Patriots Release, I Mean Persecute, Tim Tebow

Of course you do. Try Fabreze. It just goes on and on like this for pages. The funniest ones were all the comments saying something like, “If only he had a bunch of kids with different women or did drugs, every team would love to have him.” Such absurdity. The fact that the NFL often overlooks terrible behavior by their athletes is because the only thing they care about is talent and winning. That someone could seriously think that an NFL team would refuse to make Tebow their QB because he’s too Christian is incredibly inane.

Look, Tebow will go and do what he was inevitably going to do after football, which is form Tim Tebow Ministries, write a book, make a huge amount of money giving motivational speeches and probably market a sports drink called JesusAde.

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63 comments on this post.
  1. raven:

    Naw.

    It’s all part of god’s plan.

    Tebow can go back to converting the Catholics of the Phillipines to Oogedy Boogedy Protestantism.

  2. Modusoperandi:

    Blessed be the quarterbacks…

  3. rowanvt:

    Now I will forever wonder what JesusAde would taste like. Thanks. :/

  4. raven:

    Tim Tebow is famous for converting the Filipinos to xianity.

    But that wasn’t what he was doing.

    The Phillipines are 90% xian. This is a lot higher than the USA, which comes in at 68%.

    He was converting Fake xians known as Catholics to fundie-ism. In fact, his father, the head missionary is a known anti-Catholic.

    But converting Catholics is job security. With half of all xians being Catholics, that billion is going to take a long time to convert.

  5. kyoseki:

    He should probably just quit professional football or go play for his hometown of Jacksonville, but I repeat myself.

  6. UnknownEric the Apostate:

    Yes, it’s entirely due to his faith and has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he can’t throw worth a shit. Thank you, the Blaze! ;)

  7. Bronze Dog:

    I’m reminded of the Taco Bell chihuahua. (Or rather, chihuahuas, since more than one was used.) People loved those commercials. Then Taco Bell stopped making them. A conspiracy theory cropped up: The owner of the singular dog was asking for too much, so they assassinated the dog to get out of the contract.

    The real reason they stopped making the commercials: They weren’t making people buy Taco Bell. The dog may have wanted Taco Bell, but it was unable to transfer that desire to the audience.

  8. left0ver1under:

    raven (#4) –

    Remember Tebow’s super bowl ad? The one claiming a Filipino doctor suggested an abortion? That was another instance of anti-catholic bashing by fundies.

    The Philippines has always been and remains anti-abortion. A woman who gets one and the doctor who performs one could face manslaughter charges. The doctor could lose the license to practice just by offering to perform one, never mind doing it.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abortion_in_the_Philippines

    http://www.reuters.com/article/2007/09/05/us-philippines-abortion-idUSMAN29804620070905

    “Women who abort their fetuses in the Philippines risk a prison sentence of up to six years, while anyone providing help or assisting faces a similar sentence as well as the loss of any medical license.”

    There is no way that a Filipino doctor “offered” to perform an abortion back in 1987. As per usual, bearing false witness is rationalized as long as you’re “lyin’ fer jeezus”.

  9. unbound:

    Yeah! Just like Kurt Warner! Another over-the-top christian who’s career was cut short just because he was religious…oh wait…

  10. Jackie Papercuts:

    “Satanic liberals” made me picture Anton LeVay in full horny hood and cloak driving his recycling to the center in his Prius, reading The Nation on his tablet while he sips fair trade coffee and then making sure to explain to everyone that the black mass that they won’t be using a nude woman as an alter anymore because it objectifies women.

    Tee-hee.

  11. Jackie Papercuts:

    “That” should be ‘at”. oops

  12. rationalinks:

    And here I thought they cut him because he has one of the worst throwing motions and slowest deliveries in the NFL. Or maybe it’s because he couldn’t read a defense if you drew him a picture. Nope…gotta be the Christianity..

  13. Randomfactor:

    Now I will forever wonder what JesusAde would taste like.

    And I’ll wonder if the Michael Jackson estate would sue for infringement. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/jackson-gave-jesus-juice-other-kids

  14. John Pieret:

    The fans loved him and, last I knew, the NFL is still a business.

    And the last I heard, since Payton got there, the Denver fans have been going “Tim who?”

  15. Raging Bee:

    This is the Patriots loss, God will be with Tim any where he goes and any team he plays on will be blessed and shine like stars.

    The first time I saw Tim Tebow, he was crying, on camera, on a teammate’s shoulder, ’cause his college team had just lost a game. Was God with him then? It’s okay for grown men to cry, of course — but not over something as stupid and inconsequential as a GAME, ferfucksake! That was my first impression of Tim Tebow, and if those Christians can’t find a better “shining star,” I think we can take that as proof that their religion is crap.

    God has made it evident to Tim, and myself that he is most definitely using Tim through football.

    This sort of infantile self-centeredness — the idea that the Creator of the Universe would take the time to interfere in some inconsequential games between groups of mortals — is part of what makes the intersection of jock-culture and religious-identity-politics so disgusting. The immaturity of rabid sports-fans is bad enough without being dressed up in the mantle of religion; and religion can poison everything well enough without being mixed up in jock-culture, thankyouverymuch.

    Having said all that, however, I do kinda wonder what any of the people who took Tebow onto their teams were thinking. No one seemed to have any use for him, or to be willing to find a place for him; so why did any of them take him at all? Were people setting him up to fail, or was he simply not willing or able to be a team player? It’s not “persecution” of “Christians,” so what was it?

  16. Raging Bee:

    The dog may have wanted Taco Bell, but it was unable to transfer that desire to the audience.

    Good point — where did they get the idea that people would want to eat what a dog wants to eat?

  17. tigerlily55:

    There are plenty of “good” Xtians playing football who don’t feel the need to blast it into everyone’s faces. Wasn’t there something in the bible about “praying in secret” so you don’t look self-important?

  18. eric:

    Would we even be talking about Tim if he played like everyone else, or played perfect most of the time?

    Well, no, because if he was as good as everyone else in the NFL, he wouldn’t have got cut and you wouldn’t be complaining.

  19. dugglebogey:

    Tebow was cut because he refused to play at Tight End, the position the Patriots really wanted him to play. He even said it in his tweet, he will only accept a job at QB, a position nobody wants him for.

    A real player and teammate plays any position that will help the team the most, not seek out the glory that comes with the most prestigious position on the field.

    That seems especially “un-christian” to me.

  20. JustaTech:

    Creating a ministiry as your post-pro-football career is hardly new stuff. I went to school with the daughter of a Colts player who became Rev Whomever. I never met him, but his daugter was a huge pest, constantly trying to convert people. Honey, when easily 30% of the school is Jewish and another 10% are from India, all you’re going to do is piss people off, not “save” anyone.

    Something tells me that Tebow would be like that girl, constantly pestering, and not like her dad who at least bothered to get the degree to go with the pestering.

  21. david:

    Perhaps if he promised to pray harder, the owners would have been impressed by their improved chances of winning. Or not.

  22. raven:

    Creating a ministiry as your post-pro-football career is hardly new stuff.

    IIRC, there is an ex-football player who is a minister of a notorious cult church in Seattle.

    Can’t remember his name, but the church is on Mars Hill or some such.

  23. petemoulton:

    “Satan! That’s the ticket, Tim should sell his soul to Satan in exchange for better throwing mechanics.” Well, you know, it worked for Robert Johnson, or so the story went.

  24. UnknownEric the Apostate:

    Yeah! Just like Kurt Warner! Another over-the-top christian who’s career was cut short just because he was religious…oh wait…

    Exactly! Or Ray Lewis, who, post-nearly-getting-charged-with-murder, mentioned Jesus’ name more than his own. He had a real short career and wasn’t at all idolized by his fanbase and respected league-wide.

    That was sarcasm, in case it wasn’t clear.

  25. Artor:

    Satanists are usually Libertarian, not liberal.

  26. Hercules Grytpype-Thynne:

    @raven #22:

    Ken Hutcherson?

  27. Jim:

    And, of course, this is the team who reacted to the arrest of Aaron Sanchez by booting him off the team and offering money back for his jerseys before the man was even arraigned. Clearly, a cesspool of immorality, the Pats.

  28. lofgren:

    It’s like I’m always saying, if there is one thing that the NFL cares about more than winning, it’s snuffing out Christianity.

  29. rickdesper:

    @19
    The Patriots never wanted Tebow to play TE. They had plenty of candidates at TE. Tebow has never played TE, nor is it reasonable to think that his first job as TE would be at the NFL level.

    He was brought in solely as a candidate at the QB position. He worked hard, everybody liked him, and then he threw a lot of incompletions. That’s what he does.

  30. Modusoperandi:

    You’d figure that Christians would be happy that people are fighting to keep them out of the Colloseum.

  31. Raging Bee:

    Creating a ministiry as your post-pro-football career is hardly new stuff.

    Yeah, Tebow could become a full-time bigot and faux-macho-bully-wannabee like that Hutcherson guy.

    You’d figure that Christians would be happy that people are fighting to keep them out of the Colloseum.

    That was back when the lions were pagan. And it would only come back iknto play if Tebow had repeatedly been sacked by atheist or pagan players.

  32. Jim:

    @29 They also brought him on because even he didn’t get to play, they could use him in practice to help the defense against QBs who adlib pass routes, which neither Brady nor his backup do very well. Of course, that’d only be if they had room in the roster, and they didn’t.

  33. naturalcynic:

    @27 Aaron Hernandez

    Last night Keith Olbermann opened up on the Tebow obsession [what, you didn't know he is back on ESPN2 late] and as usual, sort of promoted the case by trying to kill it. KO also reported that Robert Kraft [Pats owner] was oin a talk show and was effusive about how TT was such a wonderful guy and was now almost best buds.
    Anyway, it’s all the media [and the fans'] fault for paying so much attention to a guy that was a great college level QB but didn’t have the skills for higher level competition.

  34. Doug Little:

    Fuck those people are idiots, apparently made in his godly image. The lord surely does work in mysterious ways.

  35. timgueguen:

    There is already talk one of the teams in the Canadian Football League might recruit him. Tebow claims he isn’t interested, and the Montreal Alouettes, who some think would want Tebow to replace their injured vet Anthony Cavillo, say they aren’t interested in him. CFL vet Matt Dunigan said in last night’s broadcast of the Alouettes-Toronto Argonauts game that he’d like to see Tebow play in the CFL, but the other commentators seemed more skeptical.

  36. Doug Little:

    Why don’t the Christians claim Ray Lewis as one of their success stories, I believe he has made multiple comments about his belief in god over the years. Oh that’s right, he was entwined in a murder case and is the wrong color.

  37. busterggi:

    Jesus will punish the Patriots for their blasphemy – expect the former site of Ebbetts Field to be badly damaged in a storm this winter. Or some other place or time or weather.

  38. Alverant:

    Of course it’s not Tebow’s fault he’s a bad player. He can’t be a bad player, he’s christian. No it must be someone else’s fault! Let’s blame liberals!

    This snarky message has been brought to you by the party of personal responsibility.

  39. groucho:

    At least he won’t have to work on the Sabbath anymore.

  40. dogmeat:

    Hmm, let’s see:

    JaMarcus Russell: 3 years, 4083 career yards, 52.1% completion rate, 18 TD, 23 INT

    Tim Tebow: 3 years, 2422 career yards, 47.8% completion rate, 17 TD, 9 INT

    Yup, both suck.

    Yup, both no longer in the NFL.

    Case closed.

  41. kantalope:

    Here’s my trouble with the Teeb – he’s known for 2 years that people don’t like the way he throws the football. Why didn’t he fix his technique? I imagine it might be tough if you were a multizillionaire and, you know picked by gawd himself and all, to get yourself motivated but seems like if you are a superdupergodinfused athlete without another full-time job that you could really make some improvements in that amount of time.

  42. Michael Heath:

    I suspect most people in this forum do not personally like Tim Tebow, I certainly don’t. However I think he’s got the potential to be winning QB though he obviously needs some work, not just his mechanics but also his attitude. I wish he’d grow up, fat chance of that happening; and I hope he gets a developmental shot with another club.

  43. d.c.wilson:

    Tebow’s problem is that reality keeps refusing to follow the script Jesus wrote for him.

  44. left0ver1under:

    If Tebow is like anyone, he’s another Bobby Douglass. He’s big, left handed, can’t throw accurately and refuses to play any position except quarterback. Unlike Douglass, however, Tebow can’t take a hit and gets concussions easily. It’s why he refuses to change positions.

    timgueguen (#35) –

    Tebow would be just as much a failure in the CFL, another Vince Ferragamo. Tebow has trouble reading NFL defenses and four defensive backs, so how is he going to handle defences with five? And he never had a strong arm throwing downfield, so how is he going to handle a wide field (65 yards)?

    On top of that, some overly and overtly religious athletes have worn out their welcomes in Canadian cities and been dumped for it (e.g. Tony Fernandez). There are religious Canadians, but not to the extent in the US. Tebow’s me-ism won’t go over well.

    dogmeat (#40) –

    Actually, no. Russell never put any real effort into being a QB the first time, while Tebow is trying his hardest and has no ability.

    Russell is trying a comeback, working out with ex-NFL veteran Jeff Garcia and his academy. He was cut from the Bears’ camp, but may get picked up somewhere if QB injuries continue to mount.

    http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap1000000209419/article/jeff-garcia-jamarcus-russells-mindset-needed-work

  45. wildbill:

    So how many of the “commenters” at the blaze would take tebow as their #1 (hell, even #2) QB for their fantasy football team? (I can hear it now, “Are you crazy, he sucks. But he’s persecuted!”)

  46. F [is for failure to emerge]:

    God will be with Tim any where he goes and any team he plays on will be blessed and shine like stars

    Brown dwarves are technically stars.
    .

    The dog may have wanted Taco Bell, but it was unable to transfer that desire to the audience.

    Yeah, they rather ended up with an ephemeral but good market for plush Taco Bell chihuahuas.

  47. martinc:

    Thank goodness Tebow is no longer a professional athlete. Now God can stop having to influence the results of his games, and will have the time to deal with secondary issues like world starvation and poverty.

  48. dingojack:

    RE: Taco Bell

    Know why Mrs Goebbels Gerber’s baby food never sold well in Africa?

    Because literacy (in English particularly) is low. So mothers figured ‘what’s in this jar? The picture on the label will tell me.’

    Puréed baby anyone?*

    ;Dingo
    ———
    * or that’s how the urban myth goes ;)

  49. anubisprime:

    The national sport in Blighty…’real football’…(ducks)… seems thankfully devoid of over zealous jeebus droolers…no doubt there are a few but they have the good taste and the integrity not to promote their delusion at any opportunity.

    The nearest we came to having a ‘Timbo’ character was a Olympic and European Long jumper called Jonathan Edwards who was rather ostentatious in his faith.

    Every competition he made a song and dance in the media about god giving him the talent etc etc…and watching over him dah de dah de dah!

    He was the Christian’s Christian and as such was their darling and hero!

    He retired competitive events and got Sunday slots introducing religious based progs…like Songs of Praise…which was one of the most long standing and apparently popular religious items on the BBC.

    He was truly one of the jeebus sunbeams they all doted on..

    and one morning not long after woke up an atheist!

  50. dingojack:

    anubisprime – How exactly? With an airhorn? A nice cup tea?
    How did Mr Edwards wake that atheist? Inquiring minds need to know and all that….
    ;) Dingo

  51. escuerd:

    It’s funny but if he truly wants to be an NFL QB he should probably come out and tell the world he is gay. This will get him a starting QB job with any team!

    Well, that commenter (who’s echoing Limbaugh) did get one thing right. Tebow should go ahead and come out. Of course, that’s easy for me to say, not having anything to lose. Unfortunately, I doubt it will be as beneficial for him as they imagine considering that so many of his current fans and allies are anti-gay.

  52. democommie:

    What will Timmy do now? Maybe Baby JESUS wants him to be a penniless mendicant, carrying his message to the lepers and consumptives in the third world? I’ll bet that callers blocked from his I-phone.

  53. ArtK:

    It’s very, very obvious: Neither Tim nor his fans prayed hard enough. After all, if your faith is strong enough, God will grant whatever you want. In other words, Tebow is unemployed because he isn’t enough of a Christian. I recommend 6 hours of daily prayers and a week of fasting every month.

  54. Area Man:

    His stats as a beginner were better than Elway’s. Fact is, Elway didn’t want to see his records in Denver eclipsed so they didn’t EVER give him a real chance.

    Well, except for having made him the starting QB early in the season and letting him start every game after that, in spite of the fact that he was the 3rd-string QB. I’m not sure how much more of a chance you can give someone other than letting him jump two spots over people who performed better.

    As for stats, Tebow’s were worse than those of Kyle Orton, the starter he replaced, in every single category except for turnovers. And Orton was off to a bad start. The only records Tebow was in danger of breaking are the ones you don’t want, like fewest yards per game. (And if Elway cared so much about protecting his own legacy, why did he hire Peyton?)

  55. RealityBasedSteve:

    “Satanic liberals” made me picture Anton LeVay in full horny hood and cloak driving his recycling to the center in his Prius, reading The Nation on his tablet while he sips fair trade coffee and then making sure to explain to everyone that the black mass that they won’t be using a nude woman as an alter anymore because it objectifies women.

    Tee-hee.

    ZOMG! That almost had coffee coming out of my nose. And for some reason now my mind has turned it into a Family Guy cartoon. Thank you for the mental image.

    RealityBasedsteve

  56. Area Man:

    I suspect most people in this forum do not personally like Tim Tebow, I certainly don’t. However I think he’s got the potential to be winning QB though he obviously needs some work, not just his mechanics but also his attitude.

    I’m the exact opposite. I think Tebow is a good guy and his charitable impulses are sincere. I could do without him wearing his religion on his sleeve, but I find that more entertaining than annoying. I’d be happy to see him succeed, and was really pulling for him in Denver.

    But he’s just not a good QB. He proved that in Denver with his lousy offensive production and huge number of sacks. Tebow worshipers focus exclusively on his win-loss record because that’s the only thing that doesn’t look bad. But when actually watching the games, it was clear that the defense and special teams were doing all the work, and the Broncos kept limping to victory in overtime. A better QB would have won those games handily (as Peyton proved last year).

    And then he had two additional chances with two other teams. I’m not buying the idea that he wasn’t being played right, or that they didn’t make the necessary changes to his stance or throwing motion. People who claim that apparently think they know better than the coaching staffs of 3 separate NFL teams.

    Tebow is the ultimate example of pro-Christian affirmative action. If not for his religion, he probably would have been drafted very low, languished as a third-stringer, and eventually dropped off into obscurity. As it stands, he was given vastly more chances than a more secular person would have received, was graded on a curve, and despite all that he couldn’t make the cut. Seeing people make him out to be the victim is enraging. What universe are they from?

  57. keithm:

    Tebow would be just as much a failure in the CFL, another Vince Ferragamo. Tebow has trouble reading NFL defenses and four defensive backs, so how is he going to handle defences with five? And he never had a strong arm throwing downfield, so how is he going to handle a wide field (65 yards)?

    Not just wider, but longer. The other problem for him is that with only 3 downs the passing game is a lot more critical because you have a smaller margin of error. You need quarterbacks who can go long, accurately, all the time. If anything, Tebow would be worse in the CFL.

  58. anubisprime:

    dingojack @ 50

    OK…One evening..(not sure which one)…he went to bed said his prayers…dah de dah de dah…next morning he awoke in a new frame of mind…an atheist one. ;-)

    It was a very fast change of mind no agonising or soul searching apparently… remarkable really…seems since a young lad he was rather enamoured with a sky daddy a born again and proud of it bunny…and quite besotted…as his career interviews and subsequent celebrity etc seems to pay witness to…would even refuse to compete on a Sunday.

    And one day his faith ended and he declared he was an atheist….

  59. Matt Carl:

    Ironically, when the Patriots picked up Tebow I also heard that it was only because Kraft himself is a devout Christian. The fix is in either way!

  60. democommie:

    It would appear, to the casual observer, that GOD really, Really, REALLY likes Peyton Manning:

    http://www.latimes.com/sports/football/nfl/la-sp-ravens-broncos-20130906,0,176031.story?track=rss#axzz2e78AgYpH

    Including LIGHTNING OVER THE STADIUM before the game!!

  61. dingojack:

    anubisprime – surely by now* you’d know I find the English language funny**. I knew exactly what you meant.
    Dingo
    ——-
    * ‘i do, and don’t call me Shirley!’
    ** both in the sense of amusing and interesting.

  62. Raging Bee:

    …and then making sure to explain to everyone that the black mass that they won’t be using a nude woman as an alter anymore because it objectifies women.

    …and then getting flak from both men and women who insist that the nudity glorifies women, rather than objectifying them.

  63. Raging Bee:

    Seeing people make him out to be the victim is enraging. What universe are they from?

    Yeah, it’s not like he’s in any danger of becoming homeless as a result of this latest “persecution.”

    Oh, and thanks, Area Man, for answering my question.

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