitist Bastard’s sailed from the Port o’ Ecstathy. Captain Efrique has steered the ship a course for treasure, he has. There be wisdom an’ wealth an’ a wee bit o’ a brain teaser for ye! Get o’er there and get yer booty afore it be gone!(Postdated for ye stragglers)

Dec 30 2008

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards VIII: To Boldly Go

The HMS Elitist Bastard leaves the high seas for deep space over at Submitted to a Candid World. Captain Ames helms the ship as we explore strange new worlds, seek out ignorance, and then blast it into oblivion with phasers set to “vaporize.” The only question remaining unanswered: how good is Ames at the Picard …

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Dec 01 2008

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards VII: Storming the High Seas

Stormy weather delayed the launch, but the HMS Elitist Bastard has sailed from port at Cafe Philos. Captain Paul returns us to the core of our mission, and has the line that encapsulates it all: Nothing spells elitist like changing the world for the better. Precisely. Go. Read. Get inspired, and change the world.

Oct 28 2008

COTEB VI: We Be Sailin’ the Wine Dark Seas

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards VI be up at Captain John Pieret’s. Be ye ready for an epic tale. A poet he is, aye, and a bard Homer himself would admire.

Sep 29 2008

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards V: Gone Cruisin’

Aye, my darlings, the crew of the HMS Elitist Bastard is all aboard The Coffee-Stained Writer’s Caribbean Elite, and we be savoring the luxury. Captain NP, who worked herself to the bone and delivered a brilliant Carnival of the Elitist Bastards, has the full report of our carousing. Look on her works, ye landlubbers, and …

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