Robert O’Brien Nominee: Dr. E. Calvin Beisner

I’d never heard of Dr. E. Calvin Beisner until reading this article. He’s the founder of an anti-environmental Christian think tank. And he says the people protesting the Keystone XL pipeline at the White House are making the baby Jesus cry:

In addition, according to Beisner, the religious protestors are acting contrary to the religion they profess.

“They profess to believe the Bible,” he points out. “Well, the Bible tells them that they’re supposed to obey the governing authorities unless those governing authorities either require them to do what God forbids or forbids them to do what God requires — and that has not happened. So they are actually disobeying scripture by doing this.”

How convenient. God disapproves of protests against things he’s for. I bet he’s all for protests against reproductive rights, gay rights and anything else he disagrees with — though neither of those things requires anyone to do anything that their God allegedly forbids.

Robert O’Brien Nominee: Frank Turek

I hate motivational speakers. Hate them with a disgust that borders on unhealthy. Tony Robbins is pretty much the definition of evil to me. I once got fired from a company for making fun of a motivational speaker they brought in to fire everyone up. The fact that I did it during his speech and seemingly robbed him of his hyperactive mojo probably had something to do with it, but he’s the one that asked the question. I just answered it.

My pure loathing for motivational speakers is not diminished when I read about Frank Turek, who belongs to the wingnut variety of the profession I despise so much. He was fired by Cisco as a motivational speaker because he spends much of his time ranting about the evils of being gay. Because he says stupid things like this:
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Robert O’Brien Nominee: Linda Harvey

This one is a real doozy. Wingnut Linda Harvey of Mission America says gay people don’t even exist:

Harvey: There’s one big fact that’s not backed up. There is no proof that there’s ever anything like a gay, lesbian or bisexual or transgendered child, or teen or human. One of the other things you’re gonna see as I mentioned is a big campaign GLSEN’s gonna roll out this year calling for ‘respect,’ respect! Not just for people, but for homosexual lifestyle. The PR campaign to hold up gay as a good thing: the lifestyle, not the person, because there are no such humans.

Great. If they don’t exist, maybe you should stop trying to oppress them.

Robert O’Brien Nominee: Norman Podhoretz

From neo-con founding father Norman Podhoretz:

“I emphatically agree with Messrs. Limbaugh and Sowell about this president’s attitude toward America as it exists and as the Founding Fathers intended it. That is why my own answer to the question, “What Happened to Obama?” is that nothing happened to him. He is still the same anti-American leftist he was before becoming our president, and it is this rather than inexperience or incompetence or weakness or stupidity that accounts for the richly deserved failure both at home and abroad of the policies stemming from that reprehensible cast of mind.”

Andrew Sullivan responds perfectly when he says, “If the Obama of his dreams did not exist, he would have to invent him. And so he did.” And so the right has been doing since the moment Obama entered public life.

Robert O’Brien Nominee: Allen West

This is a two parter. Part one:

WEST: You cannot compare me and my race to a behaviour. Sexuality is a behaviour. And so yeah, I said, I cannot change my color. People can change their sexual behavior. And I’ve seen people do that. You know, I grew up in Atlanta, Georgia, so I’ve seen a very different perspective on human behaviours. So that’s where I’m coming from with that…

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Robert O’Brien Nominee: Jim DeMint

While reading this, bear in mind that it comes from a guy who thinks we should forbid pregnant women from being teachers:

“We saw within a few days that this President was going to be heavy-handed, he was going to implement his agenda and pay back his political allies, and it just went on from there to ObamaCare and then to Dodd-Frank. It has been the most anti-business and I consider anti-American administration in my lifetime.”

I love the smell of nationalistic demagoguery in the morning.

Robert O’Brien Nominee: Bryan Fischer

This one is just funny:

Our military strength is a function of our spiritual strength. We can have the strongest and mightiest military in the world in terms of guns and ammunition and tanks and soldiers, but if we are not spiritually strong as a people, we can be defeated, we can and will suffer defeat. So it is absolutely critical for us who care about this nation, who care about the United States, to say “look, we have got to be spiritually strong as a people if we are going to be militarily strong.”

That’s why it is so important that we have in the military men of faith, men of Christian faith, who are in touch with God and with the spirit of God. Because when they come together to formulate battle plans, their minds are going to be quickened by the Holy Spirit of God and under his nudgings, his promptings, they’re going to be able to develop battle plans that are going to lead to victory on the field of conflict.

Robert O’Brien Nominee: Rick Perry

Yet another one from Gov. Rick Perry, explaining what he would pray for at his event last weekend:

Perry: I’m gonna be praying for our country’s economic prosperity. There just so many people that can’t take care of their family because government’s over-taxed, over-regulated, over-litigated, it caused roadblocks to economic prosperity. I just don’t see any relief in sight.

Taxes and regulations are decided by elected officials. And God doesn’t have a vote.

Robert O’Brien Nominee: Robert Spencer

First class whackadoodle Robert Spencer, Pam Geller’s pal, was on the 700 Club recently. And he has the press all figured out:

Robertson: Tell me what it is about the media today that seems to be in favor of radical Islam, why do they want to put down anybody who tells the truth about this cult?

Spencer: Well I tell you I think the unpleasant truth about it is, is that the media being hard left is essentially anti-American. And so anything that’s American, that’s Western, that’s Christian, that’s Judeo-Christian, they hate. And so they see Islam and it’s non-Western and non-Christian and they love it.

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Robert O’Brien Nominee: Rick Perry

From now on, the dumbass quotes of the day are going to be labeled as Robert O’Brien nominees so I can once again begin giving out my Robert O’Brien Award on a monthly basis. At the end of each month we’ll vote on the idiot of the month. Today’s nominee, from Gov. Rick Perry of Texas:

“There are clear indications from our people who have amazing intellectual capability that this didn’t happen by accident and a creator put this in place,” Perry said.

“Now, what was his time frame and how did he create the earth that we know? I’m not going to tell you that I’ve got the answers to that,” Perry said. “I believe that we were created by this all-powerful supreme being and how we got to today versus what we look like thousands of years ago, I think there’s enough holes in the theory of evolution to, you know, say there are some holes in that theory.”

A vague appeal to anonymous authority and an ignorant statement to finish it off. He’s certainly qualified for the Republican nomination.

Robert O’Brien Nominee: Lou Engle

From lunatic Lou Engle of The Call:

Can a homosexual have civil rights in America? They might. But it is not their right given by God. Their right is to repent and stand until Jesus delivers, and then the Church must go into war for them and get them free. Brothers and sisters, we made it two spheres: government has a sphere and God has a sphere. That’s what they did in Hitler’s day, they voted for money in economic crisis and they sacrificed the sanctity of life of the Jews. We do the same thing in America.

*scratching head*

Robert O’Brien Nominee: Michael Bresciani

From wingnut Michael Bresciani:

In our world most of those spreading the gay lie are liberals, activists, spineless academicians, Hollywood sellouts, and now we can throw in a president and a large contingent of fully duped politicians…There is little doubt that the entire gay and lesbian community is guided by a powerful demon spirit who is subordinate to Satan.

It’s much funnier if you read it in the Church Lady voice.