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Jun 08 2008

Happy Hour Discurso

Today’s opining on the public discourse.

Welcome to the dazed, confused and very sleep-deprived edition of Happy Hour Discurso. I don’t know how the rest of you manage jobs and social lives on top of blogging. I, for one, need a vacation after my latest vacation, especially since it extended to breakfast with a delightful atheists’ group this morning. Morning. Me. Urgh.

So if the Smack-o-Matic seems a little lethargic this evening, you’ll know the reason.

Right, then. Let’s see if we can muster a good swing, because Bush certainly has it coming (like he ever doesn’t):

The Senate has already passed a defense spending bill with billions of additional dollars for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and with the House poised to take up the measure,
the president devoted
his weekly radio address to the subject. Bush seemed quite anxious to present himself as the troops’ best friend in Washington, insisting that if the House follows
the Senate’s lead and passes a spending bill that the White House doesn’t like, those in uniform lose.

“The Pentagon will run out of money it needs to support critical day-to-day operations that help keep our Nation safe. And after July, the department will no longer be able to pay our troops — including those serving in Afghanistan and Iraq.

“Our men and women in uniform and their families deserve better than this. Around the world, our troops are taking on dangerous missions with skill and determination…. Each day, the men and women of our Armed Forces risk their lives to make sure their fellow citizens are safer. They serve with courage and honor. They’ve earned the respect of all Americans. And they deserve the full support of Congress. I often hear members of Congress say they oppose the war, but still support the troops. Now they have a chance to prove it. Congress should pass a responsible funding bill that gives our men and women in uniform the resources they need — and the support they have earned.”

We’re obviously well past the point at which anyone can expect honesty and integrity from Still-President Bush, but these comments were especially annoying.

First, the main sticking point in the disagreement between Congress and the administration is the Webb/Hagel measure to expand and revise the GI Bill. In other words, Bush is prepared
to reject funding for the wars because Democrats (and more than a few Republicans) want to give the troops more generous educational benefits. Somehow, the president’s radio address omitted this detail.

And second, for all of Bush’s talk about paying the troops and what they and their families “deserve,” what the radio address neglected to mention is that the Democratic Congress is trying to give the troops a raise — and the Bush administration thinks it costs too much.

Deep breath. Exploratory swing. Ready.

Look, you neuron-deficient, fucktarded, lying sack of shit, we’ve figured out by now that if you say the sky’s blue, it’s time to give serious consideration to the possibility it’s green. Do you expect anyone but your 28-percenters to buy a single word of that ridiculous tripe?

Our men and women in uniform and their families deserve better than you, Monkey Boy. All you’ve been interested in is playing armchair warrior, sending people in to get limbs blown off when they’re not getting their lives blown out. You’re pissed off about this bill because it doesn’t funnel enough money to your buddies, not because it doesn’t “support our troops.” The last thing you want to see, apparently, is the troops getting the support and financing they deserve. They’re less than nothing to you. They’re just meat for the grinder. So stop fucking pretending they mean so godsdamned much to you.

Fuck you and your little Cheney, too. Assclown.

Oh, and fuck your golden boy McSame, too.

The timing is remarkable. Just as Hillary Clinton wraps up her presidential campaign, John McCain’s team decides that she wasn’t such a bad candidate after all. Remarkable.

Late yesterday, about four hours after Clinton suspended her campaign and threw her support to Barack Obama, Michael Goldfarb, the official McCain blogger, posted a picture of McCain and Clinton together, over a complimentary post.


Senator Clinton has really grown on us over here [at McCain campaign headquarters] over the past few months. She ran an impressive campaign, and proved herself to be an impressive candidate and as John McCain has said, inspired a generation of women. Ultimately, and ironically, it seems she fell victim to a vast left-wing conspiracy that resented her generally centrist foreign policy views (early support for the Iraq war, support for Kyl-Lieberman, unwavering support for Israel, etc.). […]


Look, Superstition Boy, there IS no “vast left-wing conspiracy.” It’s the right that’s cornered the market on the vast conspiracy business. Right now, you’re all apparently conspiring to appear as stupid as you possibly can, and it’s working a treat. What the fuck do you think you’re going to get, embracing Hillary Clinton? Think her butt-hurt supporters will cross over to you? They’re fucking progressives. Her policies were progressive. Barack Obama’s policies are progressive. You’re a fucking regressive. When they get over their hurt feelings, they’ll realize that and vote accordingly.

And if you were trying to kill her credibility by embracing her, you’re too fucking late. She shattered her credibility when she pulled out a bag full of Republicon tactics in her desperate bid to beat Obama.

What is this, some pathetic attempt to drum up some Democratic good will because you know that without some of their magic reflecting off you, you’re going to get your ass handed to you? Puh-leeze. You’re trying to filch Obama’s message of hope, change and unity, but you can’t sing the song and you can’t dance the dance, so you might as well give it up and go back to being the retarded piece of shit that right-wingers seem to love sooo very much in their politicians.

I’m too tired to deal with any more of your fuckwittery for one day. Go crawl under a rock. I’m sure you’ll be back for a sound spanking tomorrow, but in the meantime, leave us the fuck alone.