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Dec 24 2012

What Pass for Winter Scenes In Seattle – With Basalt, Baby Sloths, and Sea Otters

It’s not going to be a white Christmas here. More like a gray wet one. That’s how Seattle goes. Still, when the sun peeks out for ten seconds, and the new basalt column fountain’s going, it’s quite pretty even without the frozen white stuff mucking up the roads.

Basalt column fountain in winter.

Basalt column fountain in winter.

So, it’s Christmas Eve here in the United States. Another War on Christmas season is almost over, and I’m thinking for the next one, we should design some less tacky displays to plant in the public square next to all of those gawd-awful nativity scenes. There was only one nativity scene I ever came close to liking, and that was the live one we had once. Only the camel ended up wanting no part of it, and I have no idea where the sheep had wandered off to, and it ended up just as lame as the plastic ones. Still. I got a glimpse of a live camel, which when you’re young and from a smallish American town is pretty damned awesome. We should invent some sort of nativity for the FSM, if there isn’t one already, involving exotic animals. Preferably ones that won’t get bored, like sloths. We’d have children clamoring to see the atheist displays if they included baby sloths, and I’ll bet the adults wouldn’t put up as much of a fight as they might have done otherwise.

display on a courthouse lawn and do anything but go

Baby sloth. How could anyone see something like this at a holiday display on a courthouse lawn and do anything but go “Ooooaaaawwww!!!” without being labeled a terrible person by bystanders of all denominations? Image courtesy Jennifer Jordan on Flickr.

So that’s a thought. Someone get to work on some sort of nativity story for the FSM or spawn of FSM that includes baby sloths. Also, sea otters. Give them a pool and they’ll stay put. And everyone who isn’t a horrible person turns to mush in their presence. They’re sort of like kittens of the sea.

Sea otters at Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium. I defy you not to melt in a mushy puddle. I double-otter dare you.

Sea otters at Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium. I defy you not to melt in a mushy puddle. I double-otter dare you.

Where are your camels and sheep now, Christians? Mwah-ha-ha! Oh, wait, it’s Christmas. Ahem. Mwah-ho-ho!

Anyway, where was I before that seg ued? Oh, right. Showing you our snazzy new fountain against a winter sky. Righty-o.

I love the curlicue of water on this one.

I love the curlicue of water on this one.

Not that you can really tell the difference in Seattle. The only difference between the winter, fall or spring sky is really whether the tree to the left has leaves on it, and what color they are.

Speaking of winter trees, here is an attempt at being all solstice-artsy.

Snazzy new basalt fountain and dormant trees.

Snazzy new basalt fountain and dormant trees.

Yes, I know, a light dusting of snow would have made it perfect, but I was off that day, so of course it wasn’t going to snow. Do you think it snows round here when I don’t have to drive anywhere? Hells to the no. It was going to snow a little on Christmas, until it noticed I was off that day, so now it’s not. And here I was going to get all sorts of lovely winter scenes for you, but all I can do is give you solstice sunshine (well, close enough) and basalt fountains, semi-artistically contrasted.

Solstice sun, columnar basalt, falling water.

Solstice sun, columnar basalt, falling water.

That’s your Happy Solstice etc. card this year, my darlings, unless the weather does something a little more artsy before the new year.

Have a happy, and raise yourselves a round. Much love to you!

Also, another baby sloth, because why not?

Two-toed baby sloth. Image courtesy Matt McGillivray on Flickr.

Two-toed baby sloth. Image courtesy Matt McGillivray on Flickr.

2 comments

  1. 1
    Lofty

    Tomorrow I may be slothful for a while.

  2. 2
    Lithified Detritus

    The basalt fountain is awesome!

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