It brought to mind one of my favorite stories from Garrett. His friend Steve Stone, who’s a pagan and a Jew (great combo!) got a letter from one of the local churches “inviting” him to join. He announced this to the pagan church he belongs to one outing.
They all crowded ’round. “Steve, what’d it say?”
“Well,” Steve said, “it was kinda like this.” He put on his best Mafia don voice and paraphrased, “You come to church, you pay your tithe, we don’t gotta problem. You don’t come to church, you don’t pay your tithe, we gots a problem.”
You know something? If God’s that much of an asshole, I’d rather end up in Hell anyway, thanks ever so much. At least the people there will be quite a bit more interesting, and from what I’ve read of Satan, he could hold a lively conversation and likes good music.
If you have to resort to threats to get people to convert, your religion’s got some serious issues.
And what the fuck is up with these sunlit-clouds motifs? Every evangelical religious site and pamphlet is infested with kitschy sunlit-cloud photos. It’s so vapid. And it’s totally at odds with the whole “God loves you unless you don’t toe the line – then he’s really gonna be pissed” motif. Why not illustrate with something like this: