Really Terrible Bible Stories Excerpt: Introduction

Ready to dip into one of the most violent, sexually explicit, and immoral books ever written? Please pick up your Bibles and turn to Genesis.

I’m flabbergasted when people tell me they get their moral instruction from this tome. I’m even more astonished when they insist on shoving a copy into every child’s hands, then turn around and try to ban books from the library because they contain sex, violence, magic, or sundry other supposedly outrageous thing. Have those morality crusaders ever read their own Bible? It should be the very first book on their To Burn list! The bloody thing contains every single indecency they campaign against – and more!


Image shows Jackie Chan with his hands up by his head and a WTF face. Caption says, "What the actual fuck did I just read?"

Alas, this photo won’t be in the book. But I couldn’t resist including it here.

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The Level of Awesome Just Increased by a Factor of 11

Jamila Bey just joined FtB, people. She’s one of my idols, one of the most talented people in atheism, so I’ve basically been non-stop squeeing since I found out. I already thought this place was one of the best blogging collectives on the entire internet. Now it feels like it was only quasi-awesome before she got here and made it uber-awesome.

Image is Jamila Bey's blog header, which is a black bar with a drawing of Jamila raising a victorious fist on the right and the words "Sex, Politics & Religion" inside a brain on the left.

You can read her first post here, in which she reminds us that Black History Month includes atheists and freethinkers, and was actually started by one. While you do that, I’m gonna go have a lozenge and then go squee some more.

Welcome to FtB, Jamila!

Freethought is More Harshly Punished than Child Rape in Saudi Arabia #FreeRaif

A Saudi Arabian man starts a website for freethought and political debate. He’s arrested, threatened with the death penalty, tried for apostasy, and sentenced to 10 years in prison and 1000 lashes. An international effort to secure his release has so far been unsuccessful.

A Saudi Arabian man suspects his five year old daughter of losing her virginity. He forces her to get an examination, then brings her home, where he repeatedly rapes her, and beats her to death with a cane and cables. He crushed her skull, broke her back, ribs and left arm, and burned her in several places. The Saudi royal family prevents him from being released after only a few months in jail and a fine, and a court eventually sentences him to 8 years in prison and 800 lashes. However, he pays her mother blood money ($270,000 – a boy would have been worth double that price), and is released after only a couple of years. [Read more…]

Oh, Hai! It’s FtBCon!

Yay, it’s FtBCon!

Image is a tiger-striped brown cat with blue eyes. It's mouth and eyes are wide open. Caption says, "Holy tigrex, I'm so excited!"

I haz a sad cuz my ‘puter died, and the temporary replacement would esplode if I asked it to do a Google Hangout, so no talk from me. But that’s okay, because there’s soooo much other awesome stuff going on! Pick a session or twelve or all of them and enjoy! Saturday and Sunday’s schedule after the jump.

Image is a very excited cat clawing ribbons. Caption says OMG!

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Dear Richard Dawkins & Co.: Please Look In This Mirror

Kengi’s holding it up for you. Have a good, long look:

Dear Atheist Political Prisoner

Stop whining, will you. Yes, yes, I know you were expelled from your homeland, and . . . yawn . . . don’t tell me yet again, I know you aren’t allowed to write a blog post without the police arresting you, and you can’t leave the house without being killed by angry theist mobs, and your family is allowed to beat you, and you’ll be stoned to death if you set up a website. But stop whining, will you. Think of the suffering your poor British brothers have to put up with.

Only this week I heard of one, he calls himself a “Horsemen of the Non-Apocalypse”, and do you know what happened to him? Some people openly criticized something he said. I am not exaggerating. They really did. They were critical of his comments. Of course he was able to get his rebuttal published in major news sources, and of course he didn’t lose his job or speaking engagements or anything, but even so . . . He feels “muzzled!”

And you, Political Prisoner, think you have speech freedoms to complain about! For goodness sake grow up, or at least grow a thicker skin.

Stings a little to have your own attitude reflected back on you, dunnit?

Image shows a cat with its butt against a mirror. Caption says, "Halp! Mai evil twin has got me by tha butt!"

I just want you to remember this moment the next time you expect some sympathy from me for one of your Very Important Problems. I shall have to direct your attention to Those In Other Countries Who Have It So Very Much Worse So Shut Up About the Things That Harm You. You should be happy – after all, one leads by example, and that’s the example you’ve set. I, lowly woman who has too much of an Estrogen Vibe™ to be a Thought Leader™, can only follow your shining example.

Dear Atheist Leaders: If You Sound As Sexist As William Lane Craig, Ur Doin It Rong

Adam Lee at Daylight Atheism has read William Lane Craig’s Reasonable Faith column so we don’t have to. In the process, he found something that sounds almost exactly like some of our supposed leaders. Craig is responding to a woman who’s concerned about the sexist stereotyping Craig had been spewing. See who this response of his reminds you of: [Read more…]

This Pwnage Applies to All Sniveling Dictionary Atheists

Another day, another white male atheist stuffed full of himself to bursting, all eager to tell us icky feminists, people of color, LGBTQ folk, and other sundry social justice warrior types that we’re getting smudge marks all over his atheism. It’s pristine! It’s pure! It’s just a dictionary definition! Ewww, stop getting your SJW cooties all over it, yucky! *runs away screaming like the boys we used to chase at recess in the first grade*

Today, it’s Michael Luciano. Tomorrow, it’ll be some other dumbshit waving a dictionary around and pompously declaring atheism a pristine nothing. Well, if you’re the sort who likes to sit around feeling all smug and superior over nothing, fantastic. It’s a big ol’ world full of chairs, and you’re welcome to drag one into the corner and sit there enjoying the fact you played the Wednesday Adaams Game and came up with no for an answer.

Image is two stills from The Adaams Family. The top image has Wednesday standing next to an electric chair, saying, "We can play a game." Bottom image shows her strapping Pugsley into the chair, and saying, "It's called 'IS THERE A GOD?'"

Should you decide to sit in your chair and enjoy your triumph, perhaps gently sneering at churchgoers as they pass by your window, no one will worry a bit about the fact you’re a pathetic specimen of a human being. Seriously. What the hell use are you if all you can do is wave your arms and shout, “The dictionary definition of an atheist is all atheism is!”?

Like Buffy and the Scoobies said, “Where do we go from here?”

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Why I Won’t Be Sporting a Scarlet A Any Longer

The Out Campaign’s scarlet A no longer graces my blog or my social media feeds. I’m still an out and proud atheist, mind you. I still think atheism is important and can do the world some good. But the scarlet A, that doesn’t do enough. And I could put up the A+ logo derived from it, but while I support the idea of Atheism Plus, I want a different and better symbol, one that suitably reflects the fact that no one on the other side of the rift is interested in bridging any divides, and so those of us who want a heaping helping of social justice to go with their atheism are going it alone. Perhaps one of you here will design it, or point me to it.

Image shows me leaning against an a-shaped sea stack at Ruby Beach, WA. The Scarlet A has been superposed over the rock. A red X is drawn through the whole picture.

My former Facebook profile pic. Fuggedaboutit. Time to replace this sucka.

Hank_Says has a succinct summary of the fuckery of the past few years, when we went from superficially-cohesive movement to Deep Rifts™. It’s what made me decide it was time to retire that particular atheist symbol: [Read more…]

Dear Richard Dawkins: I Want My Money Back

I feel you’ve defrauded me, sir. You see, I used to think your outrage at religion and creationism was genuine, that the ideas you expressed were due to sincerely held positions, and I bought books in good faith. Now I know this was just a scheme. Your passionate arguments and righteous anger weren’t at all real. That was fake outrage. You only ever wrote the things you did for money. I feel you have defrauded me, and I demand a refund in full.

I’m sure you understand, as you yourself would never wish to enrich those employing fake outrage. Let us be consistent, then. Your $135 million net worth can surely absorb the blow.

Here are the books I require you to reimburse me for: [Read more…]