Think again. Every point you think is a phenomenal benefit is actually a drawback, as the writer of that list so ably demonstrated.
I stumbled across the above post courtesy of Brian Switek, and it’s rather unfortunate I did so whilst at work. I couldn’t help howling with laughter. Coworkers gave me strange looks. That’s okay. As a writer, I get a lot of those. But there are 20 items on the list, and I laughed my ass off at all 20, which I think nearly landed me in my manager’s cubicle for a little Talk about not disturbing the other denizens of the call center.
Can I ever testify to – well, every single item! Such as
2. Writers will write about you. You don’t want this. Trust me.
My friends used to pester me to write them into my stories. So I did that once. Strangely, they haven’t asked again…
Look, a writer has to sometimes do utterly awful things to their characters, and just because they’re based on you doesn’t mean they get a free pass. And when we’re annoyed with you, even worse things might happen to “your” character. And we may not see you the way you want to see yourself. The awakening can be a bit rude.
8. Writers are really passionate. About writing. Not necessarily about you. Are you writing?
No. You are not. And you will discover this, probably sooner rather than later. I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve abandoned a relationship because the person I’m with is not my writing. After the first flush of hormones vanish, that desperately-wanted relationship sours because Time With Significant Other = Time I Could’ve Spent Writing. It’s hard on a person when the person they’re trying to have sex with is hurrying them along because they want to get back to writing. And what’s a writer thinking about when they’re making the Beast With Two Backs with you? Not you in the majority of cases, I can assure you. Most people I’ve dated can’t handle being second fiddle to a piece of paper. Unless you can, don’t try it.
14. Writers may be able to adjust their schedules for you. Writers may be able to adjust their schedules for writing. Are you writing? Get in line, then.
That’s the one that nearly put me on the floor. So damned true!
18. Writers are surrounded by interesting people. Every last one of whom is imaginary.
This is the point where I sank down in my chair, and had I been drinking milk, it would have squirted through my nostrils and caused the folks who service our equipment some serious difficulties. It’s true. Completely and utterly true. The key word here is “surrounded.” I know some very interesting people IRL. I am not surrounded by them because I am too busy writing. The only interesting people who actually surround me are the ones in my head. And you, my dear potential date, play a distant third fiddle to them.
Those are just a few highlights from the list. Go read the whole thing. And the takeaway lesson here is that if you are not an emotionally strong person who’s happy being treated as an inconvenience except when the writer needs a brief bit of nookie or an errand runner, who can tolerate long periods of enforced solitude while your writer writes frantically, and likes to be used as a sounding board, test subject, and therapist, you have no business ever dating a writer.
If you think all of the non-bolded items on that list describe your ideal relationship, then find yourself a writer forthwith. Good luck prying one of us from the page long enough to get a little something started…
When asking for a $5 million rate hike in 2007:
PG&E asked the PUC for permission for a $5 million rate hike to “replace a section of the same pipeline that blew up in San Bruno.” The PUC approved PG&E’s request, allowing it to hike its rates so that it could repair the line in 2009.
When not using the $5 million rate hike to repair the dangerous pipeline:
While the company failed to spend the $5 million it took from customers in 2009 to repair the faulty pipeline, it did spend that exact same amount in the same year on bonuses for its executives, according to TURN.
When asking for yet another $5 million rate hike to fix the dangerous pipeline in 2009:
In its request, PG&E warned that if “the replacement of this pipe does not occur, risks associated with this segment will not be reduced. Coupled with the consequences of failure of this section of pipeline, the likelihood of a failure makes the risk of a failure at this location unacceptably high.” Despite these admitted risks, the company could only promise to make its repairs by 2013.
What PG&E was spending its millions on in the meantime:
Calitics notes that while PG&E failed to use the millions it charged consumers in rate hikes to repair its pipeline, it did manage to spend millions of dollars supporting Proposition 16, which would’ve allowed it to secure its monopoly over the power sector in the state.
And this is what they say about spending the five million meant to fix the deadly pipeline on executive bonuses, and spending further millions that could’ve fixed the pipeline on trying to buy a monopoly instead:
Local news station KTVU asked PG&E President Chris Johns why his company failed to make the repairs on schedule, despite recognizing that the pipeline was a considerable risk and using a rate hike on consumer to do it. “Some things happen when we’re going down, and a year later maybe some other item becomes more emergent that we need to fix,” replied Johns. “And so that’s why we will redirect funds to take care of the things that are urgent today, and then go back and say what are the things that are urgent tomorrow.”
Four people died and several were critically injured, while hundreds of others lost everything they had, because these assclowns didn’t think that pipeline was “urgent today.” Except, of course, when they were asking for more cash from their customers.
I’m not a huge believer in the death penalty. Not for individuals. But some corporations need to be put down like rabid dogs. PG&E is one. Send its executives to the unemployment lines, shut it down, and put people in charge of the utilities who believe that the things that are urgent today are the lives and safety of human beings, not the already-overflowing bank accounts of executives and manipulating the political system to further engorge an already engorged company.
These fucktards are beyond despicable. There should be no place for them in a civilized society.
In the time-honored tradition of posts that a blogger writes when they’re too busy to write their own content, I have decided to filch a collection of rocks that have made my eyes pop lately. Don’t forget to click through the links for the posts these came from. Enjoy!
Glacial drift over advance outwash
You know why I love my geobloggers? Well, if we had to count all the ways, we’d be here for a week. But this post highlights one of the big reasons: they give us eye candy!
Primary Day is a very dangerous day.
In Delaware, the Teabagging hoardes overthrew the sometimes-sane Mike Castle in favor of a candidate who believes there’s just as much evidence supporting Young Earth Creationism as there is evolution, says condoms can’t stop AIDS, thinks coed dorms will lead to “orgy rooms”, and wouldn’t have lied to Nazis to save a Jew. Among other insanity. At least she’ll be entertaining, but I hope to fuck the people in Delaware are smart enough not to let the Teabaggers propel this moron to victory.
In New York, Teabaggers ensured Andrew Cuomo faces off against a man whose pasttimes include sending out racist, pornographic emails, and who thinks the poor belong in prison.
You probably heard quite a bit of screaming Tuesday night. That was because the Dems were screaming for joy, unable to believe their luck, while Republican Party officials were howling, “We have to support what?” The Republican slate of candidates is now almost exclusively filled with freaks, lunatics, and incredibly fucking stupid people, and Cons know that once the non-Teabagging cadre of voters gets a good look at what’s on offer, they might run screaming to the other party no matter how disillusioned they’ve become. What was supposed to be a banner year for the Cons is rapidly turning in to a test of the Cons’ ability to sell insanity to the sane. The NRSC and others don’t seem to be terribly happy about it.
I hope you had a few metric tons of popcorn and several thousand gallons of butter handy, my darlings. We shall need it this fall.
So Jonah Leher at Frontal Cortex has this post up: Are Distractible People More Creative? Well, being a distractible person who likes to believe she’s creative, I found myself clicking through – after, of course, getting distracted by a few other things, like making dinner while watching Head Rush and trying to catch up on Pharyngula.
Turns out there’s good news for the terminally distracted: