Meet the World’s Most Powerful ‘Witch’

A friend on Facebook pointed me to the amazing website of Kevin Carlyon, who declares himself to be “the high priest of British white witches” and “possibly one of the world’s most powerful witches and spellcasters.” I like the “possibly” — you don’t want to be too brash about these things, you know. Just reading the first page leaves your jaw agape, starting with this disclaimer:
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WND Cites ‘Expert’ on ‘Demonology’

It’s Halloween time and you know what that means. It means we get treated to the bleatings of Christian fundamentalists who think that participating in Halloween opens children (and adults, presumably) up to demonic possession. Whatever the hell that is. The Worldnetdaily is concerned with more than Halloween, though; they’re concerned about the popularity of zombies, vampires and other bad beasties.
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Santorum Battles Satan Himself

Rick Santorum is now the CEO of a Christian movie company while in between presidential elections and they’ve got a new movie out that will undoubtedly earn thousands of dollars at the box office. So he’s making the rounds of the Christian TV shows asking people to see the movie because Satan controls the movie industry. And as Right Wing Watch notes, he was complaining about materialism in movies at, of all places, the Trinity Broadcasting Network, home of prosperity gospel preachers getting so rich by fleecing the sheep that they have homes built for their dogs. Irony!
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Todd Bentley Makes It Rain Gold

Christian con man Todd Bentley, now back in the spotlight after a divorce and remarriage briefly got him cast out by the faithful, went on Rick Joyner’s show and told an amazing story about a revival in South Africa where his wife was turned to gold, along with everything else they touched, and it actually rained gold from the sky. Evidence? Surely, you jest. You don’t need evidence when you’re dealing with the credulous folks that follow these frauds.
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Jacobs’ Son Prevents Presidential Assassinations

It turns out that Cindy Jacobs’ amazing powers are not limited to just her. Her 6-year old son also has the special magic. He can even prevent the assassination of the president through the overwhelming power of his prayers. Seriously, I can’t imagine why anyone takes this woman seriously. Could she be any more obvious a fraud?
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Pat Robertson’s Health Care Plan

An elderly viewer wrote to Pat Robertson on the 700 Club saying that her husband has serious medical problems and they are on a very limited income, asking if it was okay to spend money they give to the church for medical expenses instead. Robertson, of course, said no, that if you tithe you wouldn’t have medical problems.
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Driving Makes Womens’ Pelvises ‘Roll Up’

As women in Saudi Arabia try to win the right to drive for the first time, a Saudi sheikh and — for crying out loud — psychologist says that there is a very good reason not to let them drive. If women drive, it will affect their ovaries and their pelvises will “roll up.” Whatever the hell that means.
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Pat Robertson and Faith Healing

As a teenager I watched the 700 Club (literally) religiously. It was on in our house every day and almost always included Pat Robertson closing his eyes tightly (the tighter you close them, the better the connection to God, apparently) and telling no one in particular that God was healing them of vague maladies. He was asked about this on the 700 Club recently:
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Jacobs Can Grow Bones and Eliminate Tumors!

Cindy Jacobs continues to make outlandish and ridiculous claims about her magical power to heal people, with no evidence whatsoever to back them up. Her latest is to claim that she once made a woman grow a new cheek bone and her own tumor that the devil had placed “behind my female organs or whatever.”
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Fun With Cindy Jacobs

Our old friend Cindy Jacobs unleashes the “whirlwind of God,” knocking over credulous audience members and delivers a message from God that He will “kiss the ground of Kansas.” This kind of thing cracks me up to watch. It’s such a transparent scam that I continue to be astonished that anyone could fall for it. But I think Benny Hinn does that slaying in the spirit thing better than she does; he can take down dozens of people at a time. My favorite part is at the end, when she starts “speaking in tongues,” which sounds a lot like incoherent baby talk and asks “Can you feel it?” Yep. I can feel you sucking the money right out of the wallets of that audience full of suckers.
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Pat Robertson’s Operation Blessing Scam

Pat Robertson and his followers make a big deal about Operation Blessing, his longtime charity wing that makes all kinds of claims about all the good things they do. Critics have long accused him of using that charity to further his financial investments, especially in African mining. A new documentary provides evidence for those criticisms, like how they use images of charity efforts that don’t involve them to make it look like they’re doing all the important work:
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