Cryptopod: Come Into My Parlour


“Emulate nature,” they say. “We should strive to be more like the natural world,” they say. They apparently have never observed nature in action, because we already do emulate nature. We’re vicious rat-bastards who lie, cheat, steal, rape and kill* – all things you will find nature doing vigorously and thoroughly every day.

For instance, on the day we went to Franklin Falls, and came back via the Old Wagon Road. There’s a thing there that looks like a rusty old wagon wheel rim or similar.

Ye olde waggone wheel rimme.

Ye olde waggone wheel rimme.

And if you embiggen that photo, you will see a fly resting upon it.

Or you could just wait for me to show you the photo I took up close-like.

Cryptopod I

Cryptopod I

Some flies fly the moment one approaches, but this one was evidently comfy with humans. It let me get in some very nice shots. Didn’t mind a bit.

Cryptopod II

Cryptopod II

It doesn’t look like a house fly, quite – it’s got very red eyes, and it’s a lighter color.

Cryptopod III

Cryptopod III

I found it rather pretty. And mellow. But hark! Who approacheth?

Cryptopod IV

Cryptopod IV

This is reminding me uncomfortably of the spider and the fly – only it’s the fly’s parlour, and I don’t think that’s a spider. It was creep-creepity-creeping up at a determined pace, and it looked rather a bit hungry.

Cryptopod V

Cryptopod V

And the fly was like, “Dude, this is not copacetic. I’m not at all comfortable with this,” and the thing with all the legs was all like, “Hey, no, bro, it’s cool. Just, like, stay there and we’ll, y’know, converse.”

Cryptopod VI

Cryptopod VI

And Fly von Flyster was all like, “Dude, seriously, not cool. You’re invading my personal space, and you’re drooling.” And Leggy McCreepsie was all like, “It’s cool, man. Just chill while I rush up here.” And it was at that point that Fly von Flyster decided to employ its wings and quit the locale.

And Leggy McCreepsie was all like, “Darn it all to heck.”

Cryptopod VII

Cryptopod VII

Sad. Alone. Hungry. Désolé

There ye go. Two cryptopods in one! And a saga about nature, red in tooth and claw and other appendages – except when the fly says “Fuck this noise” and departs before death can be dealt.

Emulate nature my arse.

* “We” in the generic “human beings” sense, o’ course – I know the vast majority of the readers here strive to and often succeed at being better than nature. That’s one of the reasons I love you, my darlings.

Comments

  1. rq says

    That’s a spider, alright. Eight legs, two body segments… spider. Couldn’t classify it for ya, though, someone else will have to! (I don’t think it’s a brown recluse, more likely a cellar spider, what with them long dainty legseseses.)
    The fly, though, is a gen-yu-wine flesh fly (Sarcophagidae). Its eyes are red because it eats fresh meat, mwahahaha. I saw a lot of this kind of fly during my bachelor’s thesis project. Had to raise some from maggots, too! Ew. Looking back, I wonder why people engage in such gory and disgusting activities (and the smell!). Anyway, flesh fly, but only dead flesh fly. If you scroll down to the flesh fly paragraph, this website has a quick and almost-accurate description of its uses in forensics.

    • rq says

      PS Since we got the house, I’ve discovered I’m not as afraid of spiders as I used to (no idea why, though), which is why I’ve been photographing them more; however, I decided to be brave and try to look up your spider, and I realized I just couldn’t really do it. Too much spider. (But it’s getting better, it is. Need an arachnology course to set me straight, that’s what did it for insects (entomology course)!)

  2. Trebuchet says

    Just imagine if spiders had wings….

    Darn, I wish I hadn’t thought of that!