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Kirk Cameron Saves Christmas

We’ve already seen a raft of bad Christian movies this year but the worst may be yet to come. Banana enthusiast Kirk Cameron is going to save Christmas from evil things like historical facts and people who say “happy holidays.” And he’s apparently going to do it by break dancing. Seriously. Here’s the trailer:

Naturally, The Blaze is promoting the movie. And I’m not making this up, the lead character in the movie is named Christian White.

Unlike some of his more recent projects, “Saving Christmas” isn’t a documentary. It’s a comedic narrative that weaves together educational elements that, through a character-driven storyline, address these common complaints and critiques.

Cameron said some of the claims that will be addressed in the film include: the notion that Christmas is really a church co-opting of winter solstice celebrations, that Jesus was not born on December 25, that Christmas trees are pagan and that consumerism is overshadowing the true reason for the season.

“It’s a scripted story about a guy named Christian White who represents the typical white Christian male and he’s got a bad case of religious bah humbugs,” Cameron said. “He is just deflating his wife’s entire Christmas party because he has come to believe that everything we’re doing at Christmas to celebrate is wrong.”

Really? You’re going to show that Jesus was born on Dec. 25th? And that many of the elements of Christmas symbolism weren’t borrowed from early pagan celebrations? Good luck with that. I’m sure it will be as historically accurate as your documentary about America’s Christian origins. In that documentary, by the way, he talks a lot about the Mayflower Compact, the Christian covenant signed by the Puritans who founded the Plymouth Bay Colony. Guess what they did? Banned the celebration of Christmas because it was a repurposed pagan celebration. Irony!

Comments

  1. lldayo says

    Is there going to be an “evil villain” in the movie called Mohammed Brown that will be arguing with Mr. White?

  2. says

    “Christian White”? Really?

    No, really?

    I can’t tell from the trailer though. Is this move for or against the commercialism of Christmas?

  3. sh3baproject says

    “Christian White”
    sounds like a charcter who makes and distrubates copies of the bible in a dypostic world the far right have a fetish for.

  4. colnago80 says

    Dec. 25? This is an all time laugher. The date Dec. 25 was based on the Julian Calender which would have placed it based on the Gregorian Calender sometime in the 3rd week of January. The inanity of assholes like Cameron is breathtaking.

  5. John Pieret says

    Kirk Cameron is Saving Christmas?

    I’m sure poor Christmas is asking “Why Me?!?!?”

  6. magistramarla says

    Yes, I used to teach my Latin students about Saturnalia as a part of Roman culture.
    The textbook mentioned the traditions of decorating with evergreen boughs, exchanging presents, etc. very matter-of-factually. Some of my students would note the similarities and ask whether those traditions were “borrowed” from xtian traditions. I would simply note the dates that we were discussing.
    When the textbook covered the cult of Isis in Alexandria, many of my students would again note similarities, such as the death and rebirth of Osiris and that one of the rituals that was believed to be a part of joining the cult resembled baptism.
    Again, the students would assert that this must have been “borrowed” from the xtians, and I would once again point out the dates. (I couldn’t say much, since this was in Texas)
    Some of the smarter students began to connect the dots. I always said that I was a quietly subversive teacher.

  7. eric says

    @7:

    The date Dec. 25 was based on the Julian Calender which would have placed it based on the Gregorian Calender sometime in the 3rd week of January. The inanity of assholes like Cameron is breathtaking.

    Yeah, he’s giving Sherry “no people existed before Christians” Shephard a run for her money.

  8. colnago80 says

    Re eric @ #10

    Sherry Shephard is a new one on me but I find this rather amazing. Yeshua ben Yusef of Nazareth wasn’t a Christian when he was born and there was nary a Christian in existence.

  9. eric says

    @12 – I’m sure you can find you tube videos of her saying it. And while you’re doing that, look up a video of Whoopi asking her if she believes the Earth is round. Then you can come back and tell me which of her statements you think is stupider. I ask because for me, it’s too close to call – I need a second opinion. :)

  10. Chris J says

    I watched the trailer with the sound off… And I’m getting a “grown-up man-child is shown the meaning of Christmas (presents!) by a creepily-staring Kirk Cameron dressing up as a creepily-staring Santa Clause. Also jump-cuts to what could easily be scenes from a slasher film.”

    How close did I get?

  11. konrad_arflane says

    Someone on another blog pointed out that “Christian White” is (also) the name of a Nazi reggae singer in “Johnny Mnemonic” (the story, anyway, don’t know about the movie). How’s that for life imitating art?

  12. rod99 says

    You are missing the point of calendar creation. The earth goes around the sun every 365.242 and a bit days. The Julian
    calendar used the leap day to try to track of that, but kept gaining time, over the universe. The new Gregorian calendar keeps better track, but 10 days were skipped to match the time slowly introduced over the centuries.

  13. dingojack says

    ‘Christian White’ — not Harvey Keitel then?
    Surely Steve Buscemi turns up as “Mr Pink”.
    Dingo

  14. matty1 says

    War on Christmas already? It’s still fucking August,

    Also they should have made more of the bit where he falls over break dancing and smacks his head on a present, that was the only good bit in the trailer.

  15. generalfactotum says

    Why can’t I get this song out of my head (slightly modified from the original in “A Nightmare before Christmas”?)

    This time, this time
    Saving Christmas
    Saving Christmas
    Saving Christmas, saving Christmas
    Is so fine

    It’s ours this time
    And won’t the children be surprised
    It’s ours this time

  16. says

    At the end of the trailer it says “Limited engagement.”
    Does that mean people capable of rational thought won’t be allowed inside theaters?

  17. says

    I’ll pass on this video and, @10 & @12 I’ll pass on looking up Sherry Shephard. As I get older, my brain cells become more precious to me and I don’t want to waste them on these people.

    @ fithdentist

    “Limited engagement” really means “Coming to a church basement in your neighborhood soon!” Or “we can only get a few sympathetic movie houses to show this obvious money loser.”

  18. Chiroptera says

    Banana enthusiast Kirk Cameron is going to save Christmas from evil things like…people who say “happy holidays.”

    I don’t know whether this really is going to be in the movie (I didn’t watch the linked video) or just a snark; but knowing that there are a lot of people who really do get bent out of shape over this, I have to express my utter bewilderment over why it’s considered an important issue.

  19. Michael Heath says

    It’s not Kirk Cameron’s fault this target demographic is so idiotic he’s has to hit them over the head to make a point.

    One of the most influential churches in my town is hosting Kevin Sorbo’s God is Not Dead movie tonight. One of the local newspapers claim this movie might appear hyperbolic, but such persecution happens!

  20. moarscienceplz says

    “banana enthusiast” LOL!
    Has he never been introduced to the joy of zucchini?

  21. Artor says

    I wonder if Cameron thinks he’s being clever and subversive by alluding to Christian Grey, hoping to subtly lure all those shameless hussies who read 50 Shades back to Jebus with his hunky teen hearthrob smarm.

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