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Feb 26 2012

Weapons-Grade Cute

Cromm quit the battlefield. He had some pathetic snark about Toxoplasma gondii and drooling dogs. Pfft. We’ve got legions of cute cats. Victory! Victory! No wonder he demurred when I asked if he wished to continue the war.

Of course, this sudden de-escalation in hostilities has left me with an arsenal and no one to unleash it upon. My readers stepped up and contributed ammunition. Starspider spent the entire day between calls searching for adorable cat pictures. Do you know how hard it is to sound serious about technical troubleshooting when you’ve just been squeeing? And then Suzanne sent me a video that put me on the floor. We’re talking weapons-grade cute here, people, and no dog-lover to unload it on.

So we’ll just follow a scorched-earth policy and post them anyway.

If this photo doesn’t melt you, you have no (metaphorical) soul:

I know. I’ll give you a moment to recover.

Tielserrath sent us this adorable couplet:

Lucy and Bosie, by The Tassie Devil

Lucy and Bosie, image courtesy The Tassie Devil

And then Suzanne sent this video of a cat using sign language, which is just devastating:

Suck it, chimpanzees!

And believe me when I say I’ve got far more weapons-grade cute in reserve. There will be nothing left but a smoking crater when we’re done.

Oh, and Cromm? I gotcher otters right here:

Sea Otters, Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium

11 comments

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  1. 1
    Paul Havlak

    However, otters are members of Caniformia, so you can’t properly count them on the Felid team.

    Mustelids probably belong on a team all their own. Ferrets, anyone?

  2. 2
    Les

    I love my three cats, but I’m a huge otter fan. In terms of cuteness it’s a difficult call for me. The one advantage cats have is that I can keep them as pets. Or at least pretend that’s what I’m doing.

  3. 3
    otrame

    My ex used to feed our cat bits of cheese like that. One day, when he was down to the last bit, he said “The last one’s for me.” and popped it into his wide open mouth. Before he could close his mouth, she reached in and snatched it right out and ran off with it.

  4. 4
    Stacy

    Oh my. That video. Too much cute. In order to recover I need some anti-cute, stat.

    *searches for copy of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre*

  5. 5
    Felix

    Need some more ammo? Try this:

    1. 5.1
      Stacy

      Felix, that was awesome. Thanks.

  6. 6
    tejanarusa

    Oh, my god! I’m on the floor with squeeing! Ужин с котом (Dinner with the cat, for those who don’t know; at this blog, that may be nobody)…it’s a real life Simon’s cat! (Does everyone here know Simon’s Cat? http://www.simonscat.com/

    I’ve often thought that the only thing not the essence of catness about Simon’s cat is that he points at his mouth with his “thumb.” But now…
    Unbelievable. And I bet the cat learned it on its own.

  7. 7
    Donovan

    I have nothing against the wretched, detached, evil, sadistic, self-important, lazy, nihilistic, selfish, murderous feline family. They are cute, in a Hannibal Lector sort of way. But a dog is like a Pullmanian extension of one’s own being; a daemon rather than demon.

    If I ever need a red lazer dot captured, I will beg forgiveness of the nimblest of vegetables, the cat. Until then, I will enjoy the company of the only creatures on earth capable of true love, that being the domesticated dog.

    ***It seems fitting that a geologist should like cats. They just sit there while you wonder how long it’s been since it last stirred, and was it once alive. Cuddly, cuddly stones.

  8. 8
    Eidolon

    Ahem…

    First off, dogs do, in fact purr. If you listen to their breathing when they are relaxed and then start petting them, you can hear their breathing change, become deeper, slower. So no, they do not purr in the same way as cats do, but they purr none the less.

    The fate of the cat who thinks it is going to make a stand against a dog is depending entirely upon the training and nature of the dog. Well, unless it’s one of the so called dogs that are no bigger than a cat…

    I’ve shared my life with both cats and dogs. I am afraid though that the loyalty, sensitivity, and plain ol’ companionship from canines is the better of the bargains we make with our companion animals.

  9. 9
    DrAstro

    I kind of stumbled into this cat-dog thread and I’ve just got to share this story. I’ve a had a couple of very cool but completely undisciplined cats for quite some time. Despite my best efforts, they have been unable or unwilling to learn the “no animals on the furniture” rule, even with the help of positive and negative reinforcement. Recently, I got a 2-year old malamute female as a rescue. I’ve had a number of mals over the years and was a bit nervous having the new dog around the cats, since mals tend to view small animals as food. I was assured that she was tolerant of cats, though, so I went ahead and introduced them. Mals are very pack-oriented, and they are also very smart. Sasha (the dog) not only immediately understood the furniture rules, she also understood that I was the alpha and made the rules. What was interesting was that she took on the role of beta, and in that role considered it her job to “correct” the lower-ranking cats whenever they violated the rules. It came to head one day when one of the cats was on the couch. Sasha went over and vocalized what was no-doubt intended as an instruction to move. (Mals “talk” by making a woo-woo noise, similar to Chewbacca from Star Wars). When Sam (the cat) didn’t move, Sasha reached down with her mouth, deftly and gently plucked him up by the scruff, and walked the snarling, spitting, wildly clawing cat over to where Zoe (the other cat) was lying. She then place him down (very gently) and put one huge paw on top of him until he stopped squirming. All this time, Sam was clawing like crazy, which given the thickness of the mal’s coat, has absolutely no effect. Since then, there has been no cats on the furniture. To summarize, my dog trained my cats, something I have not able to do. I don’t know if cats or dogs are smarter, but I know for sure that this dog is the smartest domestic animal I have ever seen. I just hope she doesn’t decide that I need correcting.

  10. 10
    Ed Brayton

    You may think cats are cute, and maybe dogs and otters too. But Kristen Bell knows that baby sloths are the cutest thing ever.

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