These aren’t tears of sadness glistening on my cheeks, my darlings. Not by half.

Make sure you’re securely seated with drinks fully swallowed. Ready? Go:

When Barack Obama looked Americans in the metaphoric eye and told them he was not and was never a Muslim, he had, admittedly, been worshipping at the Trinity United Church of Christ for 20-odd years. So we know for certain that he is not a Christian.

Pause.

Longer pause.

Bwah-ha ha ha ha ha! Hee hee whadafuckinmoron heh ha ha *snort* ohjeez. Heh.

I think I strained a muscle…. Ed Brayton’s got more where that came from, if you’re up to it. I need to go have a lie-down.