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Category Archive: Catholic Church

Jun 18 2014

Wisconsin Bishop’s Inane Screed Against Marriage Equality

Last week a federal judge overturned Wisconsin’s ban on same-sex marriage, following the lead of every other judge to consider such a ban since the Supreme Court ruled on DOMA last year. Bishop Robert C. Morlino of the Madison, Wisconsin diocese released this absurd statement about the ruling:

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Jun 15 2014

Catholic Church Wants to Sue Over Jesus Commercial

Just in case you had the idea that the Catholic Church couldn’t get any more ridiculous than it already is, think again. The Archdiocese of Rio, Brazil, is threatening to sue the Italian soccer team because they made a commercial that included a Jesus statue in a soccer uniform.

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Jun 12 2014

Archbishop Wasn’t Sure Child Molestation Was Illegal

The Archbishop of St. Louis, Robert Carlson, was deposed in a lawsuit over child molesting priests that he helped cover up, said during that deposition that he wasn’t sure that a priest molesting a child was illegal and can’t remember when he found out that it was.

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Jun 10 2014

Pope: Pray for Peace in the Middle East

Pope Francis has a brilliant new idea for how to bring peace to the middle east. No one in the entire history of the world has ever thought of this idea that is sure to change the world completely and bring the two sides together once and for all. The answer? Prayer.

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Jun 05 2014

Another Horrifying Story About the Catholic Church

The first part of this story is old, but the full understanding of what happened is new. Decades ago the bodies of nearly 800 babies were found in a septic tank at a place called The Home, a facility for unwed mothers and their babies, near Galway, Ireland.

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May 21 2014

Secularism Leads to Superstition. Or Something.

The Catholic Church recently held a conference to train more than 200 priests to become exorcists so they can cast out non-existent demons from people who need genuine psychological help. Apparently there’s been a big surge in possession and, wouldn’t you know it, it’s all the fault of secularism.

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May 16 2014

Pope Fluffy and the Devil

Paul Fidalgo has taken to calling Pope Francis I “Pope Fluffy.” Personally, I’ve liked a lot of the things he’s said and done and found him mostly, though not entirely, refreshing. But he apparently has a bit of an obsession with the devil, the most convenient myth in Christianity.

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May 12 2014

Harvard Club Hosts Black Mass; Catholic Church Freaks Out

A student group at Harvard has invited the Satanic Temple to perform a “black mass” ceremony at the university as part of a series on rituals performed by smaller religions. Naturally, the Catholic Church is throwing a temper tantrum about it and is demanding that it be canceled.

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Apr 24 2014

Ugandan Catholic Bishop Calls for Anti-Gay Violence

One of Uganda’s Catholic bishops delivered an Easter homily that focused not on the resurrection of Jesus or the church’s message of hope and atonement but on the need for people of that country to commit violence against gay people in order to rid the country of homosexuality.

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Apr 17 2014

Donohue’s Delusions

Bill Donohue of the Catholic League — really just an angry, red-faced guy with a P.O. Box and a fax machine who likes to put out press release — is a bit delusional. The Catholic Church has no problem with priests abusing children anymore. “I don’t know of a single institution which has less of …

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Mar 06 2014

Cath. School Won’t March in Parade if Gay Veterans Can

A Catholic school marching band is withdrawing from the annual Boston St. Patrick’s Day Parade because a group of gay military veterans have also been approved to march in it. Because apparently just walking down the same street with gay people can give you the cooties.

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Feb 23 2014

The Priorities of the Catholic Church

The New York Times has a report on the Catholic Archdiocese of Newark, which is apparently so poor that it was forced to close down one of its schools. But not so poor that it can’t spend more than half a million dollars on an expansion for the retirement home of its current archbishop, which …

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Jan 30 2014

Bill Donohue’s Ignorant Distinctions

Right wing Catholic blowhard Bill Donohue has a problem. The new pope has made helping the poor a major focus of his leadership and spoken out about the dangers of income inequality. So has President Obama. But he hates Obama and is forced to defend the pope, so he has to make presumptuous and ignorant …

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Jan 20 2014

The Vatican’s Pathetic Excuses

On Thursday in Geneva, a United Nations panel held a remarkable hearing about the global problem of child rape by priests and questioned representatives from the Vatican about it. I’m sure you won’t be surprised to hear that the Vatican offered an astonishingly hypocritical response to those questions:

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Jan 15 2014

Catholic Church Protects Another (Alleged) Pedophile

Polish Archbishop Josef Wesolowski is under investigation both in Poland and the Dominican Republic for raping children but the Vatican refuses to allow him to be extradited to either country because, they say, he has diplomatic immunity since he was in the Dominican Republican as a Papal Nuncio, not as a priest.

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