Carnival of the Elitist Bastards XI: "We Prefer the Term 'Awesome.'"


The eleventh sailing of the HMS Elitist Bastard’s up at Z’s place. We be organized elitist bastards this time round: we left port on time and in good order. Huzzah! Settle yerselves in yer hammocks and enjoy a long, leisurely sail with some of the smartest bastards on the intertoobz.

Carnival of the Elitist Bastards XI: "We Prefer the Term 'Awesome.'"
{advertisement}

Happy Hour Discurso

Today’s opining on the public discourse.

It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for, my darlings. The House Cons finally released a budget with actual numbers. You might have thought that nothing could be more pathetic than that little 19-page brochure they issued last week, but if you thought that, you have no faith in the ability of Cons to exponentially increase their stupidity:

The AP report on the new Republican alternative budget doesn’t even try to capture just how truly ridiculous it is, but there was one part of the article that caught my eye.

Despite spending reductions, the plan projects permanent deficits exceeding $500 billion into the future, fueled largely by big tax cuts.

The GOP plan would offer a dramatically simplified tax code in which couples would have the option of a 10 percent rate on the first $100,000 of income, with a 25 percent rate thereafter, with the first $25,000 of income exempt from taxation. Single could get a $12,500 exemption and a 10 percent rate on income up to $50,000.

Taxpayers could also opt to remain in the current system.

Right. If you like the tax system left by Bush/Cheney, you could choose to stick with it. Or, if you prefer the lower rates proposed by GOP lawmakers, you could choose to go that route, instead.

[snip]

But that’s not the funny part. The hilarious angle to this is that the House Republicans run enormous budget deficits while assuming the top earners would voluntarily pay the higher rate.

If their so-called “budget” were being shelved at a bookstore, it would be going in the Humor section.

While the Cons issue fantasies thinly disguised as budgets, they’re also getting spanked by people they’re deliberately misrepresenting in order to spread blatant lies:

Think Progress previously reported the outright lie being told by Republicans that the green economy legislation before Congress would “cost every American family up to $3,100 per year in higher energy prices.” GOP leaders apparently arrived at this number by intentionally misinterpreting a 2007 study conducted by MIT.

PolitiFact interviewed John Reilly, an MIT professor and one of the authors of the study, who explained he had spoken with a representative from the House Republicans on March 20, and that he had clearly told them, “why the estimate they had was probably incorrect and what they should do to correct it.” Nonetheless, Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) and Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) decided to use the $3,100 figure to attack cap-and-trade

[snip]

Today, Professor Reilly sent a forceful letter to Boehner and the Select Committee on Energy Independence and Global Warming to denounce this blatant distortion being told by Congressional Republicans. Reilly noted that $3,100 was actually “10 times the correct estimate which is approximately $340″ and that the costs on lower and middle income households can be “completely offset by returning allowance revenue to these households”:

It has come to my attention that an analysis we conducted examining proposals to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, Report No., 146, Assessment of U.S. Cap-and-Trade Proposals, has been misrepresented in recent press releases distributed by the National Republican Congressional Committee. The press release claims our report estimates an average cost per family of a carbon cap and trade program that would meet targets now being discussed in Congress to be over $3,000, but that is nearly 10 times the correct estimate which is approximately $340. […] Our Report 160 shows that the costs on lower and middle income households can be completely offset by returning allowance revenue to these households.


Poor Professor Reilly. He wasted all that time and those poor trees to write a letter that likely ended up immediately in Boehner’s circular file. Doesn’t fit the Con reality, y’see, so down the memory hole it goes. And the Cons continue blathering their lies.

They also keep getting confused over the difference between weather and global warming:

Sen. James Inhofe (R) believes snow in his home state of Oklahoma is compelling evidence that global warming isn’t real. Seriously.

The amusing part of this is that Inhofe began his remarks by blasting a House bill, championed by Reps. Henry Waxman and Ed Markey, that would create an ambitious cap-and-trade system. Inhofe called it “a job-killing tax increase,” which would do “nothing to address climate change.”

That almost makes it sound as if Inhofe is looking for legislation that would address climate change.

Of course, he quickly put that to rest, noting that Oklahoma recently saw “the largest snowstorm in the history of Marches.”

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the fuckwit that the Cons put in charge of the Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works. I shit you not.

And the man they turn to as their hero? It’s no wonder they love him so much – he reflects their ignorance perfectly:

Oof. Looks like Joe the Plumber’s campaigning against the Employee Free Choice Act in Pennsylvania didn’t go so well.
Mr. Plumber, whose appearances were organized by the anti-EFCA group Americans for Prosperity, admitted he knew “little” about the legislation after being confronted with questions at one of the events yesterday in Harrisburg by a Pennsylvania progressive group. He was also heckled by dozens of Pennsylvania union workers, according to a local report.
And after his rough time in Harrisburg, he skipped a subsequent rally in Philadelphia, according to union officials wh
o were there.

[snip]

Pressed on the specifics of the law, Mr. Plumber repeatedly refused to answer, and finally lost his cool, telling his questioner: “Drop it, brother, drop it. I never said I was an expert, man.”


I do believe the stupidity just overtopped the dam, my darlings. Prepare to get buried up to the neck.

Happy Hour Discurso

Too Crazy for the Mildly Crazy

John Pieret notes the defection of a Christian philanthropist (and Prop 8 supporter) from the Con party, and ends with an apt observation:

The interesting point may be that, having already alienated the rational conservatives like Colin Powell, the present Republican dimwittery may now be alienating even the non-rational ones.

At this rate, the Democratic party’s going to have to order another big tent. It’s getting rather crowded in the current one.

Too Crazy for the Mildly Crazy

Watching Teevee

I spent most of today at home, cleaning and arranging decorative shit, hanging decorative shit, and trying to get curtains to hang right on the first try. All of this stuff is dreadfully exciting. So exciting that I felt the need to watch more teevee than I have in two years.

It’s been… odd.

There was a program on about a dinosaur find in the Gobi that should crush any IDiotic argument about the lack of transitional fossils. There’s a ton of them in that dig, and it’s just one small dig from one small period of Earth’s history. They found a precursor to the T-Rex, for fuck’s sake. Oh, and no signs of humans riding it.

Then there was something about a dinosaur mummy that I didn’t pay enough attention to, but recorded for future perusal.

I saw a katana split a speeding bullet in half, and the blade didn’t even get nicked. That was absolutely awesome.

Judge shows aren’t running out of litigants. And they’re still just one step above Jerry Springer.

The Atacama Desert gets one millimeter of rain per year, on average. That wasn’t surprising. What shocked me was that the Mojave gets less rain than the Sahara. Yet it has more plants. Go figure.

On the one hand, I’m filled with facts and images that will someday prove useful in my spelunking of the blogosphere and my writing. On the other hand, it’s all pretty shallow, dumbed-down stuff. I much prefer the science blogs or a good book. But since you can’t read easily while running about drilling holes in the wall, this is a nice way to hang your curtains and have your science, too.

The floor is open. Opinions? Favorite programs? General gripes and complaints about the vapidity of teevee? Have at.

Watching Teevee

Get Out of the Cantina and Go Have Some Coffee

I think my heart sister NP is in the high-energy phase of her pregnancy. Her coffee house is hopping, and she’s got plenty of projects for you to participate in.

April is National Poetry Month (NPM). Care to join the celebration? NP’s making it easy for you:

If you’d like to share a poem, you can email me with the poem, poet, and source, and a few sentences about why you’re sharing the poem. You can send me a link to your NPM posts on your own blog or site and I’ll promote them, as well. If you’d like to send an original poem, please include a few sentences about yourself to serve as a brief bio.

I’ll be doing that in just a few days here. Maybe I’ll even be really cruel to you lot and post a Dana Hunter original.

If you’re poetically inclined, you can participate in NaPoWriMo. This year, they’re not just encouraging you to write a poem a day, but gather sponsors to keep poetry freely flowing through the intertoobz. NP will be happy to give you some exposure by posting links to your poetry. I’m not much of a poet, so I’m giving this one a miss. Still, it’s a fun idea, and for a good cause!

Want some handcrafted love from a professional writer? NP has a pay-it-forward project going. Act fast – there’ll only be five lucky people! I’ll stay out of the running so you have a chance, although I feel like I’m cheating. NP’s already giving me something homemade: a nephew. So, if you lose out over at her place, comment here and get a little something crafty from Dana. I make no warranties as to quality, however.

And, finally, there’s the 100 Books Project:

Andromeda Ramano-Lax, and friend of Moonrat, decided to collect “a list of 100 books that she wants to have read in her life to fill in some of her reading gaps of classics and great contemporary fiction.” She gave herself 5 years to get through the list, and gave herself a 75% passing percentage (meaning if she finishes 75 titles in the 5-year span, she’s accomplished her goal).

Got title suggestions? Send ’em to her! And if you decide to create your own list, let both of us know so we can link you.

It’s nice to think of something other than pollyticks for once, innit? Go have yourselves some fun! I’ll meet you back here later for more fun with stupity.

Get Out of the Cantina and Go Have Some Coffee