Sometimes It Works Out Fine


Many of you were there to offer cyber-sympathy during the recent dust-up that plunged me into Emoland. Your support prevented me from becoming a permanent resident there – thank you! But for a while there, it looked like I’d be living life without B. Which led to frequent trips to Emoland, lemme tell ya.

But that situation’s sorted. We finally had the difficult talk a bit ago, wherein he displayed an understanding as to why all this feminism stuff is important, and he’ll trust me going forward, and won’t worry about the battles I choose to pick. Mind you – he’s understood the importance of said battles all along, which is one of the many reasons I like him lots. But he’s now willing to risk some collateral discomfort, and knows we can have equality without sacrificing fun. We’ll trust each other more in the future.

Of course, that talk would have happened a lot earlier if he’d known how to approach the conversation, poor soul. In trying not to pressure him, I think I went a bit too far in the opposite direction. Whoops.

And then we sorted out the other, more mundane, personal issues that had contributed to the bad situation between us. We committed to the necessary changes each of us needed to make in order to do better by each other. Then we purchased an excessive amount of alcohol and watched a very odd vampire flick, followed by a Wonder Woman episode, and it’s been fine since. Better than I expected.

Sometimes, these battles we have to fight for equality cost us close personal friends. But when that happens, the ones worth keeping will work it out with us. And they’ll be there for us in the future.

B’s one of the best. Raise him a round and welcome him to the feminazi ranks.

Image is of two cats hugging. Caption says, "Don't worry. Everything is fine now."

Comments

  1. Al Dente says

    I’m happy to read you two sorted things out. Speaking from the experience of having been married for over 40 years, I warn you these disagreements happen from time to time. The only way, and I mean that literally, the only way to get arguments settled is to talk about them. Occasionally you might need a neutral referee, but you must talk about your problems because otherwise they won’t go away.

    </paterfamilias mode>

    • Lithified Detritus says

      I can do no better than to second this. Closing in on 39 years, it has by no means been a constant parade of rainbows & unicorns, but we’ve always managed to work things out.

      Best wishes to you both.

      • rq says

        Thirding this with far more limited experience (4 years in October, heh). But that whole communicate-your-issues thing seems to be working for us so far, and considering our shaky beginnings, has done nothing but wonders in settling into a rather nice and happy and (ya know, hopefully) long-long-term thing.
        It sucks, sometimes, and it’s never easy, but there’s only so much pouting and silences and storming around that can be handled. It’s definitely a learning process.

  2. rq says

    Super-happy news, this is. :D I’m glad things are sorted and communication is happening and the emotimes have been survived and placed in the past. *hugs* for you and (because I’m a grudge kind of person) *friendly-but-cool-with-side-eye handshake* for B (don’t worry, by the time I finish writing this, I’ll be over it). ;)
    Yay both of you!

  3. katybe says

    Glad it’s worked out this way for you, and maybe one day B will be writing a guest post on his participation in some activism of his own ;-)