Are you one of those folks who celebrates V-Day? Do you need a punny geological gift for your rock-loving loved one? Of course you do! You’ve still got time to get them some Holy Schist with Guaranteed Garnet. Hooray! And if you use the coupon code VALDAY, you’ll get 15% off your entire purchase! Place that order now.

Remember, Holy Schist is for a lifetime, unlike flowers, which will rot within the week unless you get a living plant. Unlike living plants, Holy Schist does not need water or sunlight to stay beautiful, though, so it’s still a more thoughtful gift.

Don’t forget to get a soft fleece heart pouch suitable for filling with things that say “I love you muchly!” Like chocolate and/or other candy, or a small handy Swiss Army Knife, or some tasteful jewelry, or a thumb drive filled with sexy songs.

When it’s done being used as a pouch, you can stuff it with cotton and catnip and let your kitties enjoy it muchly. Don’t you love multi-use gifts? Yes, you do!

So getcher order in now, and don’t forget your VALDAY coupon!