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Jun 30 2009

Happy Hour Discurso

Today’s opining on the public discourse.

Don’t talk to me about why it’s actually yesterday’s news. Grr, argh. Let’s just say a lot of things broke, my company’s games with schedules due to their pathetic attempts to save a few bucks on holiday pay left us understaffed, and things esploded from there. But look at it this way – it’s Happy Hour somewhere.

And I shall do my best to entertain even though I’m having to type this with the laptop precariously balanced on the arm of the chair due to someone deciding laps are for kitties, not computers.

For those of you wondering if Inhofe could possibly get any dumber, the answer is, alas, yes:

On Fox News this morning, Sen. James Inhofe (R-Okla.) insisted the Environmental Protection Agency was given evidence that undermines global warming, so the agency hid it to advance “probably the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people.”

Inhofe said the EPA “absolutely” buried evidence undermining policy on global warming after a researcher’s report claimed that carbon dioxide has had little effect on the environment.

“They’ve been cooking that science since 1998,” Inhofe said during an interview on Fox News.

Inhofe argued that there should be a criminal investigation into the EPA report, as well.

“I don’t know whether there would be or not,” he said. “There could be, and there probably should be.”

In our reality, the EPA has an employee — an economist, not a climate scientist — named Alan Carlin who apparently doesn’t believe in global warming. In fact, he insists that global temperatures are “not going up, and if anything they’re going down.” He submitted a “report” arguing that the government shouldn’t worry about regulating carbon emission, relying on familiar conservative arguments.

Strangely, the EPA prefers the work of actual climate scientists when it comes to reversing a ginormous body of scientific consensus on global warming. I believe, Mr. Inhofe, there is a difference between “burying evidence” and laughing heartily as one files the rantings of an ignorant fucktard with delusions of scientific ability in the nearest circular filing cabinet.

Faux News, of course, is ecstatic over Inhofe’s conspiracy theories. Considering they credulously report satire as news, I’m not surprised:

The blog, Elective Decisions, which features “the satire of Chris Davis,” then wrote up a post saying that Ridge responded to Rush by challenging him to a fight:

So this morning, Ridge went back on Washington Journal, responding to Limbaugh’s rhetoric. “I’m so sick of Rush Limbaugh. He’s the reason we lose elections. He needs to get the hell out of the Republican Party. As far as I’m concerned, he isn’t a Republican anymore. The man’s running. The man’s hiding. He’s too scared to face me!”

Ridge continued his rant, threatening Limbaugh. “Meanwhile, he sits there in his ‘Southern Command Post,’ and destroys the Republican Party! I’d like to just have three rounds in a boxing ring with that guy so I could shut him up! I’m caling (sic) you out, Limbaugh. Let’s see if you have a big enough set of marbles to back up your crap!”

Though the “Elective Decisions” blog is clearly marked as “satire,” the Fox Nation linked to the post and promoted it as if it were based on reported facts:

Fox Nation promotes a satire story as a true story.

Next thing you know, Faux’ll be breathlessly running breaking news stories from The Onion. But what else can we expect from a “news” empire that goes to court to protect its right to outright lie?

Now, most news outlets this outrageously stupid would perish, but not Faux. Oh, no. And I think I have a good idea why: their likely viewers can’t even comprehend the fact that a 5-4 ruling is not equal to a 9-0 ruling:

Everyone knew the Ricci ruling would come down today. It was the last day of the session, and the Supreme Court hadn’t issued its decision yet. By mid-day Friday, we knew the ruling would be released early Monday.

And that, in turn, gave the various players plenty of time to come up with their carefully crafted over-the-top responses. I’m afraid some of the leading conservative activists didn’t use the time wisely.

Wendy Long, head of the Judicial Confirmation Network, which apparently exists for no other reason than to attack Democratic judicial nominees, quickly issued a statement this morning with the headline: “Not Even One Justice Approved Sotomayer In Ricci Case.” Yes, even now, Wendy Long can’t spell “Sotomayor.” The press statement went on to say:

“Frank Ricci finally got his day in court, despite the judging of Sonia Sotomayor, which all nine Justices of U.S. Supreme Court have now confirmed was in error.”

Soon after, on a Federalist Society conference call with reporters, additional conservative activists emphasized a similar line.

Roger Clegg of the Center for Equal Opportunity suggested that the ruling “gives the Senate Judiciary Committee a lot to ask about” and that it brings to light her past statements on this issue.

He was joined by Gail Heriot, a professor at the University of San Diego School of Law in the insistence that each of the nine Justices had rejected Sotomayor’s reasoning in her Second Circuit decision.

There’s a variety of problems with all of this, but the most obvious is the fact that the Ricci ruling was 5 to 4, not 9 to 0.

[snip]

Update: Rush Limbaugh also insisted that Ricci was “a nine-zip decision.” Is the right so far gone that they can no longer count to four?

Short answer: yes. They’re also so far gone that they slurp up slop like this:

NewsHounds:

The headline of the linked article is “House Passes Milestone Energy, Climate Change Bill.” Obviously not happy with the AP headline, the Fox Nation writers, in order to put it in right wing terms the pitchfork gang can understand and appreciate, tweaked it thusly: “Treason? House Passes Direct Assault On Industrial Base.” It is accompanied by a photo of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. The AP article is what real journalism is all about, as it describes what happened in the House of Representatives with no reference to “treason.” The Fox Nation headline is a subjective statement of pure right wing propaganda by those who haven’t read the constitution and is aimed at those who are constitutionally illiterate.

Our right wing is either going to implode from its own phenomenal dumbfuckery, or explode from same. They can’t go on like this without one of those two things happening. I just hope they don’t fatally injure America when they finally pop.

Perhaps they won’t, seeing as how they might eliminate themselves first:

While noting that “conspiracy theories have been a constant in Rep. Michele Bachmann’s political career since she first ran for the Stillwater school board in the late 1990s,” the Minneapolis-St. Paul Star-Tribune’s editorial page called into question the collateral damage that could stem from Bachmann’s irrational 2010 Census fear-mongering. The Star-Tribune points out that not only is Bachmann “a politician interested more in being the face of the fringe element than solving the real-life problems of her north-suburban district,” but that “she may be setting in motion events that could substantially hurt her home state and potentially cost her the office she occupies.” The Star-Tribune writes:

The 2010 census will likely determine whether Minnesota loses one of its eight U.S. House seats; population determines seat allocation. Political experts agree that a few thousand people not filling out census forms may be all it takes for the state to lose a congressional advocate in the nation’s capital. If Minnesota were to lose a congressional seat, Bachmann’s district appears to be candidate for absorption.

I’m torn. On the one hand, it would be a shame for voters to lose a Congressional seat when their population says they should have one. On the other hand, we are talking about a district where the majority voted Michele Bachmann into office. So I think that if her Census fearmongering leads a lot of people to break Federal law and thus lose their seat, I’m going to laugh my ass off with merely a passing pang of pity.

And it gives me hope that these fucktards will crazy themselves right out of public office. That would be awesome.