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Mysterious Sounds

So I’m watching teevee and doing Happy Hour, and I hear this sound like a screaming rubber chicken imitating an air raid siren. If you can imagine air trying to escape from a constipated whoopee cushion, with long pauses between efforts, it’s sorta like that.

I pause the show.

Silence.

Resume show.

Screaming-rubber-chicken-air-raid-siren, only this time it sounds like the chicken’s being strangled with its beak up to a microphone.

Pause.

Whoopee-cushion-in-desperate-need-of-Ex-Lax.

This, my friends, is the sound of my cat snoring.


I’m almost afraid to go to bed now.

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