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Category Archive: Religious Weirdness

Jul 25 2014

Pastor: Gays Possessed by ‘Putrid Smelling Demons’

In one of the most deranged anti-gay columns you’ll ever read, Pastor Bert Ferias of Holy Fires Ministries asks gay people to “please do not get upset with me” for speaking “very plainly and straightforward (sic) about homosexuality.” And then he launches on a long screed that includes this:

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Jul 24 2014

A Really Bad Reason to Ban Circumcision

There is a growing movement in this country and around the world to ban male circumcision, but a legislator in Zimbabwe has come up with the worst justification ever for doing so: Because the foreskin can be used in witchcraft to curse people.

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Jul 22 2014

Jesus Took the Wheel; You’ll Totally Believe What Happened Next

A woman in Ft. Wayne is in jail after running over a motorcyclist because, she said, God told her out of the blue that he would take over the driving. I think she may be taking that “God is my co-pilot” bumper sticker just a little bit too literally.

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Jul 01 2014

Jesus Found In an Apple

jesusapple

Jesus has apparently grown tired of appearing in vague images on tortillas, toast and bathroom mold. He’s now appearing on the skin of an apple in New Mexico, though no one other than the why who claims it’s there can see it. Here’s the image:

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Jun 18 2014

I Heart William Tapley

I find William Tapley endlessly entertaining. The self-declared “third eagle of the apocalypse” makes these bizarre Youtube videos pointing out symbolism that no one else sees and relates it all to the Bible and the “end times.” In this video, he finds information about what the Illuminati has planned in, of all places, a Miracle …

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Jun 12 2014

Drunk (Driving) on the Holy Spirit

Here’s one of the weirder attempts to get out of being arrested you’ll ever hear about. A man in Washington was pulled over for drunk driving and told the police officer that they could do a blood test, but he was only drunk on the holy spirit, not alcohol. Turns out, not so much.

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Jun 04 2014

Ee’s Not Dead, Ee’s Resting

The richest guru in India died of a heart attack in January. Doctors have declared him dead. But his followers insist that he isn’t dead, he’s just in an incredibly deep state of meditation. So deep that he has no heartbeat or brain activity and has to be kept in a freezer.

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Jun 02 2014

The ‘I Used to Be a Skeptic’ Pose

One of the standard rhetorical forms we hear from some types of Christians (and wooey new agers too) is how they used to be such a serious unbeliever, a thoroughgoing skeptic, but they just couldn’t resist the truth (often “Truth”) any longer. A new study shows that this is very effective in convincing people of …

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May 20 2014

Another Uncomfortable Bible Passage

When people ask me why I’m no longer a Christian, I often say “because I read the Bible.” I’m not just being snarky, I mean it literally. If I hadn’t read the Bible so much, I may have stayed a Christian. But it contains so many passages that are appalling and/or ridiculous that I simply …

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May 16 2014

Pope Fluffy and the Devil

Paul Fidalgo has taken to calling Pope Francis I “Pope Fluffy.” Personally, I’ve liked a lot of the things he’s said and done and found him mostly, though not entirely, refreshing. But he apparently has a bit of an obsession with the devil, the most convenient myth in Christianity.

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May 15 2014

God Intervenes to Save a Church

Fox News has discovered genuine divine intervention. The same God who apparently can’t be bothered to save millions of starving and diseased children did take time out of his busy day to stop a boulder from crashing through a church in Massachusetts.

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May 12 2014

Muslim Exorcism Kills Man in Pakistan

Did you know that Muslims have exorcisms just like Christians do? I didn’t. But an attempt to free a man of “demonic possession” in Pakistan using smoke ended with that man dead and the man who performed the exorcism facing possible criminal charges.

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Apr 28 2014

Christianity Today on Female Masturbation

Christianity Today has a whole section dedicated to women. It’s called Her.meneutics. Get it? That’s hilarious. And they’re letting all the women folk know the real reason they feel compelled to masturbate (because apparently “it feels good” is too obvious an explanation).

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Apr 17 2014

Hagee: Blood Moons Start of End Times

Early Tuesday morning we had the first of four “blood moons” — eclipses where atmospheric conditions make the moon look blood red — and a whole bunch of Christian conservatives of the premillenial variety have been heralding it as the sign of…well, something really important. John Hagee is one of them.

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Apr 10 2014

Polish Priest Says Legos are Evil

From the same people that brought you gay Teletubbies and Disney movies that turn your kids over to Satan comes a brand new ridiculous bit of fear-mongering. A Catholic priest in Poland has declared that Legos are evil and turn kids on to “sin and occultism.”

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