bit o’ fun

What Is Eric Cantor Smoking?

Dana Hunter

Whatever it is, it must be some pretty powerful shit. Y’know, the kind of stuff that has you standing on a ledge on the 56th floor preparing to prove that while your hallucinations say you can fly, gravity and anatomy say otherwise.

Here we see him at a press conference in January 2008, bouncing on his toes, warming up for the leap:

Eric Cantor makes it clear that he is no friend to those Americans who are suffering:

Well, you know, there are some people in this economy who are really hurting. And if we’re going to enhance their unemployment benefits, if we’re going to increase their food stamp benefits, then let’s call that what it is. That is enhancing the safety net in this country. That is not something that I think we should look to, to grow our economy and to secure the job prospects and the economic future for the American families.

Here he is, flapping his arms on Hannity and Colmes four days after the election:

Cantor also made this little slip on HANNITY & colmes:

MR. COLMES: Yeah. Wouldn’t it be wise to hold your fire and stop looking for a reason to be critical until he actually takes office so you can actually work together before you criticize an administration which hasn’t even taken hold yet, hasn’t even entered office yet?

REP. CANTOR: Alan, Alan, Alan, I’m not criticizing. All I’m saying is we’ve had no indication that they’re reaching across the aisle, taking some of our suggestions to try and make this thing real rather than some payoff to some workers that they feel that they need to provide some assistance to.

And on January 12th, we see his knees bending and his arms windmilling as he gets ready to take flight [h/t]:

Representative Eric Cantor of Virginia, the Republican whip, said Republicans had concerns about expanding the [SCHIP] program, to immigrants or any other group, before the original purpose of the program was achieved. [emphasis added by moi]

“The program has not fulfilled its initial mission, to serve children of the working poor,” Mr. Cantor said in an interview.

Houston, we have lift-off:

Well, the new Newt Gingrich is at it again. Virginia Representative Eric Cantor, who takes “credit” for leading the House Republicans to unanimous opposition to the Obama Jobs Bill, now is “opposing” the plan to help prevent foreclosures:

House Minority Whip Eric Cantor (R-Va.) said that the Obama administration’s yet-to-be-announced $50 billion plan to stem home foreclosures may only add to the country’s fiscal and housing problems.

snip

“Homeowners, right now, are suffering under skyrocketing property taxes. And if we put the bill for $50 billion plus on top of all the bills that families have right now, you may very well be set to encourage more foreclosures,” said Cantor.

The Hill: Cantor offers early criticism of Obama mortgage aid

If you don’t have a home, you can’t pay property taxes. And property taxes don’t go to the federal government. Cantor knows that. Clearly he is being disingenuous.

That’s one way to put it. I think I prefer the term “suicidally delusional,” meself. Because, you see, it turns out that man really wasn’t meant to fly:

The GOP senses an opening to attack Obama and the Democrats on the stimulus and future legislation as spending our nation cannot afford, which is of course ironic given that the Republicans signed off on President Bush’s doubling of our national deficit.

House Minority Whip Eric Cantor (R-VA) previewed this line of attack today when criticized the upcoming mortage legislation on CBS today: “At some point, I think the people of this country are beginning to understand, who is going to pay for all of this?”

Do the numbers indicate that Americans are beginning to subscribe to Cantor’s philosophy?

No.

More Americans approved of former President Bush before he left office than of Congressional Republicans’ efforts regarding the passage of the stimulus bill, according to a Gallup poll conducted a week ago. [emphasis most emphatically added]

Poor Eric. That’s gonna be a long, hard fall, with a rather messy landing at the end.

What Is Eric Cantor Smoking?
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Things I Learn About Myself at the Pacific Science Center

Dana Hunter2 Comments

Every time I drop by the Pacific Science Center, I learn new things about meself.

Today, I discovered I could hit my target weight immediately by moving to Saturn.

Madegascar hissing cockroaches don’t give me the creeps. Much.

And I’ve gots to get me that globe filled with rheoscopic fluid that demonstrates the atmospheric turbulence on gas giants like Jupiter. I thought the flat disc full of the stuff was teh awesome, but it’s merely nifty compared to a globe of it. And guess what? You can at least get balls of the stuff for $6.95 at stevespanglerscience.com. If anyone knows where to find an empty clear plastic globe on a stand, let me know.

I’m a sucker for fluid turbulence, and I didn’t even know it till now…

This is why communities need science centers. Getting your hands on stuff, getting to play and explore, seeing something new or something old in a new way, is enormously enriching as well as entertaining.

The floor is open, my darlings. Tell me what you learn about yourselves when you go play in the fields o’ science.

Things I Learn About Myself at the Pacific Science Center

Somehow, This Does Not Come as a Surprise

Dana Hunter2 Comments


The only surprising thing is that her score was this low. I blame her age – she sleeps more, which leaves less time to plot.

Well. Forewarned is forearmed, I suppose.

And this goes a long way towards explaining those strange observing-owner-from-the-bookcase spy moments we’ve experienced of late.

How many of you have felines plotting your imminent demise?

(Tip o’ the shot glass to Phil Plait.)

Somehow, This Does Not Come as a Surprise

Val Kilmer for Governor?

Dana Hunter

Yes, damn it, I have to insert a Tombstone joke in here. Deal with it.

When asked if he would consider running for governor of New Mexico, Val Kilmer said, “I’m your Huckleberry. That’s just my game.”

Okay, not in so many words, but close enough (h/t):

Actor Val Kilmer is strongly considering a run for New Mexico governor in 2011 when Democratic Gov. Bill Richardson will be term-limited out of office.

He told The Hill at Monday’s Huffington Post party at the Newseum that he has been approached to run for the highest office of the state where he owns a ranch and has family roots.

“Actually, they’ve asked me to run for governor,” he said, not specifying who “they” are. “People seem to want me to.”

Speculation has swirled for months that Kilmer will run to succeed Richardson, and Kilmer said nothing that would have tamped down those expectations.

“I love my state and I love the people,” Kilmer said.

When asked by a reporter if he was giving a “strong maybe” for a run for governor, Kilmer agreed.

“That’s what it is,” he said.

I’m torn. On the one hand, he supported Nader over Obama, which doesn’t say much for his political acumen. On the other hand, it’s Val Fucking Kilmer.

We’ll see how I feel after the WTF Val Kilmer running for governor srlsly?!?!! factor has worn off. Anyone else as discombobulated by the idea as I am?

Val Kilmer for Governor?

Steve Benen's Got My Back

Dana Hunter1 Comment

Remember when I said this:

Bush sez he doesn’t care [about what people think of him]. The fact he’s got an army of legacy polishers out buffing as hard as they can claims otherwise.

Yeah. Here’s Steve Benen to back me up on that one:

Chatting with CNN’s Larry King this week, George W. Bush was asked about his weak public support. “I don’t give a darn,” the president said, adding, “Look it, these opinion polls are nothing but a, you know, a shot of yesterday’s news.”

Here’s the thing: I don’t believe him. Or more accurately, I don’t think Bush believes what he’s saying at all.

Think about how many “exit interviews” the president has done in recent weeks. And the reports every cabinet agency has put together to spin the administration’s record in the most positive light possible. And the very existence of the “Bush Legacy Project.” We’re to believe the president has been working overtime to put his best foot forward because he doesn’t care what we think?

I’ll bet, if we could sneak into Bush’s bedroom at night, we’d find him blubbering like a baby ‘cuz nobody loves him.

Steve Benen's Got My Back

Find a Happy Place

Dana Hunter

ROFLMAO.

You remember that little fish in the dentist’s office tank, shrieking “Find a happy place find a happy place findahappyplace!” as the girl tapped on the glass? That’s what Cons these days put me in mind of, only they’re not as cute. But you can tell they’re trying desperately they’re trying to find their happy place after eight years of abject failure.

Brandon Friedman, better known for his incredible work with VoteVets.org and the blog VetVoice, ventures into the land of neocon psychosis and comes away with some amazingly amusing insights:

I’m not a psychologist, but this is really fascinating if you put it all together: It appears that distraught conservative pundits and bloggers are actually in the midst of collectively retreating into the world of fantasy as a psychological defense mechanism. Let’s take a look at three recent exhibits that illustrate what I’m talking about.

Exhibit A: The RedState Army Strike Force

Earlier this month, the most prominent conservative blog, RedState.com, began promoting what they’ve dubbed the RedState Army Strike Force.

[snip]

When faced with the reality that they don’t have any field infrastructure remotely close to anything progressives have put together in the past two years, it’s almost as if these bloggers start. . .fantasizing. Like kids. What their project doesn’t demonstrate, however, is any in-depth knowledge of field organizing or any seeming long-term commitment to the hard work that accompanies the act of successful political organizing. It’s as if, rather than facing up to their electoral failures in 2006 and 2008, they’d rather take solace in pretending to be “warriors” locked in “battle” with their Democratic enemies.

You’ll have to click through for the rest. Do it. You don’t want to miss Jack Bauer and Joe the Plumber-Propagandist.

Find a Happy Place

Happy Little Bob Ross Cats

Dana Hunter

Glynis sez, “Bob Ross… Come on, don’t knock him. There are no mistakes, just happy accidents.”

Indeed. Happy little accidents like running across Bob Ross while cruising Icanhascheezburger.com at random, and then discovering that more cats admire Bob Ross than I could ever have imagined.

I used to watch Bob Ross on PBS regularly as a child. There was something mesmerizing about his mellow voice and the way he got paint to do awesome things without any effort at all. He even inspired me to try to emulate him, but my happy little trees turned out to have clinical depression. It didn’t matter. I still loved me some Bob Ross.

Never quite got this enthusiastic about the show, though….

If anyone ever questions the power of Bob Ross, just remind them: he inspired cats to take up painting. How many other artists can claim that?

Happy Little Bob Ross Cats

Of Ponies and Beer

jacob1 Comment

JeffreyD writes:

Of course I love you! Tell me about the pony and what kind of beer your drink. (smile)

And with incentive like that, how could I not share the story of the Day My Pony Drank Beer?

First, a brief word about my pony. He was a white Welsh who was my exact height, age and stubbornness. His previous owners had also spoiled him rotten. They went so far as to share their food with him, which is not exactly the best thing to do when equines are concerned.

We eventually broke him of bad habits like running for the barn, getting down for a good roll whilst you were still astride, and demanding cheeseburgers (yes, cheeseburgers. And yes, he actually ate them). However, we hadn’t quite broken him of begging. Did I say begging? Demanding, more like. If he saw something he wanted, he didn’t give you the soulful eyes and the meaningful nudges. He didn’t try a cute routine. He’d just barge right in and take what he wanted. Such as the time when he walked into the house because we were taking too long washing his carrots.

One day, a bunch of us were standing around in his pasture talking. My dad was drinking a beer. I can’t remember if it was Budweiser or Coors – my dad would drink whatever piss-thin American brew was on sale at the grocery store. This was back in the days before they tried to make Coors and Bud seem fancy, which should tell you how old my pony and I are.

Chipper somehow got it into his head that if Dad was drinking beer, he needed some, too. It turns out that it’s very hard to drink your beer when a thirteen-hand pony is trying to get his head in the can. They went through a five-minute comedy routine where my dad would push him away, and Chipper would crowd right back in.

Finally, my dad says, “You really want beer? Here.” And he poured a bit of beer in his hand.

Chipper drank the beer with considerable glee. And then he paused, smacking his lips a bit, then staggered across the paddock as if we’d hit him between the ears with a sledgehammer. His head swung side-to-side, his legs churned in all different directions, and when he finally reached the far end he just stood there for a moment with his head down, shuddering occasionally.

I’d like to think my pony’s not the kind of lightweight who gets drunk off a handful of beer, but I know it wasn’t the carbonation that shocked him, because his previous owners used to let him drink Coke. We’ll chalk his adverse reaction up to astonishment at how truly awful cheap American beer tastes.

Funny thing. He never asked for beer again. Which is fortunate, because I’m not sure how we could have explained an alcoholic pony to PETA.

Of Ponies and Beer